Success | With Ken Thompson

“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.”

Coco Chanel

How often do you think about other people?
…Giving your attention to what so and so did or said.

I know I have struggled in giving my attention to others, comparing my life to theirs at times. I haven’t conquered this skill fully but below you will find ideas & resources that have helped me and can help you come closer to focusing on YOUR life.

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
Marcus Aurelius

It’s tough to only focus on what you are doing and saying, especially in this social media driven world that praises competition.

“The tranquility that comes when you stop caring what they say. Or think, or do. Only what you do. Asking yourself: Is this fair? Is this the right thing to do?”
Marcus Aurelius

Social media has become so popular that people can spend mindless hours scrolling through. There are some positive to social media but often, mindless scrolling, which is usually comparing your life to the lives of others, can result in depression & loneliness.

Here is an article discussing research showing how using social media increases depression & loneliness.

One quick fix to this problem is to delete any channels or feeds that make you feel bad about yourself.

Remove those accounts!!!

And if you wonder, “what will so & so think if I post this?” DELETE them!!

“About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won’t like you at all.”
Rita Mae Brown

When you’re comparing yourself to someone else you are probably comparing in one of these two ways:

1) Comparing your worst to someone’s best.

2) Comparing your best to someone’s worst.

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
Steve Furtick

Comparing the beginning of a pursuit you have to someone who has already found success in that area is a sure way to fail.

Remind yourself that people put their best moments on social media. You rarely or never see social media accounts of the other 70-90% of that person’s life. It’s not always as good as it appears.

Many people also compare their highlight reel to others’ worst moments.

Remember, no one is perfect. You’ve heard it before and you know it but you might struggle with perfectionism.

Learn how to love your flaws & feel better by checking out The Myth of Perfection article here.

There will ALWAYS be someone you can compare yourself to that you will say is better than you, and will ALWAYS be someone you can compare yourself to that you will say you are better than.

Neither are true.

“Stay in your lane. Comparison kills creativity and joy.”
Brene Brown

Some techniques to help you stop comparing yourself to others:

—Bring your focus back to your life by thinking about 5 things you are grateful for today.

—Think about what YOUR strengths are.

—Don’t criticize others.

—Let the success of others inspire you.

—Learn to live and love with your imperfections.

—Love yourself. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a real best friend.

“I used to be afraid when people used to say ‘oh she’s so full of herself.’ And now I embrace it. I consider it a compliment that I am full of myself. Because only when you’re full, I’m full, I’m overflowing. My cup runneth over. I have so much to offer and so much to give and I am not afraid of honoring myself.”
Oprah Winfrey

There have been studies regarding the regrets of people on their deathbeds. One of the top 5 regrets they have is that they wished they lived a life true to themselves instead of what other people expected. Find that study here, as well as 3 things to do to live a life you won’t regret in 30 years.

One reason why people don’t live a life true to themselves is because they compare their lives’ to another’s life, focusing on other people and not themselves.

You just can’t live YOUR life when you attention is constantly focused on ANOTHER.

It is difficult though. If it were easy everyone would do it.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson.

^^It was true in the 1800’s and it’s still true today.

Many people claim to be living their own life but if you look at their lives you will see how much they crave fitting in.

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”
Oscar Wilde

If you are reading this then you most likely want to live a life without comparisons, staying true to yourself.

I hope you have found something here that will inspire you to live a life without comparisons.

It’s possible.

Here are a few extra quotes on the subject of comparison:

“Don’t compare your life to others. There’s no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it’s their time.” Anonymous

“Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else.” Judy Garland

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.” Lao Tzu

“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” Ru Paul

“I will not reason and compare: my business is to create.” William Blake

“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.” Shannon L. Alder

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” Marilyn Monroe

“Our time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” Steve Jobs

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.” Brene Brown

“Don’t be into trends. Don’t make fashion own you, but you decide what you are, what you want to express by the way you dress and the way to live.” Gianni Versace

“Don’t waste your energy trying to change opinions…do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.” Tina Fey

“To love is to stop comparing.” Bernard Grasset

“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.” Steve Maraboli

“Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people—unless it affects the common good. It will keep you from doing anything useful. You’ll be too preoccupied with what so-and-so is doing, and why, and what they’re saying, and what they’re thinking, and what they’re up to, and all the other things that throw you off and keep you from focusing on your own mind.”
Marcus Aurelius

Find more ideas & quotes in this article, “Dealing with Others’ Opinions & Actions.”

