In All Things, Use what Works for You

“Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own.”

Bruce Lee

How often have you been told what to do with your life?

Most people who give you unsolicited advice have good intentions but it doesn’t mean that what has worked for them will work for you.

“Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”
Paulo Coelho

It’s easy to get lost in all the things you “should do,” as people will tell you, while forgetting about what you actually want to do.

It can be extremely difficult when it seems like everyone else is doing what people say you “should do”, like going to college, but it’s not for everyone.

Here are some people who didn’t go or dropped out of college:

Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Ted Turner, Tony Robbins, Richard Branson, Ellen DeGeneres, Rachael Ray, Michael Dell, Jack Dorsey, Russell Simmons, John D. Rockefeller, Henry Ford, and many others. Find a list of 100 here.

Remember this quote from Mark Twain whenever you are thinking that you should be doing what others are doing:

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”

If you’re struggling in an area where you see others succeeding in, it doesn’t make you dumb, it just tells you that that area is not for you, unless you’re passionate about it. You can learn & master any skill you want through relentless practice.

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” 
Albert Einstein

A variety of life experiences & hobbies can help you figure out your passion.

Maybe it’s writing, acting, speaking, athletics, designer, teacher, attendant, horse trainer.

But people say, “you can’t do that, no one makes money doing that.”

Except they do…

If there is anyone doing what you would love to do, you can do it too.

You may have to take some side jobs as you focus on getting paid to do what you love, but if you are passionate enough about it, you will find a way.

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.”
Steve Jobs

You are unique.

People find the most happiness when they embrace their uniqueness instead of trying to please people & fit in.

Maybe you learn best visually while someone else learns best verbally.
Or aurally, physically, logically, socially, or solitary.

Which way is best? 

There is no “best.” There is only what is best for you.

Find out how you learn best & don’t judge yourself.

I think I learn best visually—I like demonstrations especially when I am able to get involved.

“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.”
Benjamin Franklin

There are many crossroads in life, leaving you with multiple choices. The easy path is to follow what others are doing.

A nurse who spent years working in palliative care, taking care of people in the last 12 weeks of their lives, researched and wrote the top five regrets people have on their deathbeds.

The most common regret was “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” Find the article here.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Use what works for you, not what works for someone else.

Here are 3 more ways to live life you won’t regret

Quotes to help find and follow your bliss

“You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.”
Maya Angelou

“If it falls your lot to be a street sweeper, go out and sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures. Sweep streets like Handel and Beethoven composed music. Sweep streets like Shakespeare wrote poetry. Sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will have to pause and say, here lived a great street sweeper who swept his job well.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.

“The people who make it to the top – whether they’re musicians, or great chefs, or corporate honchos – are addicted to their calling … [they] are the ones who’d be doing whatever it is they love, even if they weren’t being paid.”
Quincy Jones

“There comes a time when you ought to start doing what you want. Take a job that you love. You will jump out of bed in the morning. I think you are out of your mind if you keep taking jobs that you don’t like because you think it will look good on your resume. Isn’t that a little like saving up sex for your old age?”
Warren Buffet

“I think the foremost quality – there’s no success without it – is really loving what you do. If you love it, you do it well, and there’s no success if you don’t do well what you’re working at.”
Malcolm Forbes

“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bounds. Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.”
Patanjali

“The law of work seems unfair, but nothing can change it; the more enjoyment you get out of your work, the more money you will make.”
Mark Twain

“Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.”
Rumi

“Yes, I’ve made a great deal of dough from my fiction, but I never set a single word down on paper with the thought of being paid for it … I have written because it fulfilled me. Maybe it paid off the mortgage on the house and got the kids through college, but those things were on the side—I did it for the buzz. I did it for the pure joy of the thing. And if you can do it for the joy, you can do it forever.”
Stephen King

“I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”
Steve Jobs

Stop Looking Back & Live Life like you’re Driving

I was driving on the highway yesterday as I adjusted my rearview mirror to the honking car behind me. I kept my eyes on the rearview mirror for too long and crashed, totaling my car and injuring my body.

This is a metaphor but very real in that it happens to people every day; you look back for too long, dwelling in the pain of the past as it becomes a habit & nearly impossible to look forward.

What happens when you look back for too long?
You crash.

It’s important to look back every now & then so that you can shift lanes & stay cautious without getting in an accident. Caution is important to moving forward, but too much caution will keep you where you are.

Sometimes by looking back you are just stalling. Sitting. Waiting…Waiting for something to happen, but nothing does, because YOU are the driver. YOU decide where you go.

But it can be difficult to look forward when this ruthless world is quick to punish…

…Especially when you find success.

