1) “You don’t need a reason to be happy. If you do that reason can be taken away.”
2) “‘What do I do then, now? Where do I go from here?’ Dan asked Socrates.
‘Who cares?’ He yelled gleefully. ‘A fool is ‘happy’ when his cravings are satisfied. A warrior is happy without reason. That’s what makes happiness the ultimate discipline—above all else I have taught you.’”3) “Reality never matched their dreams; happiness was just around the corner — a corner they never turned. And the source of it all was the human mind.”
4) “There is no need to search; achievement leads to nowhere. It makes no difference at all, so just be happy now! Love is the only reality of the world, because it is all One, you see. And the only laws are paradox, humor and change. There is no problem, never was, and never will be. Release your struggle, let go of your mind, throw away your concerns, and relax into the world. No need to resist life, just do your best. Open your eyes and see that you are far more than you imagine. You are the world, you are the universe; you are yourself and everyone else, too! It’s all the marvelous Play of God. Wake up, regain your humor. Don’t worry, just be happy. You are already free!”
5) “Sometimes sorrow, sometimes joy. But beneath it all remember the innate perfection of your life unfolding. That is the secret of unreasonable happiness.”
6) “And so I awoke to reality, free of any meaning or any search. What could there possibly be to search for? All of Socrate’s words had come alive with my death. This was the paradox of it all, the humor of it all, and the great change. All searches, all achievements, all goals, were equally enjoyable, and equally unnecessary.”
7) “The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.”
8) “Act happy, be happy, without a reason in the world. Then you can love, and do what you will.”
Author: Ken Thompson
21 Ego-Defining Eckhart Tolle Quotes to Enlighten Your True Self
1) “The ego could be defined simply in this way: a dysfunctional relationship with the present moment.”
2) “Making yourself right and others wrong is one of the principal egos mind patterns, one of the main forms of unconsciousness.”
3) “In Zen they say: ‘Don’t seek the truth. Just cease to cherish opinions.’ What does that mean? Let go of identification with your mind. Who you are beyond the mind then emerges by itself.”
4) “The more people identify with their minds, the more they suffer…
…If the sufferer could look at her body without the interfering judgments of her mind or even recognize those judgments for what they are instead of believing in them—or if she could feel her body from within—this would initiate her healing…
…Those who identify with their good looks, strength, or abilities experience suffering when those attributes begin to fade and disappear, as of course they will.”5) “‘I’ always leads to suffering sooner or later. To refrain from identifying with the body doesn’t mean that you neglect, despise, or no longer care for it. Enjoy and appreciate its attributes while they last. Right nutrition and exercise too.”
6) “Your personality, which is conditioned by the past, then becomes your prison. Your memories are invested with a sense of self, and your story becomes who you perceive yourself to be. This ‘little me’ is an illusion that obscures your true identity as timeless and formless Presence.”
7) “The ego isn’t wrong; it’s just unconscious. When you observe the ego in yourself, you are beginning to go beyond it. Don’t take the ego too seriously. When you detect ego behavior in yourself, smile. At times you may even laugh.”
8) “Your Being then does not shine through form anymore – or only barely. Through nonresistance to form, that in you which is beyond form emerges as an all-encompassing Presence, a silent power far greater than your short-lived form identity, the person. It is more deeply who you are than anything in the world of form.”
9) “It comes as no surprise that those people who work without ego are extraordinarily successful at what they do. Anybody who is one with what he or she does is building the new earth.”
10) “When you make the present moment, instead of past and future, the focal point of your life, your ability to enjoy what you do – and with it the quality of your life – increases dramatically.”
11) “All truly successful action comes out of that field of alert attention, rather than from ego and conditioned, unconscious thinking.”
12) “To sum up: Enjoyment of what you are doing, combined with a goal or vision that you work toward, becomes enthusiasm. Even though you have a goal, what you are doing in the present moment needs to remain the focal point of your attention; otherwise, you will fall out of alignment with universal purpose…
…Make sure your vision or goal is not an inflated image of yourself and therefore a concealed form of ego, such as wanting to become a movie star, a famous writer, or a wealthy entrepreneur. Also make sure your goal is not focused on having this or that, such as a mansion by the sea, your own company, or ten million dollars in the bank. An enlarged image of yourself or a vision of yourself having this or that are all static goals and therefore don’t empower you…
…Instead, make sure your goals are dynamic, that is to say, point toward an activity that you are engaged in and through which you are connected to other human beings as well as to the whole. Instead of seeing yourself as a famous actor and writer and so on, see yourself inspiring countless people with your work and enriching their lives. Feel how that activity enriches or deepens not only your life but that of countless others. Feel yourself being an opening through which energy flows form the unmanifested Source of all life through you for the benefit of all.”13) “Each one represents a certain vibrational frequency of consciousness. You need to be vigilant to make sure that one of them operates whenever you are engaged in doing anything at all – from the most simple task to the most complex. If you are not in the state of either acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm, look closely and you will find that you are creating suffering for yourself and others.”
