Action > Chatter

Do you ever get carried away in thinking about what other people are doing?

I don’t do that, but! – I’ve found out that a lot of people actually spend their entire lives watching & talking about other people, while never living their own life.

What a life!! haha…

But I’m not actually laughing…

This article is a reminder to myself to — Although others are living their lives watching & talking about other people, To NOT be one of them on the sidelines watching & chatting, but to actually BE in the game.

Be Live. Be in the Action & Create while everyone else is on the sidelines watching & talking about you & I, The Creators. The ones who choose to live & live fully.

So, let people talk. It’s what people do best! Let them watch us as we continue taking action, creating, playing, living.

Act With Purpose

“Do external things distract you? Then make time for yourself to learn something worthwhile; stop letting yourself be pulled in all directions. But make sure you guard against the other kind of confusion. People who labor all their lives but have no purpose to direct every thought and impulse toward are wasting their time—even when hard at work.”
—Marcus Aurelius

______________________________

What purpose are you living for?

Here is A 3-Step Process to Begin Creating YOUR Life

More helpful resources:

Set long-term goals & Focus

& Then Stop Looking Back & Live Life Like You’re Driving

17 Marcus Aurelius Quotes On Dealing with Other People

1) “Don’t pay attention to other people’s minds. Look straight ahead, where nature is leading you, through the things that happen to you through your own actions.”

2) “When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and unfriendly.  They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil.”

3) “Welcoming wholeheartedly whatever comes- whatever were assigned—not worrying too often, or with any selfish motive, about what other people say. Or do, or think.”

4) “Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people—unless it affects the common good.  It will keep you from doing anything useful.  You’ll be too preoccupied with what so-and-so is doing, and why, and what they’re saying, and what they’re thinking, and what they’re up to, and all the other things that throw you off and keep you from focusing on your own mind.”

5) “God did not intend my happiness to rest with someone else.”

6) “You want praise from people who kick themselves every 15 minutes, the approval of people who despise themselves…..why do you want approval from people who don’t know where or who they are on this planet?”

7) “The tranquility that comes when you stop caring what they say. Or think, or do.  Only what you do. Asking yourself: Is this fair?  Is this the right thing to do?”

8) “So other people hurt me? That’s their problem. Their character and actions are not mine.”

9) “So remember this principle when someone threatens to cause you pain: the thing itself was no misfortune at all; to endure it and prevail is great good fortune.”

10) “That to expect bad people not to injure others is crazy. It’s to ask the impossible. And to let them behave like that to other people but expect them to exempt you is arrogant—the act of a tyrant.”

11) “If they’ve injured you, then they’re the ones who suffer for it.”

12) “Other people’s mistakes? Leave them to their makers.”

13) “If anyone can refute me-show me I’m making a mistake or looking at things from the wrong perspective— I’ll gladly change. It’s the truth I’m after, and the truth never harmed anyone. What harms us is to persist in self-deceit and ignorance.”

14) “Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?”

15) “Don’t be put off by other people’s comments and criticism.”

16) “Not to be distracted by their darkness.  To run straight for the finish line, unswerving.”

17) A straightforward honest person should be like someone who stinks: when you’re in the same room with him, you know it.  But false straightforwardness is like a knife in the back. False friendship is the worst.  Avoid it at all costs. If you’re honest and straightforward and mean well, it should show in your eyes. It should be unmistakable.”

Compare Less. Do more

Sometimes I scroll through social media and find myself comparing myself to famous people who seem to have “made it.”

Yes they have made it to where they are, and that’s perfect, but that’s not where our focus should be.

My focus, your focus, our focus, should remain upon our own lives, our own goals, our own dreams.

When you stop comparing and start focusing and working on improving your own life, life improves. 

It takes time, but it’s worth it.

“Stay in your lane. Comparison kills creativity and joy.”
-Brene Brown

Stay Focused

This world is filled with distractions of all sorts. 

Like a dresser with drawers waiting to be drawn; opened & dove into like a pool…People swim in distractions. Sometimes all day. Sometimes all their lives. 

Which drawer are you choosing? 

Your intentional choices make a difference. (So do your unintentional choices.)

“Don’t pay attention to other people’s minds. Look straight ahead, where nature is leading you, through the things that happen to you through your own actions.”
-Marcus Aurelius

30 Marcus Aurelius Quotes on Other People and Why You Should Focus on Yourself

1) “Don’t pay attention to other people’s minds. Look straight ahead, where nature is leading you, through the things that happen to you through your own actions.”

