Why It’s ESSENTIAL for you to Define Success

Why is it important for you to define success?

  1. It will determine everything you do
  2. Everything you do determines the quality of your future
  3. Your future always comes in the form of ‘today’

Defining success gives you an anchor to what is true to you. It helps you stay focused and puts you on a path toward your success.

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“Where focus goes, energy flows.”

Tony Robbins

The term “success” has often been related to having a lot of money, but a more accurate definition of success comes from Oxford Dictionary: “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.”

If success is the accomplishment of an aim or purpose then success must mean something different to each person.

Maybe success to one person is taking care of their needs while success to someone else is earning $1,000,000 dollars.

The person who defines success as taking care of their needs prioritizes that first in their life, whereas the person who wants to make $1,000,000 dollars may prioritize making money first. Someone who sees success as balancing work with passion will prioritize work with their passion, but in all scenarios each person is guided by what success means to them.

So instead of debating the question “what is real success?” Ask yourself “what does success mean to me?”

When you know what success is for you you automatically put yourself on a path toward that success, but there are distractions all around us. If you don’t have an anchor of what success means to you, to focus on, you’ll get pushed and pulled and never achieve success. Some people spend their entire lives wandering around this Earth questioning why they were never able to achieve success.

Don’t let that be you.

Write down what success means to you on a notecard.
Put it somewhere that you’ll be able to see it everyday.
Let your definition of success guide you to it.

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It’s okay to not know

I was in my senior year of high school when I was asked for the millionth time by another “adult:” “What are you going to major in?”

I had no idea. Later that evening I was talking to my dad & I asked him what he thought I should major in. I’m sure he gave me some ideas but what I vividly remember from that conversation is him telling me that it’s also okay if I don’t know right now.

“It’s okay to not know.”

That answer seemed somewhat surprising after numerous teachers & “adults” spoke of how important it was to know what you were going to major in.

This advice gave me a huge sense of relief and I still use it today in a number of situations.

I went into college with no major, undeclared, for my first 2 years, then I actually had to decide.

I chose based off of what my interests were, not off of what would make me the most money, and I am happy with my choices. I have a degree in Sport Management, a minor in Business, and a Masters of Education degree.

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I wasn’t worried about the future when I entered college undeclared.

“Know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.”
Mary Schmich

My focus was on the day at hand. My focus was to live life to the fullest while completing everything needed to graduate.

I knew that it was okay to not try to know exactly how my future would pan out, but to trust it would turn out well, and I took actions based on that faith, like this quote from Alan Watts:

 “To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don’t grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float.” 

 

But it can be easy to get caught up in worrying about the countless tasks you need to complete. I do that sometimes, but when I know I’m worrying I remind myself to focus on what I can do to return to peace of mind. 

Worry can be a motivator to get things done, but it can be a cage as well. Uncertainty lives with all of us, every single day. It’s always there, like gravity. How will you deal with it?

“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty that you can comfortably live with.”
Tony Robbins

So it’s completely okay to not know.

“The only thing I know is that I know nothing.”
Socrates

But what happens when you really want to know?

You want to know the answer.
You want to know what to do.
You want to know what will happen.

You want certainty in uncertain things and there are ways to create some certainty during uncertain times.

 

There are ways to create some certainty during uncertain times.

One way is to dwell in the idea that life is working out in everyone’s best interest, even during down times. And if you’re constantly hating your job then that could be life telling you to quit & find work that you enjoy.

—The second way is to focus on making progress.
If you really want to “grab life by the horns” and take control of your life, progress is key. You might feel stuck at a job you hate or lost in what you think you should do.

 

How can you make progress?

 

—Begin by asking yourself “what does my ideal life look like?”

Think about ideals in a variety of aspects in your life: Financial, relationships, career, hobbies, environment, etc.

This is the time to let go of any limiting beliefs you have and raise your standards. 

Even if you don’t believe you can have your ideal life just pretend for a moment and think about what it would look like.

—Know your “why.”

Why do you want your ideal life? Think about all your reasons. It could be for your happiness, to provide for your family, to start a charity, to buy a new car, etc.

—Take Action

Begin taking action toward your ideal life. Your reasons for making it happen will grow stronger from here.

 

Uncertainty surrounds us every day.

How will you make the most of it?

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Quotes!

