One Book Can Change Your Life

“People don’t realize how a man’s whole life can be changed by one book.”

— Malcolm X  

One of the first books that changed my life was Way of The Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman. I read it first when I was 19 years old, the summer before my sophomore year of college.  

I had just been betrayed by some people who I thought were my friends, and rather than be upset about it, I turned to reading. 

I had been a lone wolf anyway, so letting go of people I thought were friends wasn’t that difficult anyway. (But I did feel a sort of sting for a week or two).

I learned early to love myself and not seek approval or love from people outside of myself. 

And this book helped me love myself more. 

It helped expand my perspective on the world and universe. 

I wrote a summary of the book here, but some of the messages in the book are: 

“Be happy now, without reason.”  

“You are much more than you think.”  

And “Life is much more than what any one of us can think.” .. there’s a lot more to life than our thoughts about it. 

And “Actions are more important than thoughts.” 

Anyway, I’ve read in the hundreds of books at this point. Sometimes it takes reading 15 to 20 books to find the one that I really connect with. 

Do you have a book that has changed your life?

The Seeds You Plant

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” 

We all want the best outcome, the harvest, the crop, the money, the championship, the finished essay, the good grades, the most sales, the best of everything, but are you willing to put the effort in every day & night until you see the result? 

It’s easy to look around ourselves and compare our lives to someone else’s, & to be discouraged or encouraged. 

I’ve heard to not compare your chapter 1 to someone’s chapter 20, yet we are human and we do that. 

We all start at chapter 1 – no matter what it is we are working on. We all start at the beginning. 

Yoda or someone said “You want to know the difference between a master and a beginner? The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.”  

Whenever you begin anything, you will almost never be good at it in the beginning. You will fail. It’ll be difficult. You may even be laughed at & feel the humility of attempting something & not being great at it. 

It’s okay. 

No one is great at the beginning. It takes time. 

If you want the results, you have to keep going. 

You try again and again, and again and again, and you get better, slowly. 

It won’t be easy, but nothing is, and as you try again and again – you will be planting the seeds for your success. 

Waves of The Present

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find eternity in each moment.”

— Thoreau

Do oceans wave in the past or future?

Or do you wave your hand in the past or future?

Waves happen now.

Life happens now.

You can spend your life in phantom fears – or living with ghosts & lifeless machine people, or you can break through & experience waves of the present.

Life happens today, here, now.

Comparing, Thriving

We as humans often compare ourselves to each other – or to people of the past. But the thing we probably do most is compare ourselves to our immediate environments & those there.

Sometimes our environments become boxes and trap us in, and sometimes our environments provide freedom.

When we thrive & strive to improve ourselves, to live our best lives, helping others, we are living in more freedom.

When we are comparing ourselves with anger, hating, envious, offensive & defensive, we most likely stay in a box.

I have heard that winners focus on winning, and losers focus on winners.

You can be a winner & focus on other winners too, just don’t look into the sidelines or crowds too long or you may get lost in them, with them, and you don’t want that if you’re a leader, a person of influence; someone attaining their own freedom.

Act With Purpose

“Do external things distract you? Then make time for yourself to learn something worthwhile; stop letting yourself be pulled in all directions. But make sure you guard against the other kind of confusion. People who labor all their lives but have no purpose to direct every thought and impulse toward are wasting their time—even when hard at work.”
—Marcus Aurelius

______________________________

What purpose are you living for?

Here is A 3-Step Process to Begin Creating YOUR Life

More helpful resources:

Set long-term goals & Focus

& Then Stop Looking Back & Live Life Like You’re Driving

Turn Inaction into Action

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer the negative elements in your life, don’t sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy!”
— Dale Carnegie

Overthinking is one of the root causes of inaction.

The best way to overcome this is to just take action.

If your thoughts & feelings are holding you back from taking right action, it’s time to break on through to the other side.

You do this, like Nike says, by just doing it.

Everyone feels fear.

Everyone worries.

But in this moment, it’s time for right action.

