1) “Pretend that your life was a movie and it started now, what would the hero do? What would the person that you respect do? What would the person that you admire, and inspires you do? Do that. Live your life like you’re the hero in your own movie.”
2) “We define ourselves far too often by our past failures. That’s not you. You are this person right now. You’re the person who has learned from those failures. Build confidence and momentum with each good decision you make from here on out and choose to be inspired.”
3) “If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.”
4) “Not knowing the truth doesn’t make you ignorant. Not wanting to know the truth is what makes you ignorant.”
5) “It’s very important to help people figure out how to manage life, to help people figure out how to think, help inspire them, help show them what can be gained from setting goals and achieving them and that excellent feeling – and that becomes contagious.”
6) “Treat everyone as if they were you. If we really are one, then I am you and you are me.”
7) “The time you spend hating on someone robs you of your own time. You are literally hating on yourself and you don’t even realize it.”
8) “Haters are all failures. It’s 100% across the board. No one who is truly brilliant at anything is a hater.”
9) “My act is so completely and totally uncensored that the only way I could really pull it off is if I treat the audience like they’re my best friends.”
10) “Your attitude has a giant effect not just on your life, but on other peoples lives around you.”
11) “There’s a direct correlation between positive energy and positive results in the physical form.”
12) “Life is strange. You keep moving and keep moving. Before you know it, you look back and think, ‘What was that?’”
13) “In all my travelings, all my life adventures; I have to say I still don’t know what life is, absolutely no clue, and it is a subject that is constantly on my mind. One thing I do know for a fact is that the nicer we are to our fellow human beings, the nicer the universe is to us.”
14)“There really are no grown-ups, just kids that got old and had kids of their own.”
15) “That’s my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.”
16) “We got sidetracked and diverted into these boxes, that they call ‘companies’ and ‘corporations.’ And we got stuck in these containers that they call ‘cubicles’ or ‘offices.’ So our time, instead of it being invested in making pottery or fixing cars or doing something where you have a passion or some sort of connection to. Instead of that, you’ve sold your life to sit in a box and work for a machine; an uncaring machine that demands productivity. It doesn’t understand you. It doesn’t want to understand you. No natural behavior. Everyone is wearing clothes they don’t want to wear. Everybody is showing up and doing something they don’t want to do. They have no connection to it. That’s the problem with our society. And then what’s the reward? Go home and get a big TV.”
17) “Get better at whatever you’re doing. So what if you suck at it now. Everybody sucks at everything when they start. But if you love it, and don’t lie to yourself, then get better at it.”
18) “No matter how civilized we are and how much society has curbed violent behavior. Human beings still have the same genes they had 10,000 years ago. Our bodies are designed to have a certain amount of physical stress and violence in them. We’re designed to run from jaguars and fight to defend our territory.”
19) “Here’s the craziest thing about life, this is the thing that nobody really considers; you know as much about what life is all about as anybody who’s ever lived, ever. That’s the craziest thing about us. We’re all just kinda wandering through this going “‘You know what you’re doing?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Oh, I do too. I know what I’m doing.’ ‘Okay. Good, then.’” But really no one has a clue.”
20) “Reality really is a theatre. There’s no other way to describe it. It’s all so nonsensical, ridiculous and chaotic.”
21) “The quicker we all realize that we’ve been taught how to live life by the people that were operating on the momentum of an ignorant past the quicker we can move to a global ethic of community that doesn’t value invented borders or the monopolization of natural resources, but rather the goal of a happier more loving humanity.”
22) “I realized a long time ago that instead of being jealous you can be inspired and appreciative. It carries more energy to you. That can be an awesome and motivating force that can improve your life if you choose to be inspired and not jealous. One has no benefit whatsoever, the other is an incredible resource for creating momentum and improvement.”
23) “The key to happiness doesn’t lay in numbers in a bank account but in the way we make others feel and the way they make us feel.”
24) “Very few people actually look up at night and go wow, that literally is infinite. We are floating in infinity. It is easier to see infinity than it is to see the ground. I have more view of the infinity.”
25) “To really appreciate life you got to know you’re going to die.”
26) “When someone comes along and expresses him or herself as freely as they think, people flock to it. They enjoy it.”
27) “The universe rewards calculated risk and passion.”
28) “The audience changes every night. You’re the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh…I never want to compromise my act just to get a laugh.”
29) “Work for that feeling that you have accomplished something…Don’t waste your time on this earth without making a mark.”
30) “Discomfort is your friend. It doesn’t matter if you’re sick, if you have kids… if you’re a pro, you go to work…The worst choice that a man can make is to become comfortable.”
31) “Bad breaks are an opportunity for you to reboot, to reassess, get better, figure out another way through your challenges. The people that look at those challenges and say ‘Well why do I have those challenges?’ – They’re cancer. They are dangerous people to be around. They will rob you of your enthusiasm and won’t give you any fuel.”
32) “All the time that you spend complaining, you could instead be hustling. You could be chasing your dream. You could be figuring out what you’re doing wrong and improving your life.”
33) “The people I know that have the hardest time keeping it together emotionally are people that don’t work out.”
34) “Do things that are difficult. It’s very important to struggle. You don’t get to know yourself without struggle. You don’t know who you are until you get tested.”
35) “In order to be truly great at something you have to give into a certain amount of madness.”
36) “One of the most fascinating lessons I’ve absorbed about life is that the struggle is good.”
37) “90% of success is just showing up. Get there and start working. You’re not going to feel perfect everyday. There’s gotta be those days you push through.”
38) “If things aren’t going the way you want them to go, then do something about it! Quit talking about your problems and go out and do something to fix them!”
39) “The brain is the general and the troops are the body. Write down your goals and get stuff done.”
40) “Fuel people are the ones out there hustling and always getting things done. My friend Jocko works out at 4:30 in the morning every day. Why? Because he doesn’t want to. That’s how you do it. You go and get after it and don’t make any excuses.”
41) “Resistance is the key battle that you’re going to fight for the rest of your life, but the key to overcoming that resistance is to fight it. Every day you do so, you have won the battle for that day.”
42)“There’s levels to dedication, to discipline, to drive to focus to obsession. There’s levels to it – and if you’re sitting on the sidelines saying “It must be nice”, you just don’t get it.”
43)“Greatness and madness are next door neighbors and they often borrow each other’s sugar.”
44) “100% of all haters in the world are unrealized potential.”
45) “I want to make sure that everything that I’m creating, I’m creating it so other people get enjoyment out of it. And that’s the reward that you get for that.”
With Ken Thompson 