“The root of suffering is resisting the certainty that no matter what the circumstances, uncertainty is all we truly have.”
 Pema Chödrön

“We absolutely must leave room for doubt or there is no progress and there is no learning. There is no learning without having to pose a question. And a question requires doubt. People search for certainty. But there is no certainty. People are terrified — how can you live and not know? It is not odd at all. You only think you know, as a matter of fact. And most of your actions are based on incomplete knowledge and you really don’t know what it is all about, or what the purpose of the world is, or know a great deal of other things. It is possible to live and not know.”
Richard Feynman

“There are many things of which we are completely unaware—in fact, there are things of which we are so unaware, we don’t even know we are unaware of them.”
Donald Rumsfeld

“Suspecting and knowing are not the same.”
Rick Riordan

“People don’t know that they don’t know. Remember that before you hold it against them.”
Akiroq Brost

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.”
Gilda Radner

“A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.”
William Shakespeare

“Everything you’ve learned in school as “obvious” becomes less and less obvious as you begin to study the universe. For example, there are no solids in the universe. There’s not even a suggestion of a solid. There are no absolute continuums. There are no surfaces. There are no straight lines.”
Richard Buckminster Fuller

“Beyond all sciences, philosophies, theologies, and histories, a child’s relentless inquiry is truly all it takes to remind us that we don’t know as much as we think we know.”
Criss Jami

The Question IS The Answer

Will this article make you smarter?

Questions. Questions. Questions.

Everyone is looking for answers. No one is looking for questions.

But the answer is within the question.

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Research has been done by scientists on the power questions have on human brains.

Questions trigger a reflex in humans know as “instinctive elaboration,” which means when someone asks you a question, the question takes over the brain’s thought process. 

Behavioral scientists Morwitz, Johnson, and Schmittlein did a study on this topic and found that asking people questions about their futures significantly influenced their decisions. This is known as the “mere measurement effect.” The study was done in 1993 with over 40,000 participants by asking them if they were going to purchase a new car within six months. This question increased their purchase rates by 35%.

Similar surveys have been done on the topics of voting, donating blood, exercise frequency, and more. 

Each survey found that all these behaviors can be increased by asking about them!

Your mind is powerful!

Research has found that the more the brain thinks about a certain behavior, the more likely it is that you will do it.

Thinking about something can change your behavior and sensations.

Imagine sipping some warm hot chocolate. 

Can you taste it? 

Can you notice your mind shifted its focus from where it was to the hot chocolate?

Your mind is powerful…

 

So if you never ask a question, you will never get an answer.

If you ask a negative question like, “why do bad things always happen to me?” You will get an answer, and it will reinforce bad things happening to you.

If you ask a positive question like, “how can I live my best life?” You will get an answer and it will reinforce ideas of how you can live your best life.

Questions are powerful tools you can use to live more of the life you want to live.

coacht.blog Tim Ferriss Quote Questions

 

Here are some others who strongly agree:

“Problems that remain persistently insoluble should always be suspected as questions asked in the wrong way.”
Alan Watts

“Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”
Tony Robbins

“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.”
Voltaire

“It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.”
Eugene Ionesco

“Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
Rainer Maria Rilke

“One of the many qualities that separate self-made billionaires from the rest of us is their ability to ask the right questions.”
Justine Musk

“Always the beautiful answer who asks a more beautiful question.”
E. E. Cummings

“If you do not know how to ask the right question, you discover nothing.”
W. Edwards Deming

“Life is an unanswered question, but let’s still believe in the dignity and importance of the question.”
Tennessee Williams

“I think that probably the most important thing about our education was that it taught us to question even those things we thought we knew.”
Thabo Mbeki

He must be very ignorant for he answers every question he is asked.”
Voltaire

“A wise man’s question contains half the answer.”
Solomon Ibn Gabirol

A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.”
Francis Bacon

 

7 powerful questions Tony Robbins asks to spark positive emotions are:

—What am I happy about in my life now?

—What am I excited about in my life now?

—What am I proud about in my life now?

—What am I grateful about in my life now?

—What am I enjoying in life right now?

—What am I committed to in my life right now?

—Who do I love? Who loves me?

 

What are 3 other questions you can think of that by asking yourself them will help you achieve a goal?

 

 

 

In All Things, Use what Works for You

“Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own.”

Bruce Lee

 

How often have you been told what to do with your life?

Most people who give you unsolicited advice have good intentions but it doesn’t mean that what has worked for them will work for you.

“Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”
Paulo Coelho

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It’s easy to get lost in all the things you “should do,” as people will tell you, while forgetting about what you actually want to do.

It can be extremely difficult when it seems like everyone else is doing what people say you “should do”, like going to college, but it’s not for everyone.