14) “Many people don’t realize until they are on their deathbed and everything external falls away that no thing ever had anything to do with who they are…
…In the proximity of death, the whole concept of ownership stands revealed as ultimately meaningless…
…They also realize that while they were looking throughout their lives for a more complete sense of self, what they were really looking for, their Being, had actually always already been there, but had been largely obscured by their identification with things, which ultimately means identification with their mind…
…‘Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs will be the kingdom of heaven.’
Poor in spirit means no inner baggage, no identifications. Not with things, nor with any mental concepts that have a sense of self in them…
…The kingdom of heaven can be the profound joy of Being that is there when you let go of identifications and so become ‘poor in spirit…’
…This is why renouncing all possessions has been an ancient spiritual practice in both East and West. Although this will not automatically free you of the ego…
…The EGO will attempt to ensure its survival by finding something else to identify with, for example, a mental image of yourself as someone who has transcended all interest in material possessions and is therefore superior, is more spiritual than others.”15) “Each person is so identified with the thoughts that make up their opinion, that those thoughts harden into mental positions which are invested with a sense of self. In other words: Identity and thought merge. Once this has happened, when I defend my opinions (thoughts), I feel and act as if I were defending my very self. Unconsciously, I feel and act as if I were fighting for survival and so my emotions will reflect this unconscious belief. They become turbulent. I am upset, angry, defensive, or aggressive. I need to win at all costs lest I become annihilated. That’s the illusion. The ego doesn’t know that mind and mental positions have nothing to do with who you are because the ego is the unobserved mind itself.”
16) “Ego is no more than this: identification with form, which primarily means thought forms.”
17) “The ego is always on guard against any kind of perceived diminishment. Automatic ego-repair mechanisms come into effect to restore the mental form of ‘me’…
…When someone blames or criticizes me, that to the ego is a diminishment of self, and it will immediately attempt to repair its diminished sense of self through self-justification, defense, or blaming. Whether the other person is right or wrong is irrelevant to the ego. It is much more interested in self-preservation than in the truth. This is the preservation of the psychological form of ‘me.’ Even such a normal thing as shouting something back when another driver calls you ‘idiot’ is an automatic and unconscious ego-repair mechanism. One of the most common ego-repair mechanisms is anger, which causes a temporary but huge ego inflation. All repair mechanisms make perfect sense to the ego but are actually dysfunctional. Those that are most extreme in their dysfunction are physical violence and self-delusion in the form of grandiose fantasies.”18) “An emotion is the body’s response to a thought…
…Emotion in itself is not unhappiness. Only emotion plus an unhappy story is unhappiness.”19) “In addition, gossiping often carries an element of malicious criticism and judgment of others, and so it also strengthens the ego through the implied but imagined moral superiority that is there whenever you apply a negative judgment to anyone…
…If someone has more, knows more, or can do more than I, the ego feels threatened because the feeling of ‘less’ diminishes its imagined sense of self relative to the other. It may then try to restore itself by somehow diminishing, criticizing, or belittling the value of the other person’s possessions, knowledge, or abilities. Or the ego may shift its strategy, and instead of competing with the other person, it will enhance itself by association with that person, if he or she is important in the eyes of others.”20) “All you need to know and observe in yourself is this: whenever you feel superior or inferior to anyone, that’s the ego in you.”
21) “The stronger the ego in you, the more likely it is that in your perception other people are the main source of problems in your life. It is also more than likely that you will make life difficult for others. But, of course, you won’t be able to see that. It is always others who seem to be doing it to you…
…The more the sufferer sees himself persecuted, spied on, or threatened by others, the more pronounced becomes his sense of being the center of the universe around whom everything revolves, and the more special and important he feels as the imagined focal point of so many people’s attention. His sense of being a victim, of being wronged by so many people, makes him feel very special. In the story that forms the basis of his delusional system, he often assigns to himself the role of both victim and potential hero who is going to save the world or defeat the forces of evil.”
A Parable on Peace: “This too will pass”
According to an ancient Sufi story, there lived a king in some Middle Eastern land who was continuously torn between happiness and despondency. The slightest thing would cause him great upset or provoke an intense reaction, and his happiness would quickly turn into disappointment and despair.
A time came when the king finally got tired of himself and of life, and he began to seek a way out. He sent for a wise man who lived in his kingdom and who was reputed to be enlightened. When the wise man came, the king said to him, “I want to be like you. Can you give me something that will bring balance, serenity, and wisdom into my life? I will pay back any price you ask.”