2) “When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and unfriendly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil.”

3) “Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?”

4) “God did not intend my happiness to rest with someone else.”

5) “Welcoming wholeheartedly whatever comes- whatever were assigned—not worrying too often, or with any selfish motive, about what other people say, or do, or think.”

6) “Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people—unless it affects the common good.  It will keep you from doing anything useful.  You’ll be too preoccupied with what so-and-so is doing, and why, and what they’re saying, and what they’re thinking, and what they’re up to, and all the other things that throw you off and keep you from focusing on your own mind.”

7) “You want praise from people who kick themselves every 15 minutes, the approval of people who despise themselves…why do you want approval from people who don’t know where or who they are on this planet?”

8) “The tranquility that comes when you stop caring what they say, or think, or do. Only what you do. Asking yourself: Is this fair? Is this the right thing to do?”

9) “Why do unskilled and untrained souls disturb souls with skill and understanding?”

10) “So other people hurt me? That’s their problem. Their character and actions are not mine.”

11) “So remember this principle when someone threatens to cause you pain: the thing itself was no misfortune at all; to endure it and prevail is great good fortune.”

12) “When someone seems to have injured you: ‘But how can I be sure?’ And in any case, keep in mind: —That he’s already been tried and convicted-by himself, like scratching your own eyes out.—That to expect a bad person not to harm others is like expecting fig trees not to secrete juice, babies not to cry, horses not to neigh—the inevitable not to happen.”

13) “When people injure you, ask yourself what good or harm they thought would come of it. If you understand that, you’ll feel sympathy rather than outrage or anger.”

14) “If they’ve injured you, then they’re the ones who suffer for it.”

15) “People do things that upset you, but it can’t harm your mind. People do boorish things, what’s strange or unheard of about that?? Isn’t it yourself you should reproach—for not anticipating that they’d act this way??—It was you who did wrong by assuming that someone with those traits deserved your trust.”

16) “Other people’s mistakes? Leave them to their makers.”

17) “Leave other peoples mistakes where they lie.”

18) “If anyone can refute me-show me I’m making a mistake or looking at things from the wrong perspective—I’ll gladly change. It’s the truth I’m after, and the truth never harmed anyone. What harms us is to persist in self-deceit and ignorance.”

19) “People out for posthumous fame forget that the Generations To Come will be the same annoying people they know now. And just as mortal. What does it matter to you if they say x about you, or think y?”

20) “When faced with people’s bad behavior, turn around and ask when you have acted like that. When you saw money as good, or pleasure, or social position. Your anger will subside as soon as you recognize that they acted under compulsion.”

21) “If someone despises me—that’s their problem. Mine—not to do or say anything despicable. If someone hates me—that’s their problem. Mine—to be patient and cheerful with everyone, including them. Ready to show them their mistake. Not spitefully, or to show off my own self-control, but in an honest, upright way. That’s the way we should be like inside, and never let the gods catch us feeling anger or resentment.”

22) “That kindness is invincible, provided it’s sincere—not ironic or an act. What can even the most vicious person do if you keep treating him with kindness and gently set him straight—if you get the chance—correcting him cheerfully at the exact moment that he’s trying to do you harm..
‘No, no my friend. That isn’t what we’re here for. It isn’t me who’s harmed by that. It’s you.’ And show him gently without pointing fingers that it’s so.”

23) “That it’s not what they do that bothers us: that’s a problem for their minds, not ours. It’s our own misperceptions. Discard them. Be willing to give up thinking of this as a catastrophe…and your anger is gone. How do you do that? By recognizing that you’ve suffered no disgrace.”

24) “That you don’t know for sure it is a mistake. A lot of things are means to some other end. You have to know an awful lot before you can judge other people’s actions with real understanding.”

25) “It never ceases to amaze me: We all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.”

26) “The despicable phoniness of people who say, ‘listen, I’m going to level with you here.’ What does that mean?? It shouldn’t even need to be said. It should be obvious—written in block letters on your forehead. It should be audible in your voice, visible in your eyes, like a lover who looks into your face, and takes in the whole story at a glance. A straightforward honest person should be like someone who stinks: when you’re in the same room with him, you know it.  But false straightforwardness is like a knife in the back. False friendship is the worst. Avoid it at all costs. If you’re honest and straightforward and mean well, it should show in your eyes. It should be unmistakable.”

27) “Or is it your reputation thats bothering you? But look at how soon we’re all forgotten. The abyss of endless time that swallows it all. The emptiness of all those applauding hands. The people who praise us-how capricious they are, how arbitrary. And the tiny region in which it all takes place. The whole earth a point in space-and most of it uninhabited.”

