Life

6 Human Needs; Why all people do what they do

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This post mainly comes from the ideas of the great Tony Robbins while I only add to it.

You are seeking emotions and experiences. After researching experts, I have found that there are six basic, universal needs that drive ALL human behavior. Every human being has these needs, but we each put different VALUE on these needs. Our focus on these needs will determine the direction of our life!  What need will you live for?

The six human needs include:

1) Certainty

2) Significance

3) Variety

4) Love/Connection

5) Growth

6) Contribution

Each of these needs influence every single human being’s life, and by understanding the needs that shape your behavior, you can take control of your life, and create new habits that lead you to the life you’ve been dreaming of living.

What do you think the most addictive thing in the world is???

Find out in a few paragraphs, it’s not what you think.

Before we get more into our human needs, lets look at how DECISIONS shape our destiny, and our decisions of course are intertwined with our needs.

Decision is the ultimate power. Decisions shape destiny.

There are 3 Decisions we are making EVERY moment of our lives:

1) What am I going to focus on?  Focus=feeling.  Past/present/Future…Self or others?

2) What does it(this situation/experience) mean? Is it the end or the beginning?  Are you being punished or rewarded?

3)What are your going to do? Are you going to give up or move forward?

We make these decisions consciously or unconsciously.**

Lance Armstrong for example could have focused on his cancer but he continued to focus on biking and being the best. He continued to win!

Rosa Parks.  Her focus was that she could change the world for her kids or grandkids instead of focusing on what she was told to do.  She wouldn’t go to the back of the bus & she changed the whole world!

Entrepreneur Tony Robbins also has an incredible story.  When he was a eleven years old with a very broke family and no food for Thanksgiving, a stranger came to his house on Thanksgiving to give them a turkey.  Tony’s angry father and himself had VERY different PERSPECTIVES/FOCUSES on this event that went like this:

Tony’s Father: His 3 decisions: Focus was “this is charity” What does it mean “I am worthless” What do I have to do? “Leave my family.” Which he did…

Tony’s focus:  There’s food!  What does it mean? “Strangers care about me and other people.”  What am I going to do?  “I’m going to do something to make a difference.” Six years later he started feeding families when he was 17. Slowly but surely he built a foundation and has fed millions of people all over the world.

Your FOCUS determines much of your life. Try to be intentional and conscious of what you focus on.

& The most addictive thing in the world is….

Most people will guess wrong. The answer is Problems.

**Most people find a way to feel significant by having a significant problem.  Problems are the safest way to connect with others and not be rejected. Problems are the biggest addiction in our culture.

And SiGNIFICANCE is one of the six human needs!!! Think about your life. Do you connect and feel significant through problems? And are you happy with constantly talking about problems or do you want to live a life with less complaining?

***Instead of just looking at peoples’ behaviors, see their attempts to meet their needs.***

A few insights into the 6 human needs:

1) Certainty

  • People like to be certain, to have financial security, to trust people and experiences. But too much certainty makes us bored, so we need some variety.

2) Variety

  • People like good surprises, if it’s a bad surprise they call it a problem.

3) Significance

  • We all need to feel important, special, unique..People do this in so many different ways-tattoos, religion, joining a group..etc..One of the quickest way some people feel significant is through Violence. Violent things happen each day, just watch the news; these people have a striving for significance, as well as some big mental problems..I encourage you to be significant in a positive way.  Join some great groups, read, write, travel.

4) What we really need is Connection & Love

  • Connection and love are like rain to a garden of flowers, they make us grow.  Surround yourself with people who support and love you. I am so thankful for my family because of their love. Also if you are feeling down and depressed, get a pet. Dogs will love you and are always happy to see you.  Cats are different, but they can show love to their owners as well.

Every human finds a way to meet the first 4 needs. What will your FOCUS be to meet these needs???

The next two needs create fulfillment!

5) Growth

If you don’t grow, you die. Relationships, businesses, self, etc.

  • We grow when we have something to give of value. So don’t always be thinking of yourself..I know it’s hard, but try to get out of yourself for awhile & see what you can give to others that can help them. EVERYONE has something great to contribute, but it can be very difficult to find it. Start by donating food or clothes, or doing something small for someone. It feels amazing and will help you grow. It’s funny how a selfless act will ultimately help you too.

6) To Contribute beyond ourselves

  • Growth and Contribution are intertwined. You grow by contributing.  Contribution=growth.

