It’s okay to feel bad

And it’s okay to feel good.  

How long have we had this idea in America that everyone should be happy all the time?

The media portrays smiling families, good times, and happy endings, but that isn’t always the case.

happy people
How people think they should be.
unhappy_customers
How people think they shouldn’t be.

 

You don’t need to be happy all the time To Live A Great Life.

Does your Instagram look like the picture on the top left?

Oftentimes we look at someone who is upset and think “Oh there must be something wrong with them.”  Why do we think something has to be wrong?  Maybe it’s okay for them to feel bad.  It’s okay for them to feel what they feel.  When we allow our feelings to come and don’t try to force them to leave, they will leave on their own.  When we try to control our emotions, they multiply.

You are not alone in your struggles.  Basically everyone at one point or another in their lifetime will experience depression, anxiety, OCD etc.

Check out this list of some of the greats who have dealt with depression and in some cases suicide:

Vincent Van Gogh, Ernest Hemingway, Ludwig Wan Beethoven, Pablo Picasso, Edgar Allen Poe, Abraham Lincoln, Isaac Newton, Friedrich Nietzsche, George Orwell, Robin Williams, Jim Carrey, Kurt Cobain, Ellen Degeneres, Johnny Depp, Eminem, Chris Evans, Jon Hamm, Angelina Jolie, Lady Gaga, Michael Phelps, Brad Pitt, J.K. Rowling, Channing Tatum, Owen Wilson, and many others.

Robin-Williams-Quotes-Good-Will-Hunting-1

So we can be there to support others and to support ourselves because everyone is going through something, and that’s okay.  We need to remember that everyone suffers in life, and the meaning we give our suffering can make our lives better or worse.

“You don’t need to feel great to act great.” Coach T

So how can we gain Peace of Mind through this idea of accepting our feelings as they are?

“Don’t look for peace. Don’t look for any other state than the one you are in now; otherwise, you will set up inner conflict and unconscious resistance. Forgive yourself for not being at peace. The moment you completely accept your non-peace, your non-peace becomes transmuted into peace. Anything you accept fully will get you there, will take you into peace. This is the miracle of surrender.” Eckhart Tolle

Echart Tolle

A Study…

Psychologists at the University of California Berkeley have researched and tested the idea of accepting negative emotions and have found that “people who habitually accept their negative emotions experience fewer negative emotions, which adds up to better psychological health.”

See their article Here

These psychologists have also stated that acceptance and self-compassion are two key habits to happiness.

“People who accept their emotions without judging or trying to change them are able to cope with their stress more successfully.”

My Experience

There have been multiple times where I’ve experienced overwhelming feelings.  Over time I’ve learned that I can sit and dwell in these feelings or I can try to move on.  Sometimes these feelings come back to me, but I now work on accepting them as they are.  I allow myself to feel what I’m feeling, and then let the emotions go away in their time.

I remind myself that these feelings are temporary.  They will pass, and it will be okay.  With each new day comes a choice to suppress our emotions, or to allow them to come and then go.

Smiling helps, just look in the mirror and smile.  It’s funny, I know.  Try it for a few minutes and see what happens.

I Exercise.  This is something that is known to boost endorphins which trigger a positive feeling in the body.

Or you can take some time to just breathe.  Listen to your breath, just your breath.  Find a comfortable place, let go of the wandering mind and breathe.  Listening to your breath allows you to get back to this moment, here, now.  Try that for five minutes just to see how often your mind wanders.

I am not perfect at this craft, but I enjoy the practice and think you will too!

Peace-of-Mind

Conclusion:

It’s okay to think & feel happy, sad, depressed, anxious, joyous, all the emotions.

Remember that feelings are temporary; they will pass, but your actions will last.

Try to be conscious of how you are thinking and feeling when you are down, and don’t allow yourself to just dwell on auto-pilot in negative feelings.  Feel what you feel, accept what you’re feeling and thinking, even wave to your feelings if you’d like, and then watch them go like cars passing by.

Peace of Mind is not just a state of relaxation.

Peace of Mind isn’t about feeling a certain way.  

It’s about feeling the way you feel.

 

Feeling how you feel is the greatest happiness of all.

“You can’t stop the waves (of emotions) but you can learn to surf.”

Above all, it’s about letting the mind be as it is and knowing something about how it is in this moment.  It’s not about getting somewhere else, but about allowing yourself to be where you already are. — Jon Kabat-Zin

 

Thanks for reading!  Please share your thoughts in the comments:

 

20 thoughts on “It’s okay to feel bad

  1. Great post! It all boils down to accepting our weaknesses and dealing with our pain. ”Feel the feels.”

    Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re welcome!

        Like

  2. Great post. Felt good and positive reading this.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. I’m glad to hear 🙂

      Like

  3. Love what you’re bringing! Thanks for the difference you make!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Excellent, thought provoking post. I think it’s great to talk about negative emotions and break down the stigma surrounding them – life isn’t perfect, but you can always try to make lemonade from lemons.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you! I agree it is very important to talk about these ‘taboo’ subjects & break down the stigmas.

      Like

  5. Nice post and good references. Mindfulness enables us to be present with our emotions without thinking they define us or are “conditions” that need to be cured. As we are comfortable and accepting of all emotions, we gain access to the information they contain about how we are looking at life. This awareness gives us insight to choose what we focus on and how we relate to it.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Okay, I like your thoughts on human emotions. The conveyed message of making mindful choices regardless of how one feels is an over looked concept that needs constant reinforcement in today’s society.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, & definitely! I hope this idea can spread so that people know it’s okay.

      Like

  7. I found the conveyed message of making mindful choices regardless of how one feels is an over looked concept that needs constant reinforcement in today’s society.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I’m so glad I stumbled upon you on Twitter at the perfect time 🙂
    Which led me to read your blog…and it made me feel totally better….We all have our good days and bad days….I try to focus on the positive things in my life. And always be grateful…Because I sure know there are many that have a lot worse problems than I do. 🙏
    Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m very happy to hear this 🙂 I agree 100% with focusing on the positive! We all have so much more than we think we do.

      Liked by 1 person

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