Here are some people who didn’t go or dropped out of college:

Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Ted Turner, Tony Robbins, Richard Branson, Ellen DeGeneres, Rachael Ray, Michael Dell, Jack Dorsey, Russell Simmons, John D. Rockefeller, Henry Ford, and many others. Find a list of 100 here.

Remember this quote from Mark Twain whenever you are thinking that you should be doing what others are doing:

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”

 

If you’re struggling in an area where you see others succeeding in, it doesn’t make you dumb, it just tells you that that area is not for you, unless you’re passionate about it. You can learn & master any skill you want through relentless practice.

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” 
Albert Einstein

 

A variety of life experiences & hobbies can help you figure out your passion.

Maybe it’s writing, acting, speaking, athletics, designer, teacher, attendant, horse trainer.

But people say, “you can’t do that, no one makes money doing that.”

Except they do…

If there is anyone doing what you would love to do, you can do it too.

You may have to take some side jobs as you focus on getting paid to do what you love, but if you are passionate enough about it, you will find a way.

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.”
Steve Jobs

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You are unique.

People find the most happiness when they embrace their uniqueness instead of trying to please people & fit in.

Maybe you learn best visually while someone else learns best verbally.
Or aurally, physically, logically, socially, or solitary.

Which way is best? 

There is no “best.” There is only what is best for you.

Find out how you learn best & don’t judge yourself.

I think I learn best visually—I like demonstrations especially when I am able to get involved.

“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.”
Benjamin Franklin

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There are many crossroads in life, leaving you with multiple choices. The easy path is to follow what others are doing.

A nurse who spent years working in palliative care, taking care of people in the last 12 weeks of their lives, researched and wrote the top five regrets people have on their deathbeds.

The most common regret was “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” Find the article here.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Use what works for you, not what works for someone else.

Here are 3 more ways to live life you won’t regret

 

 

Quotes to help find and follow your bliss

“You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.”
Maya Angelou

“If it falls your lot to be a street sweeper, go out and sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures. Sweep streets like Handel and Beethoven composed music. Sweep streets like Shakespeare wrote poetry. Sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will have to pause and say, here lived a great street sweeper who swept his job well.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.

“The people who make it to the top – whether they’re musicians, or great chefs, or corporate honchos – are addicted to their calling … [they] are the ones who’d be doing whatever it is they love, even if they weren’t being paid.”
Quincy Jones

“There comes a time when you ought to start doing what you want. Take a job that you love. You will jump out of bed in the morning. I think you are out of your mind if you keep taking jobs that you don’t like because you think it will look good on your resume. Isn’t that a little like saving up sex for your old age?”
Warren Buffet

“I think the foremost quality – there’s no success without it – is really loving what you do. If you love it, you do it well, and there’s no success if you don’t do well what you’re working at.”
Malcolm Forbes

“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bounds. Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.”
Patanjali

“The law of work seems unfair, but nothing can change it; the more enjoyment you get out of your work, the more money you will make.”
Mark Twain

“Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.”
Rumi

“Yes, I’ve made a great deal of dough from my fiction, but I never set a single word down on paper with the thought of being paid for it … I have written because it fulfilled me. Maybe it paid off the mortgage on the house and got the kids through college, but those things were on the side—I did it for the buzz. I did it for the pure joy of the thing. And if you can do it for the joy, you can do it forever.”
Stephen King

“I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”
Steve Jobs

Let Memento Mori Inspire You

“Memento Mori” means to keep in mind that you will die.

2,000 years ago it was popular for Roman generals to keep this idea in mind. 

As generals paraded around their cities in horse led chariots after victorious battles, they kept aides behind them to whisper into their ears, “Memento Mori.”

Generals knew the fleetingness of life and wanted to keep the reminder close by so that their egos didn’t get the best of them. It’s easy for our ego to inflate and make us believe we are bigger than death, especially after achieving success. So it is a humble reminder to remember your death. To remember that you, and everyone around you, is going to die.

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A Memento Mori painting by Vincent Van Gogh

Many artists, philosophers, and rulers have used “Memento Mori” to inspire them.

Instead of letting the idea of death scare them, as many do, they used it to create urgency and a deeper perspective, seeing life as a gift and not as suffering.

You’ve probably heard of people who have experienced a near death experience and came out of it with a new inspiration for living fully. You don’t need a near death experience to change your life. “Memento Mori” can be your inspiration and guide to living a full life.