“The secret of living is giving.”

“It’s not about me, it’s about we.” Tony Robbins

People truly get excited to contribute once they experience it and not just talk about it.

We ALL have the same needs, but whatever need leads us will lead us to our destination.

People all try to meet the same needs, but we do it in different ways. A firefighter saves lives for significance while someone else kills a person for significance.

Try to appreciate how people are attempting to meet their needs, explore your decisions, and give.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO FOCUS ON?

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

45 Life Lessons

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  1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
  2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
  3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
  4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
  5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
  6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
  7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
  8. Save for retirement, starting with your first paycheck.
  9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
  10. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
  11. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
  12. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
  13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
  14. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
  15. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
  16. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
  17. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
  18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
  19. Burn the candles; use the nice sheets; wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
  20. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
  21. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
  22. The most important sex organ is the brain.
  23. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
  24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”
  25. Forgive everyone everything.
  26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
  27. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
  28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
  29. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
  30. Believe in miracles.
  31. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
  32. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
  33. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
  34. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
  35. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
  36. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
  37. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
  38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
  39. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
  40. The best is yet to come.
  41. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
  42. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
  43. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
  44. Yield.
  45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

These are all so good.  I read this a few times!  Credit to Regina Brett.  Which is your favorite??

Get more free time by using Parkinson’s Law!

Posted on by in Motivation, Self-Help, Successful People and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Parkinson’s Law dictates that a task will swell in perceived importance and complexity in relation to the time allotted to its completion.

We work on things with a given deadline, but if we have no deadline we will take up all sorts of time wasting it.

Example—Someone who has a leisure day with no deadlines can spend the whole day writing an easy college essay that is due the next day.  This essay should take no more than one hour, but lets see what happens…

The person wakes up slow, makes coffee and eats, showers, and 1-2 hours is gone.  They look at what they have to do for a few minutes then get distracted with social media and surfing the web for an hour.  Decide to watch Netflix for an hour or two, and the day is almost evening..

..They open up their paper and work on it for about 5 minutes before getting distracted and going back to checking out social media.  This cycle continues for hours until they finally begin and finish the paper around midnight.  The paper would have only taken at most an hour to finish, but this person believed they did not need to finish it first thing in the morning so they took all day to do it.  They did not have a specific deadline for the paper!

This is similar to a typical 9-5 workday where many people babble their days away with coworkers in pointless conversation.  There have been studies done about how much people actually work throughout the day at their 9-5 jobs and the average does actual work-related tasks about half of the time.

Useless meetings, lunch and water breaks, surfing the web and other distracting things take them away from “what they should be doing.”  And if their bosses allow it, I would do it too!  If a boss gives an employee a week to do something, that person will take the full week to lazily do that task, when it could be done in a much shorter time if given a shorter deadline. Check cartoon below↓↓↓

“Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.”  I can’t say it enough.

By assigning the right amount go time to a task, we gain back more time and the task will reduce in complexity to its natural state.

Parkinson’s Law works because people give tasks longer than they really need, for different reasons, because they have an inflated idea of how long the task will take to complete.  **You can’t realize how quickly some tasks can be completed until you test this principle.

Work smarter, not harder…when most people are working harder and not smarter.

A practical way for you to complete goals/tasks faster:

  • Make a list of your tasks for the day, week, month, etc.  and divide them up by the amount of time you think it will take to complete them.  Then write down half of that time that you first gave yourself to complete each task!  Make sure you view your deadlines just as crucial as you would if completing it for a boss.
  • Stop checking your phone and email every 15 minutes and take 45-60 minutes of focused time to only work on your main task.

When you begin applying Parkinson’s Law to your life and your tasks, you will begin to be more productive than you’ve ever imagined.

Please share and comment, letting me know your thoughts and how Parkinson’s Law has helped you!

Think Big and You’ll Live Big

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What does every successful person have in common?  They all think “BIG.”

The size of your thinking will determine your success.  Open your mind to see this truth now, or don’t, and continue living the life you have at this moment.  If you don’t like your job and want more from your life then REALLY open your mind to this idea.  You will watch your life prosper as you begin a journey to the life you dream of.