28) “To live life in peace, immune to all compulsion…Let them scream whatever they want.”

29) “Not to be distracted by their darkness.  To run straight for the finish line, unswerving.”

30) “Don’t be put off by other people’s comments and criticism.”

Why It’s ESSENTIAL for you to Define Success

Why is it important for you to define success?

  1. It will determine everything you do
  2. Everything you do determines the quality of your future
  3. Your future always comes in the form of ‘today’

Defining success gives you an anchor to what is true to you. It helps you stay focused and puts you on a path toward your success.


“Where focus goes, energy flows.”

Tony Robbins

The term “success” has often been related to having a lot of money, but a more accurate definition of success comes from Oxford Dictionary: “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.”

If success is the accomplishment of an aim or purpose then success must mean something different to each person.

Maybe success to one person is taking care of their needs while success to someone else is earning $1,000,000 dollars.

The person who defines success as taking care of their needs prioritizes that first in their life, whereas the person who wants to make $1,000,000 dollars may prioritize making money first. Someone who sees success as balancing work with passion will prioritize work with their passion, but in all scenarios each person is guided by what success means to them.

So instead of debating the question “what is real success?” Ask yourself “what does success mean to me?”

When you know what success is for you you automatically put yourself on a path toward that success, but there are distractions all around us. If you don’t have an anchor of what success means to you, to focus on, you’ll get pushed and pulled and never achieve success. Some people spend their entire lives wandering around this Earth questioning why they were never able to achieve success.

Don’t let that be you.

Write down what success means to you on a notecard.
Put it somewhere that you’ll be able to see it everyday.
Let your definition of success guide you to it.

Stop Waiting. Start Doing.

Dr. Seuss’s poem on The Waiting Place accurately describes the mentality of many people, including myself as I often live with anticipation, ‘waiting’ for something…

“You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place… 

…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go

or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.

Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a sting of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.

Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That’s not for you!

Somehow you’ll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You’ll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing…”

Can you relate to the poem?
How often do you find yourself waiting?

You CAN find bright places by shifting your focus, but it’s easier said than done.

ASKING QUESTIONS is a way of shifting your mentality and can be helpful in getting out of “The Waiting Place.”

“Problems that remain persistently insoluble should always be suspected as questions asked in the wrong way.”
Alan Watts

One of the most practical series of questions, with an example, you can ask yourself to wait less, be more productive, and enjoy life more is: 

1) “What am I waiting for?”

Example – “Retirement so that I can enjoy life.”

Then Ask:

2) “What can I do instead of waiting?”

“Instead of waiting for retirement to begin enjoying life I can pursue interests and hobbies in my free time and who knows, maybe I’ll get paid to do something I love.”

Or Ask:

3) “What can I do while I wait?”

“While I wait for retirement I can begin thinking and planning things I want to do when I retire. Maybe I can even add some of these activities throughout the work week now.”

This series of questions can be used to relieve your waiting in any situation.

Asking yourself the right questions helps shift your perspective.

When you ask yourself negative questions you get negative answers, like “Why do bad things keep happening to me?” Even if you involuntarily ask that question your brain will subconsciously look for answers.

When you ask yourself questions that focus more on solving problems you have you will solve your problems and/or at least cultivate a forward-thinking perspective.

Read more on the power of questions here.

“…With banner flip-flapping,
once more you’ll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you’re that kind of a guy! (or girl)

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. There are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-best winner of all.”
Dr. Suess
(Continued from “The Waiting Place” poem above.)

So are you ready to live a life with less waiting?
More joy, and more action, more love, and less hating?

^I was feeling inspired by Dr. Suess.

I hope you have an awesome day and continue to ask yourself innovative, problem-solving questions!

Achieve Goals with Focus

My to-do list grows bigger and I start taking less action…

Am I the only one who gets distracted with all the “to-dos” and end up not getting anything done?

Sometimes I want to complete so many things that I end up completing nothing or going halfway on a task. This is when I remind myself to do less and Focus.

We are bombarded with numerous options every day of our lives. It can seem nice to have options but often the more options we have the more distracted we become.

So I ask myself, “What is a long-term goal I have and what do I need to do next to achieve it?”

I like this question but sometimes a clear answer doesn’t come to mind when I ask this. This is when Focus comes into play again.

At this point I think about a few things I could do to achieve my long-term goal. I might not be 100% sure about what to do but I choose an action whether it’s to write a blog post, create a video, work on social media, etc.