 

Here are some famous names of the past who were inspired by the reminder of death, Memento Mori:

“Of all the footprints, that of the elephant is supreme. Similarly, of all mindfulness meditation, that on death is supreme.”
Buddha

“Every third thought shall be my grave.”
William Shakespeare

“Philosophy is “about nothing else but dying and being dead.”
Socrates

“To practice death is to practice freedom. A man who has learned how to die has unlearned how to be a slave.”
Michel de Montaigne

“People who are excited by posthumous fame forget that the people who remember them will soon die too. And those after them in turn. Until their memory, passes from one to another like a candle flame, gutters and goes out.”
Marcus Aurelius

“So this is how a thoughtful person should await death: not with indifference, not with impatience, not with disdain, but simply viewing it as one of the things that happens to us. Now you anticipate the child’s emergence from its mother’s womb; that’s how you should await the hour when your soul will emerge from its compartment.”
Marcus Aurelius

“Stop whatever you’re doing for a moment and ask yourself: Am I afraid of death because I won’t be able to do this anymore?”
Marcus Aurelius

Find more Marcus Aurelius ideas on death & other subjects here

 

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Vanity Painting by Philippe de Champaigne

 

The reminder of death still inspires many modern day entrepreneurs, artists, and others:

“There’s something coming for all of us. It’s called death. Rather than fearing it, it can become one of our greatest counselors. So, if this was the last week of your life, what would you cherish most? How would you live? How would you love? What truth would you tell today?”
Tony Robbins

“It’s easy to lose track of that mortality, to forget time, to think that you’re going to live forever. The idea that you’re gonna die and that life is short is only depressing if you’re thinking about it wrong. If you’re thinking about it right it should give you a sense of priority. It should even give you a sense of meaning; it should let you know what’s important, what you’re trying to do while you’re here on this planet.”
Ryan Holiday

“The reason I believe in it(death as motivation) is because it’s ultimately practical. It’s the guiding light and the fire and ambition that drives me toward legacy and living my best life.”
Gary Vaynerchuk

 

Will you look death in the face?

Are you ready to let death inspire you?

Do it and see how your life changes for the better…

Memento Mori

 

 

 

 

 

Dream Big. How I got Involved with Acting

The first time I remember wanting to be an actor was after watching Jim Carrey starring in the movie, The Mask.  I watched it on VHS! Do you remember those?

I enjoyed 27970cd5226fcca6a7ab5d534a4c6a63watching Jim in his many roles as I was growing up, and so he was one of the first people that gave me inspiration to become an actor.

But after getting a little older, I realized that “no-one” can actually become an actor..right?  Wrong.  If no-one could become an actor, how are there actors?  ..“Because they are born into it” or because they “got lucky,” is what many people say..  Oh.

That is the mindset when you grow up in a small town that is 2,000+ miles away from Los Angeles.

So I continued living my life as a kid with little responsibilities, focusing on school, athletics, friends and family….and catching crayfish

Kenny Thompson

I’m on the right side holding the crayfish above Peter’s head.  Thank you Ginny for the picture!

The older I got, the more people asked what I wanted to do with my life, because that’s what happens when we get older right.

I never really had a good answer for them.  I didn’t know what I wanted to do.  I think that most people don’t know what they want to do so they just choose a generic field to study and then they follow through with it.  They end up living a 9-5 life that they don’t really enjoy so that they can spend their money on a house that is used for sleeping and a car used for driving to work.

Alan Watts says “That’s just stupid to live like that.  Better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing than a long life spent in a miserable way.”

Ask yourself “What do I really want to do with my life?”

After two years of being undeclared in college, I literally had to choose a major, so I chose Sports Administration with a Business minor.  I thought, “Well I like sports so I’ll try this.”  Throughout the next years when I got closer to graduating, the thoughts of what I want to do with my life came to me again.

I thought, “I think I would really like to be an actor.”  But not knowing how I could become an actor was a big obstacle for me.  Philosopher Alan Watts inspired me in his video “What if Money Was No Object?

After listening to many of Watt’s speeches, as well as reading and listening to Ram Dass, Dan Millman, Dale Carnegie, Steve Jobs, Tim Ferriss & John Lee Dumas, I really knew that I didn’t want to work a 7-3, or 8-4, or 9-5 job that I did not enjoy going to for the next 30-40 years of my life so that I can retire and “be happy.”

(Recent inspiration from: Marcus Aurelius, Eckhart Tolle, Mark Manson, Ryan Holiday, Tony Robbins, Derek Sivers).