Carpe Diem.
Seize the day.
Get out there & live YOUR life!

This story is an ideal representation of my blog’s theme: You CAN live the life you want.

It’s possible to discover your passion and get paid to do it! As you will see in this story.

You don’t need to immediately give up your current path but you also don’t need to spend 40 hours each week for the next 30-40 years doing work you don’t enjoy.

I first heard this story from Tim Ferriss, author of The 4-Hour Workweek.

Enjoy…

…Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Twenty feet and closing.

“Run! Ruuuuuuuuuun!” Hans didn’t speak Portuguese, but the meaning was clear enough—haul ass. His sneakers gripped firmly on the jagged rock, and he drove his chest forward toward 3,000 feet of nothing.

He held his breath on the final step, and the panic drove him to near unconsciousness.

His vision blurred at the edges, closing to a single pinpoint of light, and then … he floated. The all-consuming celestial blue of the horizon hit his visual field an instant after he realized that the thermal updraft had caught him and the wings of the paraglider. Fear was behind him on the mountaintop, and thousands of feet above the resplendent green rain forest and pristine white beaches of Copacabana, Hans Keeling had seen the light.

That was Sunday.
On Monday, Hans returned to his law office in Century City, Los Angeles’s posh corporate haven, and promptly handed in his three-week notice.

For nearly five years, he had faced his alarm clock with the same dread: I have to do this for another 40–45 years?

He had once slept under his desk at the office after a punishing half-done project, only to wake up and continue on it the next morning.

That same morning, he had made himself a promise: two more times and I’m out of here. Strike number three came the day before he left for his Brazilian vacation.

We all make these promises to ourselves, and Hans had done it before as well, but things were now somehow different. He was different.

He had realized something while arcing in slow circles toward the earth—risks weren’t that scary once you took them.

His colleagues told him what he expected to hear: He was throwing it all away. He was an attorney on his way to the top—what the hell did he want?

Hans didn’t know exactly what he wanted, but he had tasted it.

On the other hand, he did know what bored him to tears, and he was done with it. No more passing days as the living dead, no more dinners where his colleagues compared cars, riding on the sugar high of a new BMW purchase until someone bought a more expensive Mercedes. It was over.

Immediately, a strange shift began—Hans felt, for the first time in a long time, at peace with himself and what he was doing. He had always been terrified of plane turbulence, as if he might die with the best inside of him, but now he could fly through a violent storm sleeping like a baby. Strange indeed.

More than a year later, he was still getting unsolicited job offers from law firms, but by then had started Nexus Surf, a premier surf-adventure company based in the tropical paradise of Florianopolis, Brazil. He had met his dream girl, a Carioca with caramel-colored skin named Tatiana, and spent most of his time relaxing under palm trees or treating clients to the best times of their lives.

Is this what he had been so afraid of?

These days, he often sees his former self in the underjoyed and overworked professionals he takes out on the waves. Waiting for the swell, the true emotions come out: “God, I wish I could do what you do.” His reply is always the same: “You can.”

The setting sun reflects off the surface of the water, providing a Zen-like setting for a message he knows is true: It’s not giving up to put your current path on indefinite pause. He could pick up his law career exactly where he left off if he wanted to, but that is the furthest thing from his mind.

As they paddle back to shore after an awesome session, his clients get ahold of themselves and regain their composure. They set foot on shore, and reality sinks its fangs in: “I would, but I can’t really throw it all away.”

He has to laugh.

The End

I’m rooting for you.

Here are 3 ways to live a life you won’t regret in 30 years!

I include the top 5 things people regret most on their death beds in this article above, based on research!