Do The Work

“Amateurs let adversity defeat them. The pro thinks differently. He shows up, he does his work, he keeps on truckin’, no matter what.”
—Steven Pressfield

What are you waiting for?

Think & figure out your dream

Feel your dream

& take action toward it. 

Now is the time to Do The Work.

Setting Expectations

What is it that you expect to happen?

How often are your expectations realized?

We have both good and bad expectations – about a whole range of things.

What’s more important than expectations are our actions to achieve our good expectations & our actions to work out or through our bad expectations…or to just let them go.

Expectations can hold us back, but they can also set us forward.

The choice is yours.

30 Marcus Aurelius Quotes on Other People and Why You Should Focus on Yourself

1) “Don’t pay attention to other people’s minds. Look straight ahead, where nature is leading you, through the things that happen to you through your own actions.”

2) “When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and unfriendly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil.”

3) “Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?”

4) “God did not intend my happiness to rest with someone else.”

5) “Welcoming wholeheartedly whatever comes- whatever were assigned—not worrying too often, or with any selfish motive, about what other people say, or do, or think.”

6) “Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people—unless it affects the common good.  It will keep you from doing anything useful.  You’ll be too preoccupied with what so-and-so is doing, and why, and what they’re saying, and what they’re thinking, and what they’re up to, and all the other things that throw you off and keep you from focusing on your own mind.”

7) “You want praise from people who kick themselves every 15 minutes, the approval of people who despise themselves…why do you want approval from people who don’t know where or who they are on this planet?”

8) “The tranquility that comes when you stop caring what they say, or think, or do. Only what you do. Asking yourself: Is this fair? Is this the right thing to do?”

9) “Why do unskilled and untrained souls disturb souls with skill and understanding?”

10) “So other people hurt me? That’s their problem. Their character and actions are not mine.”

11) “So remember this principle when someone threatens to cause you pain: the thing itself was no misfortune at all; to endure it and prevail is great good fortune.”

12) “When someone seems to have injured you: ‘But how can I be sure?’ And in any case, keep in mind: —That he’s already been tried and convicted-by himself, like scratching your own eyes out.—That to expect a bad person not to harm others is like expecting fig trees not to secrete juice, babies not to cry, horses not to neigh—the inevitable not to happen.”

13) “When people injure you, ask yourself what good or harm they thought would come of it. If you understand that, you’ll feel sympathy rather than outrage or anger.”

14) “If they’ve injured you, then they’re the ones who suffer for it.”

15) “People do things that upset you, but it can’t harm your mind. People do boorish things, what’s strange or unheard of about that?? Isn’t it yourself you should reproach—for not anticipating that they’d act this way??—It was you who did wrong by assuming that someone with those traits deserved your trust.”

16) “Other people’s mistakes? Leave them to their makers.”

17) “Leave other peoples mistakes where they lie.”

18) “If anyone can refute me-show me I’m making a mistake or looking at things from the wrong perspective—I’ll gladly change. It’s the truth I’m after, and the truth never harmed anyone. What harms us is to persist in self-deceit and ignorance.”

19) “People out for posthumous fame forget that the Generations To Come will be the same annoying people they know now. And just as mortal. What does it matter to you if they say x about you, or think y?”

20) “When faced with people’s bad behavior, turn around and ask when you have acted like that. When you saw money as good, or pleasure, or social position. Your anger will subside as soon as you recognize that they acted under compulsion.”

21) “If someone despises me—that’s their problem. Mine—not to do or say anything despicable. If someone hates me—that’s their problem. Mine—to be patient and cheerful with everyone, including them. Ready to show them their mistake. Not spitefully, or to show off my own self-control, but in an honest, upright way. That’s the way we should be like inside, and never let the gods catch us feeling anger or resentment.”

22) “That kindness is invincible, provided it’s sincere—not ironic or an act. What can even the most vicious person do if you keep treating him with kindness and gently set him straight—if you get the chance—correcting him cheerfully at the exact moment that he’s trying to do you harm..
‘No, no my friend. That isn’t what we’re here for. It isn’t me who’s harmed by that. It’s you.’ And show him gently without pointing fingers that it’s so.”

