What’s Normal for the Spider is Chaos for the Fly

Nothing and no one is “normal”.

There are solely commonalities labeled as normal, and rarities labeled as abnormal, in relation to YOUR experiences...

Spiders build webs to catch flies and other bugs. Flies eat poop, fly around, and many get caught in spiders’ webs, which results in the fly’s death and a spider’s meal. It’s chaos for the fly, but extremely common for the spider.

The same notion can relate to humans – what’s normal for one human would be chaos for another. 

For example, say JonJo grows up in a loving household where arguments almost never happen. JonJo goes over to his friend Willis’s house where Willis’s parents argue on the daily — this causes JonJo discomfort because it’s not what he is used to; this is chaos for JonJo, but it’s predictable for Willis.

Another example is in regards to the food we eat. Let’s say JonJo grew up in a household that eats a variety of foods, including all sorts of meats. Willis, on the other hand, grew up in a house that doesn’t eat meat, except for dog on occasion, as dog is a popular food in some countries. JonJo may see eating dog as chaos where Willis doesn’t, and I’m sure the dog sees it as chaos.

The main takeaway from this idea is that every“one” and every“thing” is trying to do things that are normal to them. “Normal” is a predisposition – it’s a concept that has been uniquely formed in each person as a result of the environment they grew up in and the experiences they have had.

This also relates to societal standards throughout time. What was once accepted as normal is now considered chaos, and some things that were considered chaos are now seen as normal. It usually depends on who is judging the experience, but there is an elusive objective perspective.

There is no such thing as “normal”.
There’s solely what is normal for you.

You are the spider AND the fly…
It just depends on who is doing the interpreting.

Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?

What if what we thought about an event wasn’t always the best way of looking at it?

Many of us label our experiences and situations as “good,” or “bad,” and many other things.

This perspective limits us from living our best lives.

As a culture we have seemed to judge events as good or bad (luck), but sometimes when we think something “bad” has happened, it is good in disguise.  And sometimes when we think something “good” has happened, it is bad in disguise.

There’s an ancient proverb that elaborates this concept:

There was a farmer who had a beautiful strong horse that was used to plow his fields.

chinese-painting-ancient-chinese-farmer-working-his-horse-47594210

One day, the horse escaped, and the farmer’s neighbors came to the man sympathizing about his bad luck.  The farmer replied, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?”

A few days later the horse returned with a herd of stallions.  This time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck.  He replied with, “Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?”

The next week when the farmer’s son was trying to tame one of the stallions, he fell off the horse and broke his leg. “What bad luck,” the neighbors told the farmer.  “Bad luck? Good luck?  Who knows?” Said the farmer.

A few days later an army came into the village, forcing every able-bodied youth to join them.  When they saw the farmer’s son with his broken leg, they didn’t bother to take him with them.

Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?

I’m sure you can think of a time when something bad happened but it turned out to help you in the end.  Was it good luck or bad luck?

We can’t always know the reason behind an event, so it’s important to keep a neutral attitude..

..To observe the events in our life without judging them, without drawing conclusions about them…This can bring about great peace of mind.

Great leaders understand this concept and are able to remain calm, trust life and themselves, take appropriate action, generate acceptance, and have a flexible attitude.

So the next time you’re in a situation that you label as “good” or “bad” I encourage you to ask yourself, “Good luck?” “Bad luck?” Who knows…

Thank you for reading!

Here’s another post that may also help you enable a different perspective: Question your Certainty