I follow one course until successful. I do it until it’s complete. And then I ask myself again, “What is a long-term goal I have and what do I need to do next to achieve it?”

What’s a long-term goal you have?

What actions are you taking to achieve it?

It’s okay to not know

I was in my senior year of high school when I was asked for the millionth time by another “adult:” “What are you going to major in?”

I had no idea. Later that evening I was talking to my dad & I asked him what he thought I should major in. I’m sure he gave me some ideas but what I vividly remember from that conversation is him telling me that it’s also okay if I don’t know right now.

“It’s okay to not know.”

That answer seemed somewhat surprising after numerous teachers & “adults” spoke of how important it was to know what you were going to major in.

This advice gave me a huge sense of relief and I still use it today in a number of situations.

I went into college with no major, undeclared, for my first 2 years, then I actually had to decide.

I chose based off of what my interests were, not off of what would make me the most money, and I am happy with my choices. I have a degree in Sport Management, a minor in Business, and a Masters of Education degree.

coacht.blog college degree

I wasn’t worried about the future when I entered college undeclared.

“Know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.”
Mary Schmich

My focus was on the day at hand. My focus was to live life to the fullest while completing everything needed to graduate.

I knew that it was okay to not try to know exactly how my future would pan out, but to trust it would turn out well, and I took actions based on that faith, like this quote from Alan Watts:

 “To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don’t grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float.” 

But it can be easy to get caught up in worrying about the countless tasks you need to complete. I do that sometimes, but when I know I’m worrying I remind myself to focus on what I can do to return to peace of mind. 

Worry can be a motivator to get things done, but it can be a cage as well. Uncertainty lives with all of us, every single day. It’s always there, like gravity. How will you deal with it?

“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty that you can comfortably live with.”
Tony Robbins

So it’s completely okay to not know.

“The only thing I know is that I know nothing.”
Socrates

But what happens when you really want to know?

You want to know the answer.
You want to know what to do.
You want to know what will happen.

You want certainty in uncertain things and there are ways to create some certainty during uncertain times.

There are ways to create some certainty during uncertain times.

One way is to dwell in the idea that life is working out in everyone’s best interest, even during down times. And if you’re constantly hating your job then that could be life telling you to quit & find work that you enjoy.

—The second way is to focus on making progress.
If you really want to “grab life by the horns” and take control of your life, progress is key. You might feel stuck at a job you hate or lost in what you think you should do.

How can you make progress?

—Begin by asking yourself “what does my ideal life look like?”

Think about ideals in a variety of aspects in your life: Financial, relationships, career, hobbies, environment, etc.

This is the time to let go of any limiting beliefs you have and raise your standards. 

Even if you don’t believe you can have your ideal life just pretend for a moment and think about what it would look like.

—Know your “why.”

Why do you want your ideal life? Think about all your reasons. It could be for your happiness, to provide for your family, to start a charity, to buy a new car, etc.

—Take Action

Begin taking action toward your ideal life. Your reasons for making it happen will grow stronger from here.

Uncertainty surrounds us every day.

How will you make the most of it?

Quotes!

“The root of suffering is resisting the certainty that no matter what the circumstances, uncertainty is all we truly have.”
 Pema Chödrön

“We absolutely must leave room for doubt or there is no progress and there is no learning. There is no learning without having to pose a question. And a question requires doubt. People search for certainty. But there is no certainty. People are terrified — how can you live and not know? It is not odd at all. You only think you know, as a matter of fact. And most of your actions are based on incomplete knowledge and you really don’t know what it is all about, or what the purpose of the world is, or know a great deal of other things. It is possible to live and not know.”
Richard Feynman

“There are many things of which we are completely unaware—in fact, there are things of which we are so unaware, we don’t even know we are unaware of them.”
Donald Rumsfeld

“Suspecting and knowing are not the same.”
Rick Riordan

“People don’t know that they don’t know. Remember that before you hold it against them.”
Akiroq Brost

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.”
Gilda Radner

“A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.”
William Shakespeare

“Everything you’ve learned in school as “obvious” becomes less and less obvious as you begin to study the universe. For example, there are no solids in the universe. There’s not even a suggestion of a solid. There are no absolute continuums. There are no surfaces. There are no straight lines.”
Richard Buckminster Fuller

“Beyond all sciences, philosophies, theologies, and histories, a child’s relentless inquiry is truly all it takes to remind us that we don’t know as much as we think we know.”
Criss Jami