23) “That it’s not what they do that bothers us: that’s a problem for their minds, not ours. It’s our own misperceptions. Discard them. Be willing to give up thinking of this as a catastrophe…and your anger is gone. How do you do that? By recognizing that you’ve suffered no disgrace.”

24) “That you don’t know for sure it is a mistake. A lot of things are means to some other end. You have to know an awful lot before you can judge other people’s actions with real understanding.”

25) “It never ceases to amaze me: We all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.”

26) “The despicable phoniness of people who say, ‘listen, I’m going to level with you here.’ What does that mean?? It shouldn’t even need to be said. It should be obvious—written in block letters on your forehead. It should be audible in your voice, visible in your eyes, like a lover who looks into your face, and takes in the whole story at a glance. A straightforward honest person should be like someone who stinks: when you’re in the same room with him, you know it.  But false straightforwardness is like a knife in the back. False friendship is the worst. Avoid it at all costs. If you’re honest and straightforward and mean well, it should show in your eyes. It should be unmistakable.”

27) “Or is it your reputation thats bothering you? But look at how soon we’re all forgotten. The abyss of endless time that swallows it all. The emptiness of all those applauding hands. The people who praise us-how capricious they are, how arbitrary. And the tiny region in which it all takes place. The whole earth a point in space-and most of it uninhabited.”

28) “To live life in peace, immune to all compulsion…Let them scream whatever they want.”

29) “Not to be distracted by their darkness.  To run straight for the finish line, unswerving.”

30) “Don’t be put off by other people’s comments and criticism.”

Finding Joy Now

My focus shifts from one task to another as my thoughts wander and I drift further and further away from the present moment. 

This has happened to me many times and I’m sure will happen again in the future, but I have learned a few methods to finding and feeling joy in this moment right now.

Of course some people will say that to attain joy you need to exercise, eat healthy, don’t smoke, save money for retirement — to Do these things _________… and don’t do these things __________… Then you will be happy. And that’s just not true.

You either feel joy now or you don’t. It’s not something you will forever maintain once you accomplish this thing or that thing. It’s something to be had in this moment and to keep with you deep down as you journey through life. Even through the hard times that life brings to us all you will be able to remind yourself of the genuine joy you have. 

Joy comes from a multitude of actions and it’s unique to everyone. One big source of joy comes from loving what you do.

This is difficult in societies that tell us to live for the future – to disregard your happiness for 30-40 years and then you can be happy in retirement. It’s a lie and it has made many CEO’s wealthy.

I do believe in hard work and I believe in doing what you need to do to provide for yourself and your family, but in this internet age it is possible to find joy today while working toward financial freedom and other long-term goals.

Once you accept some inalienable truths you can experience a deep joy. Things such as: 

– Tomorrow isn’t promised.
– One day you are going to leave this planet forever (Memento Mori).
– This moment might be all you have.

Of course there are more inalienable truths, but these are a few that inspire me to find joy today, tomorrow, and throughout all the ups and downs of life.

Below are some exercises that have helped me and can help you. Each person is unique and will find joy in different ways so use what works for you.

-Remind yourself of a happy memory. Dwell in that memory for at least one minute.

-Remind yourself that the best times of your life haven’t happened yet. They are on their way.

-Think of someone you look up to as a role model. Remind yourself why you look up to them.

-Think of 3 accomplishments you are proud of that you have achieved in the past.

-Write down 3 things you enjoy doing – Can be anything – a sport, hanging out with people, going to a certain place, any hobby you have or would like to have.

-Try affirmations. Tell yourself “I am happy now. I am loved. I love life.”

-Think about what you would like to do if you didn’t have to worry about money. Remind yourself that it is possible to attain this in time. Don’t forget it.

-Observe your surroundings without thinking about them. Just see everything without labeling them for a few moments.

-Stargaze.

-Read something new.

-Surround yourself with a few objects that make you feel good.

Text Call someone you love.

Your joy is to be experienced today. Of course you won’t feel joy in every moment of your life, no one does, but you can take action toward living a more joyful life.