So even after knowing I didn’t want to have that 8 hour a day job at somewhere I don’t enjoy, I thought it would be a good idea to get my Masters in Education to become a teacher.

School was never that hard for me, but there were definitely some overwhelming times while I was getting my Masters Degree.  I had the end goal in mind, of getting this degree, so I knew that I was going to get things done whether I felt like it or not.

My First Movie

Anyway right before I began my Master’s Program, there was a movie to be filmed on my Universities Campus (I.U.P.).  That movie was Southpaw, starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Rachel McAdams and 50 Cent, directed by Antoine Fuqua.

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When I found out about this, I asked myself, “How can I get involved with this movie?”  So I googled information about the movie and found that they were looking for people to play as extras in the movie.  I went to an audition for the movie, they asked some questions, took some pictures and I was on my way.

I didn’t receive a call for weeks, and the movie began filming so I thought that I was not going to get a call.

But one day, I was working as a Sports Information employee in the building where Southpaw was being filmed, the K.C.A.C in I.U.P. and I went to a bathroom.  As I was at the urinal, a man came into the bathroom and went to a urinal nearby (there were only 2 or 3 urinals).  So I struck up a conversation, asking him if he was involved with the movie.  He responded by telling me that he was the director.

It was Antoine Fuqua!  The man who directed Training Day with Denzel Washington.

Anyway, I asked him if he needed any help with the movie and that I would work for free.  He asked if I would like to be an actor.  And I jokingly said, “Well I have the face right?”  We both laughed after we washed our hands and were exiting the bathroom.  Once outside the bathroom he called someone over.  They came over and he told them to get my information down and put me in the movie.

I got a call the next day to be a character as a press/media journalist for the movie during the boxing scenes.  I got paid and also got to personally meet 50 Cent, while being in the vicinity of Jake Gyllenhaal and Rachel McAdams.

Anyone who has worked on a movie set knows that they are long days, usually between 10-14 hours of work, with a lot of chill time in between shooting scenes.  It’s not for everyone, but I loved it.

I had my first taste of what being on the set of a feature film was like.  It was exhilarating.

I had met another actor on set who told me about an agency he was with in Pittsburgh who frequently sent out casting notices, so I got involved with them after working in this film.

They helped me get into two more huge movies and two tv shows.

The movies were: Concussion & Love The Coopers.

I played a NFL Employee in the movie Concussion and a Diner Patron in Love the Coopers.

The TV shows were: Banshee & Mindhunter.

I played an amish protestor as well as a news reporter in the show Banshee (did multiple episodes), and I played a police officer in Mindhunter.

I recently got into a commercial & a paid student film that I will talk about shortly.

Each set is a unique and wonderful experience.  There is no set that is exactly like the next, which makes acting exciting.  It’s also fun when you get to meet some pretty famous people and work with them.

While I was working as a police officer on the set of Mindhunter (which is on Netflix), I was able to meet and shake the hand of David Fincher, the director who also directed Fight Club, Se7en, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Social Network, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and many more.

David Fincher was awesome.  Everyone respected him on the set and he directed with a confident and knowing vision.  I was also able to talk a bunch with the two main characters, Jonathan Groff and Holt McCallany.  They both were very nice to everyone on set and I could tell they were having fun while being serious about their work.

The food on big sets is also delicious.

Anyway, that all began in 2014 during the filming of Southpaw, which aired the next year in 2015.

2018

The year is now 2018.  I moved to Colorado in 2017 and landed an Acting Teacher job in my fifth month of living here.  I was a full time teacher in PA before coming to CO & substitute teaching every day.  I have a local agent, I filmed a real estate commercial in January that is now airing locally, and did a paid student film this past November which I had a blast doing!  That crew was so fun to work with.

I had an audition today, April 4th, that I think went really well, and I have another audition tomorrow.

A long time ago I had a dream of being an actor.  As a child I had a belief that it was possible to become a paid actor, until I grew up and found out that “no-one” becomes an actor.

I’m here to tell you that it’s possible.

Your dream is possible.

Feel free to message me if you have any questions about acting or how to get involved.  If you want to talk about the movies or shows I’ve been in, message me, & I’d love to hear about your acting stories!  Comment below or email me at Kthompson7814@gmail.com.

6 Human Needs; Why all people do what they do

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This post mainly comes from the ideas of the great Tony Robbins while I only add to it.

You are seeking emotions and experiences. After researching experts, I have found that there are six basic, universal needs that drive ALL human behavior. Every human being has these needs, but we each put different VALUE on these needs. Our focus on these needs will determine the direction of our life!  What need will you live for?