When you find success you’ll find a crowd of cars tailing you, honking at you, craving your attention. They want you to look back. They don’t want you to follow your vision & move forward. They want you to remember all the pot holes you hit on your way.

How are you responding to the world around you?

Everyone & everything wants your attention. 

Are you giving it to them?

Or are you following YOUR vision?

You are the driver of your life. You are empowered.

Keep looking forward and I’ll see you on the highway.

Quotes on not looking back

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
Helen Keller

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”
C.S. Lewis

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.”
Albert Einstein

“The great courageous act that we must all do, is to have the courage to step out of our history and past so that we can live our dreams.”
Oprah Winfrey

“We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.”
Rick Warren

“If you want to live your life in a creative way, as an artist, you have to not look back too much. You have to be willing to take whatever you’ve done and whoever you were and throw them away.”
Steve Jobs

“Never look back unless you are planning on going that way.”
Henry David Thoreau

“If you look back, you’ll soon be going that way.”
Proverb

“We ought not to look back, unless it is to derive useful lessons from past errors and for the purpose of profiting by dear bought experience.”
George Washington

“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.”
Steve Maraboli

“I feel confident imposing change on myself. It’s a lot more fun progressing than looking back.”
David Bowie

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”
Mother Theresa

Here are 3 things you can do to live a life you won’t regret living!

How to Stop Comparing Yourself & Seize the Day

“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.”

Coco Chanel

How often do you think about other people?
…Giving your attention to what so and so did or said.

I know I have struggled in giving my attention to others, comparing my life to theirs at times. I haven’t conquered this skill fully but below you will find ideas & resources that have helped me and can help you come closer to focusing on YOUR life.

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
Marcus Aurelius

It’s tough to only focus on what you are doing and saying, especially in this social media driven world that praises competition.

“The tranquility that comes when you stop caring what they say. Or think, or do.  Only what you do. Asking yourself: Is this fair?  Is this the right thing to do?”
Marcus Aurelius

Social media has become so popular that people can spend mindless hours scrolling through. There are some positive to social media but often, mindless scrolling, which is usually comparing your life to the lives of others, can result in depression & loneliness.

Here is an article discussing research showing how using social media increases depression & loneliness.

One quick fix to this problem is to delete any channels or feeds that make you feel bad about yourself.

Remove those accounts!!!

And if you wonder, “what will so & so think if I post this?” DELETE them!! 

“About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won’t like you at all.”
Rita Mae Brown

When you’re comparing yourself to someone else you are probably comparing in one of these two ways:

1) Comparing your worst to someone’s best.

2) Comparing your best to someone’s worst.

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
Steve Furtick

Comparing the beginning of a pursuit you have to someone who has already found success in that area is a sure way to fail.

Remind yourself that people put their best moments on social media. You rarely or never see social media accounts of the other 70-90% of that person’s life. It’s not always as good as it appears.

Many people also compare their highlight reel to others’ worst moments.

Remember, no one is perfect. You’ve heard it before and you know it but you might struggle with perfectionism.

Learn how to love your flaws & feel better by checking out The Myth of Perfection article here.

There will ALWAYS be someone you can compare yourself to that you will say is better than you, and will ALWAYS be someone you can compare yourself to that you will say you are better than.

Neither are true.

“Stay in your lane. Comparison kills creativity and joy.”
Brene Brown

Some techniques to help you stop comparing yourself to others:

—Bring your focus back to your life by thinking about 5 things you are grateful for today.

—Think about what YOUR strengths are.

—Don’t criticize others.

—Let the success of others inspire you.

Learn to live and love with your imperfections.

—Love yourself. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a real best friend.

“I used to be afraid when people used to say ‘oh she’s so full of herself.’ And now I embrace it. I consider it a compliment that I am full of myself. Because only when you’re full, I’m full, I’m overflowing. My cup runneth over. I have so much to offer and so much to give and I am not afraid of honoring myself.”
Oprah Winfrey

There have been studies regarding the regrets of people on their deathbeds. One of the top 5 regrets they have is that they wished they lived a life true to themselves instead of what other people expected. Find that study here, as well as 3 things to do to live a life you won’t regret in 30 years.

One reason why people don’t live a life true to themselves is because they compare their lives’ to another’s life, focusing on other people and not themselves.

You just can’t live YOUR life when you attention is constantly focused on ANOTHER.

It is difficult though. If it were easy everyone would do it.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson.

^^It was true in the 1800’s and it’s still true today.

Many people claim to be living their own life but if you look at their lives you will see how much they crave fitting in.

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”
Oscar Wilde

If you are reading this then you most likely want to live a life without comparisons, staying true to yourself. 

I hope you have found something here that will inspire you to live a life without comparisons.

It’s possible.

