This post mainly comes from the ideas of the great Tony Robbins while I only add to it.
You are seeking emotions and experiences. After researching experts, I have found that there are six basic, universal needs that drive ALL human behavior. Every human being has these needs, but we each put different VALUE on these needs. Our focus on these needs will determine the direction of our life! What need will you live for?
The six human needs include:
1) Certainty
2) Significance
3) Variety
4) Love/Connection
5) Growth
6) Contribution
Each of these needs influence every single human being’s life, and by understanding the needs that shape your behavior, you can take control of your life, and create new habits that lead you to the life you’ve been dreaming of living.
What do you think the most addictive thing in the world is???
Find out in a few paragraphs, it’s not what you think.
Before we get more into our human needs, lets look at how DECISIONS shape our destiny, and our decisions of course are intertwined with our needs.
Decision is the ultimate power. Decisions shape destiny.
There are 3 Decisions we are making EVERY moment of our lives:
1) What am I going to focus on? Focus=feeling. Past/present/Future…Self or others?
2) What does it(this situation/experience) mean? Is it the end or the beginning? Are you being punished or rewarded?
3)What are your going to do? Are you going to give up or move forward?
We make these decisions consciously or unconsciously.**
Lance Armstrong for example could have focused on his cancer but he continued to focus on biking and being the best. He continued to win!
Rosa Parks. Her focus was that she could change the world for her kids or grandkids instead of focusing on what she was told to do. She wouldn’t go to the back of the bus & she changed the whole world!
Entrepreneur Tony Robbins also has an incredible story. When he was a eleven years old with a very broke family and no food for Thanksgiving, a stranger came to his house on Thanksgiving to give them a turkey. Tony’s angry father and himself had VERY different PERSPECTIVES/FOCUSES on this event that went like this:
Tony’s Father: His 3 decisions: Focus was “this is charity” What does it mean “I am worthless” What do I have to do? “Leave my family.” Which he did…
Tony’s focus: There’s food! What does it mean? “Strangers care about me and other people.” What am I going to do? “I’m going to do something to make a difference.” Six years later he started feeding families when he was 17. Slowly but surely he built a foundation and has fed millions of people all over the world.
Your FOCUS determines much of your life. Try to be intentional and conscious of what you focus on.
& The most addictive thing in the world is….
Most people will guess wrong. The answer is Problems.
**Most people find a way to feel significant by having a significant problem. Problems are the safest way to connect with others and not be rejected. Problems are the biggest addiction in our culture.
And SiGNIFICANCE is one of the six human needs!!! Think about your life. Do you connect and feel significant through problems? And are you happy with constantly talking about problems or do you want to live a life with less complaining?
***Instead of just looking at peoples’ behaviors, see their attempts to meet their needs.***
A few insights into the 6 human needs:
1) Certainty
- People like to be certain, to have financial security, to trust people and experiences. But too much certainty makes us bored, so we need some variety.
2) Variety
- People like good surprises, if it’s a bad surprise they call it a problem.
3) Significance
- We all need to feel important, special, unique..People do this in so many different ways-tattoos, religion, joining a group..etc..One of the quickest way some people feel significant is through Violence. Violent things happen each day, just watch the news; these people have a striving for significance, as well as some big mental problems..I encourage you to be significant in a positive way. Join some great groups, read, write, travel.
4) What we really need is Connection & Love
- Connection and love are like rain to a garden of flowers, they make us grow. Surround yourself with people who support and love you. I am so thankful for my family because of their love. Also if you are feeling down and depressed, get a pet. Dogs will love you and are always happy to see you. Cats are different, but they can show love to their owners as well.
Every human finds a way to meet the first 4 needs. What will your FOCUS be to meet these needs???
The next two needs create fulfillment!
5) Growth
If you don’t grow, you die. Relationships, businesses, self, etc.
- We grow when we have something to give of value. So don’t always be thinking of yourself..I know it’s hard, but try to get out of yourself for awhile & see what you can give to others that can help them. EVERYONE has something great to contribute, but it can be very difficult to find it. Start by donating food or clothes, or doing something small for someone. It feels amazing and will help you grow. It’s funny how a selfless act will ultimately help you too.
6) To Contribute beyond ourselves
- Growth and Contribution are intertwined. You grow by contributing. Contribution=growth.
“The secret of living is giving.”
“It’s not about me, it’s about we.” Tony Robbins
People truly get excited to contribute once they experience it and not just talk about it.
We ALL have the same needs, but whatever need leads us will lead us to our destination.
People all try to meet the same needs, but we do it in different ways. A firefighter saves lives for significance while someone else kills a person for significance.
Try to appreciate how people are attempting to meet their needs, explore your decisions, and give.
With Ken Thompson 