The six human needs include:

1) Certainty

2) Significance

3) Variety

4) Love/Connection

5) Growth

6) Contribution

Each of these needs influence every single human being’s life, and by understanding the needs that shape your behavior, you can take control of your life, and create new habits that lead you to the life you’ve been dreaming of living.

What do you think the most addictive thing in the world is???

Find out in a few paragraphs, it’s not what you think.

Before we get more into our human needs, lets look at how DECISIONS shape our destiny, and our decisions of course are intertwined with our needs.

Decision is the ultimate power. Decisions shape destiny.

There are 3 Decisions we are making EVERY moment of our lives:

1) What am I going to focus on?  Focus=feeling.  Past/present/Future…Self or others?

2) What does it(this situation/experience) mean? Is it the end or the beginning?  Are you being punished or rewarded?

3)What are your going to do? Are you going to give up or move forward?

We make these decisions consciously or unconsciously.**

Lance Armstrong for example could have focused on his cancer but he continued to focus on biking and being the best. He continued to win!

Rosa Parks.  Her focus was that she could change the world for her kids or grandkids instead of focusing on what she was told to do.  She wouldn’t go to the back of the bus & she changed the whole world!

Entrepreneur Tony Robbins also has an incredible story.  When he was a eleven years old with a very broke family and no food for Thanksgiving, a stranger came to his house on Thanksgiving to give them a turkey.  Tony’s angry father and himself had VERY different PERSPECTIVES/FOCUSES on this event that went like this:

Tony’s Father: His 3 decisions: Focus was “this is charity” What does it mean “I am worthless” What do I have to do? “Leave my family.” Which he did…

Tony’s focus:  There’s food!  What does it mean? “Strangers care about me and other people.”  What am I going to do?  “I’m going to do something to make a difference.” Six years later he started feeding families when he was 17. Slowly but surely he built a foundation and has fed millions of people all over the world.

Your FOCUS determines much of your life. Try to be intentional and conscious of what you focus on.

& The most addictive thing in the world is….

Most people will guess wrong. The answer is Problems.

**Most people find a way to feel significant by having a significant problem.  Problems are the safest way to connect with others and not be rejected. Problems are the biggest addiction in our culture.

And SiGNIFICANCE is one of the six human needs!!! Think about your life. Do you connect and feel significant through problems? And are you happy with constantly talking about problems or do you want to live a life with less complaining?

***Instead of just looking at peoples’ behaviors, see their attempts to meet their needs.***

A few insights into the 6 human needs:

1) Certainty

  • People like to be certain, to have financial security, to trust people and experiences. But too much certainty makes us bored, so we need some variety.

2) Variety

  • People like good surprises, if it’s a bad surprise they call it a problem.

3) Significance

  • We all need to feel important, special, unique..People do this in so many different ways-tattoos, religion, joining a group..etc..One of the quickest way some people feel significant is through Violence. Violent things happen each day, just watch the news; these people have a striving for significance, as well as some big mental problems..I encourage you to be significant in a positive way.  Join some great groups, read, write, travel.

4) What we really need is Connection & Love

  • Connection and love are like rain to a garden of flowers, they make us grow.  Surround yourself with people who support and love you. I am so thankful for my family because of their love. Also if you are feeling down and depressed, get a pet. Dogs will love you and are always happy to see you.  Cats are different, but they can show love to their owners as well.

Every human finds a way to meet the first 4 needs. What will your FOCUS be to meet these needs???

The next two needs create fulfillment!

5) Growth

If you don’t grow, you die. Relationships, businesses, self, etc.

  • We grow when we have something to give of value. So don’t always be thinking of yourself..I know it’s hard, but try to get out of yourself for awhile & see what you can give to others that can help them. EVERYONE has something great to contribute, but it can be very difficult to find it. Start by donating food or clothes, or doing something small for someone. It feels amazing and will help you grow. It’s funny how a selfless act will ultimately help you too.

6) To Contribute beyond ourselves

  • Growth and Contribution are intertwined. You grow by contributing.  Contribution=growth.

“The secret of living is giving.”

“It’s not about me, it’s about we.” Tony Robbins

People truly get excited to contribute once they experience it and not just talk about it.

We ALL have the same needs, but whatever need leads us will lead us to our destination.

People all try to meet the same needs, but we do it in different ways. A firefighter saves lives for significance while someone else kills a person for significance.

Try to appreciate how people are attempting to meet their needs, explore your decisions, and give.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO FOCUS ON?

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?