Here are a few extra quotes on the subject of comparison:

“Don’t compare your life to others. There’s no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it’s their time.” Anonymous

“Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else.” Judy Garland

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.” Lao Tzu

“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” Ru Paul

“I will not reason and compare: my business is to create.” William Blake

“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.” Shannon L. Alder

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” Marilyn Monroe

“Our time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” Steve Jobs

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.” Brene Brown

“Don’t be into trends. Don’t make fashion own you, but you decide what you are, what you want to express by the way you dress and the way to live.” Gianni Versace

“Don’t waste your energy trying to change opinions…do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.” Tina Fey

“To love is to stop comparing.” Bernard Grasset

“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.” Steve Maraboli

“Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people—unless it affects the common good.  It will keep you from doing anything useful.  You’ll be too preoccupied with what so-and-so is doing, and why, and what they’re saying, and what they’re thinking, and what they’re up to, and all the other things that throw you off and keep you from focusing on your own mind.”
Marcus Aurelius

Find more ideas & quotes in this article, “Dealing with Others’ Opinions & Actions.”

Carpe Diem.
Seize the day.
Get out there & live YOUR life!

The Ultimate Parable on How to Escape the 9-5 and Do What You Love

This story is an ideal representation of my blog’s theme: You CAN live the life you want.

It’s possible to discover your passion and get paid to do it! As you will see in this story.

You don’t need to immediately give up your current path but you also don’t need to spend 40 hours each week for the next 30-40 years doing work you don’t enjoy.

I first heard this story from Tim Ferriss, author of The 4-Hour Workweek.

Enjoy…

…Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Twenty feet and closing.

“Run! Ruuuuuuuuuun!” Hans didn’t speak Portuguese, but the meaning was clear enough—haul ass. His sneakers gripped firmly on the jagged rock, and he drove his chest forward toward 3,000 feet of nothing.

He held his breath on the final step, and the panic drove him to near unconsciousness.

His vision blurred at the edges, closing to a single pinpoint of light, and then … he floated. The all-consuming celestial blue of the horizon hit his visual field an instant after he realized that the thermal updraft had caught him and the wings of the paraglider. Fear was behind him on the mountaintop, and thousands of feet above the resplendent green rain forest and pristine white beaches of Copacabana, Hans Keeling had seen the light.

That was Sunday.
On Monday, Hans returned to his law office in Century City, Los Angeles’s posh corporate haven, and promptly handed in his three-week notice. 

For nearly five years, he had faced his alarm clock with the same dread: I have to do this for another 40–45 years? 

He had once slept under his desk at the office after a punishing half-done project, only to wake up and continue on it the next morning. 

That same morning, he had made himself a promise: two more times and I’m out of here. Strike number three came the day before he left for his Brazilian vacation.

We all make these promises to ourselves, and Hans had done it before as well, but things were now somehow different. He was different. 

He had realized something while arcing in slow circles toward the earth—risks weren’t that scary once you took them. 

His colleagues told him what he expected to hear: He was throwing it all away. He was an attorney on his way to the top—what the hell did he want?

Hans didn’t know exactly what he wanted, but he had tasted it. 

On the other hand, he did know what bored him to tears, and he was done with it. No more passing days as the living dead, no more dinners where his colleagues compared cars, riding on the sugar high of a new BMW purchase until someone bought a more expensive Mercedes. It was over.

Immediately, a strange shift began—Hans felt, for the first time in a long time, at peace with himself and what he was doing. He had always been terrified of plane turbulence, as if he might die with the best inside of him, but now he could fly through a violent storm sleeping like a baby. Strange indeed.

More than a year later, he was still getting unsolicited job offers from law firms, but by then had started Nexus Surf, a premier surf-adventure company based in the tropical paradise of Florianopolis, Brazil. He had met his dream girl, a Carioca with caramel-colored skin named Tatiana, and spent most of his time relaxing under palm trees or treating clients to the best times of their lives.

Is this what he had been so afraid of?

These days, he often sees his former self in the underjoyed and overworked professionals he takes out on the waves. Waiting for the swell, the true emotions come out: “God, I wish I could do what you do.” His reply is always the same: “You can.”

The setting sun reflects off the surface of the water, providing a Zen-like setting for a message he knows is true: It’s not giving up to put your current path on indefinite pause. He could pick up his law career exactly where he left off if he wanted to, but that is the furthest thing from his mind.

As they paddle back to shore after an awesome session, his clients get ahold of themselves and regain their composure. They set foot on shore, and reality sinks its fangs in: “I would, but I can’t really throw it all away.”

He has to laugh.

The End

I’m rooting for you.

Here are 3 ways to live a life you won’t regret in 30 years!

I include the top 5 things people regret most on their death beds in this article above, based on research!