It’s okay to not know

I was in my senior year of high school when I was asked for the millionth time by another “adult:” “What are you going to major in?”

I had no idea. Later that evening I was talking to my dad & I asked him what he thought I should major in. I’m sure he gave me some ideas but what I vividly remember from that conversation is him telling me that it’s also okay if I don’t know right now.

“It’s okay to not know.”

That answer seemed somewhat surprising after numerous teachers & “adults” spoke of how important it was to know what you were going to major in.

This advice gave me a huge sense of relief and I still use it today in a number of situations.

I went into college with no major, undeclared, for my first 2 years, then I actually had to decide.

I chose based off of what my interests were, not off of what would make me the most money, and I am happy with my choices. I have a degree in Sport Management, a minor in Business, and a Masters of Education degree.

coacht.blog college degree

I wasn’t worried about the future when I entered college undeclared.

“Know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.”
Mary Schmich

My focus was on the day at hand. My focus was to live life to the fullest while completing everything needed to graduate.

I knew that it was okay to not try to know exactly how my future would pan out, but to trust it would turn out well, and I took actions based on that faith, like this quote from Alan Watts:

 “To have faith is to trust yourself to the water. When you swim you don’t grab hold of the water, because if you do you will sink and drown. Instead you relax, and float.” 

But it can be easy to get caught up in worrying about the countless tasks you need to complete. I do that sometimes, but when I know I’m worrying I remind myself to focus on what I can do to return to peace of mind. 

Worry can be a motivator to get things done, but it can be a cage as well. Uncertainty lives with all of us, every single day. It’s always there, like gravity. How will you deal with it?

“The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty that you can comfortably live with.”
Tony Robbins

So it’s completely okay to not know.

“The only thing I know is that I know nothing.”
Socrates

But what happens when you really want to know?

You want to know the answer.
You want to know what to do.
You want to know what will happen.

You want certainty in uncertain things and there are ways to create some certainty during uncertain times.

There are ways to create some certainty during uncertain times.

One way is to dwell in the idea that life is working out in everyone’s best interest, even during down times. And if you’re constantly hating your job then that could be life telling you to quit & find work that you enjoy.

—The second way is to focus on making progress.
If you really want to “grab life by the horns” and take control of your life, progress is key. You might feel stuck at a job you hate or lost in what you think you should do.

How can you make progress?

—Begin by asking yourself “what does my ideal life look like?”

Think about ideals in a variety of aspects in your life: Financial, relationships, career, hobbies, environment, etc.

This is the time to let go of any limiting beliefs you have and raise your standards. 

Even if you don’t believe you can have your ideal life just pretend for a moment and think about what it would look like.

—Know your “why.”

Why do you want your ideal life? Think about all your reasons. It could be for your happiness, to provide for your family, to start a charity, to buy a new car, etc.

—Take Action

Begin taking action toward your ideal life. Your reasons for making it happen will grow stronger from here.

Uncertainty surrounds us every day.

How will you make the most of it?

Quotes!

“The root of suffering is resisting the certainty that no matter what the circumstances, uncertainty is all we truly have.”
 Pema Chödrön

“We absolutely must leave room for doubt or there is no progress and there is no learning. There is no learning without having to pose a question. And a question requires doubt. People search for certainty. But there is no certainty. People are terrified — how can you live and not know? It is not odd at all. You only think you know, as a matter of fact. And most of your actions are based on incomplete knowledge and you really don’t know what it is all about, or what the purpose of the world is, or know a great deal of other things. It is possible to live and not know.”
Richard Feynman

“There are many things of which we are completely unaware—in fact, there are things of which we are so unaware, we don’t even know we are unaware of them.”
Donald Rumsfeld

“Suspecting and knowing are not the same.”
Rick Riordan

“People don’t know that they don’t know. Remember that before you hold it against them.”
Akiroq Brost

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.”
Gilda Radner

“A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.”
William Shakespeare

“Everything you’ve learned in school as “obvious” becomes less and less obvious as you begin to study the universe. For example, there are no solids in the universe. There’s not even a suggestion of a solid. There are no absolute continuums. There are no surfaces. There are no straight lines.”
Richard Buckminster Fuller

“Beyond all sciences, philosophies, theologies, and histories, a child’s relentless inquiry is truly all it takes to remind us that we don’t know as much as we think we know.”
Criss Jami

The Collapse & Renewal of “The System”

Can you feel it?

The tensions rising along with the sea levels.

Awareness rising in the corruption that has contaminated the entire world from micro to macro levels and everything in between.

I know you can feel it. I can too.

We’re coming to a tipping point in the Systems we’ve built throughout the previous centuries.

These Systems can’t last if we want to last as a human race.

The game of Power, Corruption, and Deception are fading, making way for an up to date and well founded System.

Is it difficult to believe that it’s possible to have Systems built on Trust, Cooperation, Shared Success, and Forgiveness that disciplines with love and does not punish mindlessly?

When a baby is learning to walk and they fall, do you punish them?

Do you tell them “You’re no good. You’re never going to be able to walk. Don’t even try it. Go to your crib.”

Or do you lift them up and encourage them, knowing that they will walk one day.

In life, when we humans are learning to “human,” and we make a mistake we are usually punished for it.

There’s no love in punishment so there’s no real growth. I understand if you believe there is love in punishment because that is what recent generations have been raised to believe. But many many studies show how punishment is not working!

Here is an article from Psychology Today discussing the many ways punishment impacts your child, including how punishment does not teach your child accountability. Also 10 ways to guide children without punishment is included in this article.

Here is a Pinterest page sharing many articles on how to love your kids and others unconditionally as well as how to deal with aggressive or inappropriate behavior in others.

I don’t know the full solution but I do know that discipline with love would help.

Is that hard to do? Absolutely.

And it’s easy to punish.

We all know that beautiful things take time to flourish, such as a flower. It needs cared for and nurtured to grow. If we punish the flower by cutting part of it off it will never be able to blossom into the flower it is meant to become.

Of course there will be resistance and some discomfort against the new System, as there is with all fights for justice, but in the end “the arc of the moral universe bends toward justice,” as MLK Jr. once said.

They say if it’s not broken don’t fix it…But we’ve got ourselves a broken System.

I do love my country but don’t you also want a better life for future generations of all backgrounds?

Education. Politics. Athletics. Business. Hollywood. And just about all current Systems have some corruption within them.

You can’t blame them though. That’s just how it’s been. 

But it’s a new day. It’s a new era.

The shame blame game will hopefully come to an end and love with discipline can take its place.

No one is perfect, and until we can fully realize that and change how we deal with all our imperfections and how we treat each other, we just won’t last.

Who am I to write this? Just a flawed fellow human on this journey of life, trying to figure it out.

But we adapt. That’s what we do as humans. Look at history.

Shall we adapt once more?

If you believe in a new System you might also like this relative & unique rap song I recorded in the studio called “Cloud 9”

What methods do you believe would contribute to a more stable and just System?