Hi, this is a comedic adventure short story about Jack In Wonderland.
Chapter 1: The Fungi and the Fool
Jack was not the kind of guy who normally wandered off into the woods behind his apartment building. But a recent breakup, three missed job interviews, and a YouTube rabbit hole about “forest soul healing” pushed him into trying something new.
He stumbled across an old, mossy stump glowing faintly blue in the shade. Resting atop it: a cluster of glimmering, rainbow-speckled mushrooms that looked like they were straight out of a video game. A crudely written sign nearby read:
“Eat One. Trip All. – The Fungi Council”
Jack laughed. “Yeah, okay, why not?”
He plucked the largest one, shrugged, and popped it in his mouth.
Reality wobbled. The trees leaned in and whispered secrets in Latin. A raccoon in a top hat gave Jack a thumbs up. The forest spun, sparkled, and folded in on itself like origami.
Jack passed out smiling.
⸻
Chapter 2: Welcome to Wonderland
When Jack opened his eyes, the sky was purple and the sun was blinking like it had something in its eye.
He stood at the gates of a strange city, its skyline made of spiraling lollipops, floating teacups, and towers shaped like rubber ducks. A sign swung overhead, reading:
Welcome to Wonderland – No Normalcy Allowed.
“Ah, cool,” Jack muttered. “Either I’m high or I finally made it to Burning Man.”
A trumpet blast startled him. From behind a glittering trash can stepped a walrus in suspenders and roller skates. “Oi! Fresh arrival! Name?”
“Jack.”
“Jack! Well, I’m Sir Bubbles von Wobble, and you’re now a Temporary Citizen of Wonderland. Congratulations. Mind the jellyfish crosswalks.”
Sir Bubbles handed him a glowing ID badge and rolled away yelling something about “brunch o’clock.”
Jack wandered into the city, unsure if he was dreaming or had simply discovered the best mushrooms in history.
⸻
Chapter 3: The Rooftop Beanstalk Bar
His first stop: a towering bar that swayed like a palm tree in the wind. The sign read “The Beanstalk Bar – Happy Hour ‘til Gravity Returns.”
Inside, sentient plants served drinks with names like Moon Juice Margarita and Nebula Nog. Jack ordered something called a “Cosmic Elbow” and immediately hiccupped a small galaxy.
“New here?” said a cactus in a tuxedo sitting next to him.
“Just arrived,” Jack replied, trying to catch a falling mini-meteor with his glass.
“You’ll fit in. Just don’t look the Mayor in the eyes. Or do. Depends what species you are.”
The roof opened suddenly, and Jack was launched skyward in a bubble of laughter and tequila. He landed in a giant bird’s nest. Three hipster owls offered him gum and unsolicited life advice.
⸻
Chapter 4: The Forest of Infinite Echoes
Jack wandered out of the city and into a forest where every word spoken bounced back with passive-aggressive commentary.
“Hello?” he called.
“Hello?”
“Could’ve said it nicer.”
“Yeah, rude tone.”
He tiptoed deeper, where he met a snake knitting a sweater and a turtle DJ who only played slow remixes of rave hits. They led him to the Tree of Tangents, which gave confusing life advice in the form of dad jokes.
“Why did the mushroom get invited to the party?” it asked.
“Because he was a fun guy?”
“WRONG. Because reality is malleable, Jack. Open your third nostril.”
Jack sneezed out a rainbow.
⸻
Chapter 5: Apartment 7B and the Disco Pigeons
Wandering back into the city, Jack found himself in front of a boring beige apartment building labeled “The Real World.”
He entered, curious. Inside, the hallways were infinite. Each door opened into something wild: a room of flying sandwiches, an anti-gravity gym, and finally, Apartment 7B, where he met a group of disco pigeons rehearsing a synchronized dance for the annual Sky Party.
“Want in?” cooed their leader, a pigeon named Greg with a golden chain.
Jack joined. He learned the Funky Feather Shuffle, which apparently unlocked a hidden part of the city visible only to those with “soul rhythm.”
They partied until dawn.
⸻
Chapter 6: Stargazing at the End of the World
That night, Jack and his new friends—Greg the disco pigeon, Sir Bubbles, and a shy talking mushroom named Denise—climbed to the top of the Cloud Opera House.
They laid on cotton-candy grass and watched the stars swirl.
But these weren’t normal stars. They rearranged themselves into memes, old movie quotes, and abstract philosophical questions.
One star winked and whispered to Jack, “You’re doing great, sweetie.”
Another asked, “What is soup, really?”
Greg passed around stardust popcorn.
“So… is any of this real?” Jack asked.
Sir Bubbles burped softly. “Does it matter?”
And Jack had to admit—maybe it didn’t.
⸻
Chapter 7: The Way Home (or Not)
Eventually, Jack found himself back at the edge of the forest where he began. A glowing sign blinked:
“EXIT WONDERLAND? Y/N”
Jack hesitated. But his stomach growled (real world burritos had no rivals), and he clicked “Y.”
The sky folded again. Light flashed. He woke up next to the glowing stump, the mushrooms gone, a raccoon now sleeping on his foot.
He checked his pockets: A pigeon feather, a business card for “Denise’s Mushroom Therapy,” and a crumpled napkin that said “Come back anytime, Jack – Wonderland misses you.”
He smiled, stood up, and walked home.
⸻
The End.
(For now.)
With Ken Thompson 