I’m sure you’ve heard that faith can move a mountain; that if you believe you can move a mountain you will!  This is true, but it is claptrap to think you can make a mountain move just by saying “Mountain move!”  That is impossible; people who think this way are confused with wishful thinking.  You can’t wish yourself into anything, but when you believe you can truly do something BIG, and I KNOW you can, the how-to-do it develops.  When you believe you’ll succeed you will begin to observe the best.  You will study how successful people approach problems and make decisions.  Belief is an essential element to success!!

Disbelief is a negative power.  When the mind disbelieves or doubts, the mind attracts “reasons” to support the disbelief*** When this thought first crossed my mind I instantly saw how I was already applying this to my life, so it made me reexamine my life.  Think doubt and fail.  Think victory and succeed.  BELIEVE, and watch your life expand tremendously.

Tricks to Motivate Yourself

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Do you have a lack of motivation?  Are you bored often?  Here are a few tips you can use to get your fire burning again!  Begin to live life passionately.

First, organize your life so you don’t constantly need motivation.  If work is a constant battle, perhaps it’s time to start thinking about a new job.  We all have to do things we don’t want to do, but if your job and/or life has become a chronic source of dull chores, you’ve got a big problem that needs fixing.

So do something  you’re passionate for!  When you do things you are passionate for, you will get into a state of “flow.”  Flow is the state where your mind is completely focused on the task at hand.  While there are many factors that go into this state, having the right challenges is a big part.  Set challenges for yourself that fall between boredom and a maddening frustration.

BUT, passion and flow can fail, and when they do, try these:

  • Go back to your “why.” Figure out why you’re working on the task at hand.  Is it for money?  Do you want freedom?  Do you want to give?  Figuring out why you do something will motivate you!
  • Plan to work for 5 minutes.  When you sit down to work for 5 minutes, you are more likely to kick-start a longer period of work!  And if you end up only working for 5 minutes at least you got something done!
  • Find out what the next step is.  What is the thing you know you need to do to complete your task?  Focus on that!  It’s okay to think ahead, but don’t focus too much on the big picture; break it down into smaller tasks and start there!
  • Develop a mantra; a few statements that focus your mind and motivate you.  I have recently been doing this and it has helped beyond belief!  Tell yourself statements like “Do it now!”  Or make a jingle in your mind, “I’m going for a run, I’m going for a run.  I feel strong, relaxed and confident, I’m going for a run!”  There are all sorts of jingles and mantras you can do.  Make sure it’s personalized to fit you!

Overall, start working more on what you love to do.  Take time to do things you are passionate about.  You WILL have to do some work that is very difficult, but continue to do what you love as a side job.  Once you start getting paid for what you love you can do it full-time!

Who I Am

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You may say that I’m a dreamer.  I know I’m not the only one though.  This world is filled with dreamers, but it is also filled with realists.  Can you be a realist and a dreamer at

Dreamer.

At The Beatle’s Story Building in Liverpool England. (2013)

the same time?  I think so.

There are dreams each of us have every single day that become fulfilled, and there are dreams that are not fulfilled.  A lot of times we don’t see our dreams as dreams.  What I mean by this, is that most people expect to eat at some point in the day.  They dream about it, they think about it.  If they never thought about it, would they not eat?  You have to eat to stay alive, so why don’t we look at success as if it were dinner? If ya know what I’m sayin.  Need it, breathe it, think about it and be it.

There are also some dreams that some people may find unrealistic but that other people are doing.  If someone else is doing it then YOU CAN TOO!!  A few years ago I was presented with the idea of studying abroad.  This seemed like it could be a life-changing experience, and it was, but I will get to that later.  Looking back on what I did to make studying in England possible for a semester took effort.  It was not easy by any means, but it was worth it.  Paper work sucks, but sometimes it needs to be done if you want to do the things you really want to do.  I didn’t look at studying abroad as a dream until it actually happened, and reflecting on that experience makes me see that that is exactly what that was, a dream come true.  Many people talk about it, few people do it.

If you want something, go for it.  Work for it. Put in TIME and EFFORT.  Nothing worth having comes easy, but once you get it, the dream is something to be cherished forever.

First blog post

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Here we are.  Join me on this journey of living life to the fullest.  My name is Ken Thompson and I will be posting a wide range of content: Motivation, tips and tricks of the most successful, book reviews, traveling stories, and much more.

I hope to add value to your life and give you knowledge on how to live to your fullest potential!  But remember, knowledge is only potential power, EXECUTION is the real power.