“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.”
How often do you think about other people?
…Giving your attention to what so and so did or said.
I know I have struggled in giving my attention to others, comparing my life to theirs at times. I haven’t conquered this skill fully but below you will find ideas & resources that have helped me and can help you come closer to focusing on YOUR life.
“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
It’s tough to only focus on what you are doing and saying, especially in this social media driven world that praises competition.
“The tranquility that comes when you stop caring what they say. Or think, or do. Only what you do. Asking yourself: Is this fair? Is this the right thing to do?”
Social media has become so popular that people can spend mindless hours scrolling through. There are some positive to social media but often, mindless scrolling, which is usually comparing your life to the lives of others, can result in depression & loneliness.
Here is an article discussing research showing how using social media increases depression & loneliness.
One quick fix to this problem is to delete any channels or feeds that make you feel bad about yourself.
Remove those accounts!!!
And if you wonder, “what will so & so think if I post this?” DELETE them!!
“About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won’t like you at all.”
Rita Mae Brown
When you’re comparing yourself to someone else you are probably comparing in one of these two ways:
1) Comparing your worst to someone’s best.
2) Comparing your best to someone’s worst.
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
Comparing the beginning of a pursuit you have to someone who has already found success in that area is a sure way to fail.
Remind yourself that people put their best moments on social media. You rarely or never see social media accounts of the other 70-90% of that person’s life. It’s not always as good as it appears.
Many people also compare their highlight reel to others’ worst moments.
Remember, no one is perfect. You’ve heard it before and you know it but you might struggle with perfectionism.
Learn how to love your flaws & feel better by checking out The Myth of Perfection article here.
There will ALWAYS be someone you can compare yourself to that you will say is better than you, and will ALWAYS be someone you can compare yourself to that you will say you are better than.
Neither are true.
“Stay in your lane. Comparison kills creativity and joy.”
Some techniques to help you stop comparing yourself to others:
—Bring your focus back to your life by thinking about 5 things you are grateful for today.
—Think about what YOUR strengths are.
—Don’t criticize others.
—Let the success of others inspire you.
—Learn to live and love with your imperfections.
—Love yourself. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a real best friend.
“I used to be afraid when people used to say ‘oh she’s so full of herself.’ And now I embrace it. I consider it a compliment that I am full of myself. Because only when you’re full, I’m full, I’m overflowing. My cup runneth over. I have so much to offer and so much to give and I am not afraid of honoring myself.”
There have been studies regarding the regrets of people on their deathbeds. One of the top 5 regrets they have is that they wished they lived a life true to themselves instead of what other people expected. Find that study here, as well as 3 things to do to live a life you won’t regret in 30 years.
One reason why people don’t live a life true to themselves is because they compare their lives’ to another’s life, focusing on other people and not themselves.
You just can’t live YOUR life when you attention is constantly focused on ANOTHER.
It is difficult though. If it were easy everyone would do it.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson.
^^It was true in the 1800’s and it’s still true today.
Many people claim to be living their own life but if you look at their lives you will see how much they crave fitting in.
“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”
If you are reading this then you most likely want to live a life without comparisons, staying true to yourself.
I hope you have found something here that will inspire you to live a life without comparisons.
Here are a few extra quotes on the subject of comparison:
“Don’t compare your life to others. There’s no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it’s their time.” Anonymous
“Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else.” Judy Garland
“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.” Lao Tzu
“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” Ru Paul
“I will not reason and compare: my business is to create.” William Blake
“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.” Shannon L. Alder
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” Marilyn Monroe
“Our time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” Steve Jobs
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.” Brene Brown
“Don’t be into trends. Don’t make fashion own you, but you decide what you are, what you want to express by the way you dress and the way to live.” Gianni Versace
“Don’t waste your energy trying to change opinions…do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.” Tina Fey
“To love is to stop comparing.” Bernard Grasset
“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.” Steve Maraboli
“Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people—unless it affects the common good. It will keep you from doing anything useful. You’ll be too preoccupied with what so-and-so is doing, and why, and what they’re saying, and what they’re thinking, and what they’re up to, and all the other things that throw you off and keep you from focusing on your own mind.”
Find more ideas & quotes in this article, “Dealing with Others’ Opinions & Actions.”
Seize the day.
Get out there & live YOUR life!