The wise man said, “I may be able to help you. But the price is so great that your entire kingdom would not be sufficient to pay for it. Therefore it will be a gift to you if you honor it.” The king gave his assurances and the wise man left.
A few weeks later, he returned and handed the king an ornate box carved in jade. The king opened the box and found a simple gold ring inside. Some letters were inscribed on the ring. The inscription read. This too will pass. “What is the meaning of this?” asked the king. The wise man said, “Wear this ring always. Whatever happens, before you call it good or bad, touch this ring and read the inscription. That way you will always be at peace.”
This too will pass. What is it about this simple words that makes them so powerful? Looking at it superficially, it would seem while those words may provide some comfort in a bad situation, they would also diminish the enjoyment of the good things in life.
“Don’t be too happy, because it won’t last.” This seems to be what they are saying when applied in a situation that is perceived as good.
…this story points to the fact of impermanence which, when recognized, leads to non-attachment. Non-resistance, non-judgment, and non-attachment are the three aspects of true freedom and enlightened living.
Those words inscribed on the ring are not telling you that you should not enjoy the good in your life, nor are they merely meant to provide some comfort in times of suffering. They have a deeper purpose: to make you aware of the fleetingness of every situation, which is due to the transience of all forms- good or bad. When you become aware of the transience of all forms, your attachment to them lessens, and you dis-identify with them to some extent. Being detached does not mean you cannot enjoy the good that the world has to offer. In fact, you enjoy it more. Once you see the transience of all things and the inevitability of change, you can enjoy the pleasures about the future. When you are detached, you gain a higher vantage point from which to view the events in your life instead of being trapped inside them.
I first heard this story from Eckhart Tolle.
30 Marcus Aurelius Quotes on Other People and Why You Should Focus on Yourself
1) “Don’t pay attention to other people’s minds. Look straight ahead, where nature is leading you, through the things that happen to you through your own actions.”
2) “When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and unfriendly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil.”
3) “Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?”
4) “God did not intend my happiness to rest with someone else.”
5) “Welcoming wholeheartedly whatever comes- whatever were assigned—not worrying too often, or with any selfish motive, about what other people say, or do, or think.”
6) “Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people—unless it affects the common good. It will keep you from doing anything useful. You’ll be too preoccupied with what so-and-so is doing, and why, and what they’re saying, and what they’re thinking, and what they’re up to, and all the other things that throw you off and keep you from focusing on your own mind.”
7) “You want praise from people who kick themselves every 15 minutes, the approval of people who despise themselves…why do you want approval from people who don’t know where or who they are on this planet?”
8) “The tranquility that comes when you stop caring what they say, or think, or do. Only what you do. Asking yourself: Is this fair? Is this the right thing to do?”
9) “Why do unskilled and untrained souls disturb souls with skill and understanding?”
10) “So other people hurt me? That’s their problem. Their character and actions are not mine.”
11) “So remember this principle when someone threatens to cause you pain: the thing itself was no misfortune at all; to endure it and prevail is great good fortune.”
12) “When someone seems to have injured you: ‘But how can I be sure?’ And in any case, keep in mind: —That he’s already been tried and convicted-by himself, like scratching your own eyes out.—That to expect a bad person not to harm others is like expecting fig trees not to secrete juice, babies not to cry, horses not to neigh—the inevitable not to happen.”
13) “When people injure you, ask yourself what good or harm they thought would come of it. If you understand that, you’ll feel sympathy rather than outrage or anger.”
14) “If they’ve injured you, then they’re the ones who suffer for it.”
15) “People do things that upset you, but it can’t harm your mind. People do boorish things, what’s strange or unheard of about that?? Isn’t it yourself you should reproach—for not anticipating that they’d act this way??—It was you who did wrong by assuming that someone with those traits deserved your trust.”
16) “Other people’s mistakes? Leave them to their makers.”
17) “Leave other peoples mistakes where they lie.”
18) “If anyone can refute me-show me I’m making a mistake or looking at things from the wrong perspective—I’ll gladly change. It’s the truth I’m after, and the truth never harmed anyone. What harms us is to persist in self-deceit and ignorance.”
19) “People out for posthumous fame forget that the Generations To Come will be the same annoying people they know now. And just as mortal. What does it matter to you if they say x about you, or think y?”
20) “When faced with people’s bad behavior, turn around and ask when you have acted like that. When you saw money as good, or pleasure, or social position. Your anger will subside as soon as you recognize that they acted under compulsion.”
21) “If someone despises me—that’s their problem. Mine—not to do or say anything despicable. If someone hates me—that’s their problem. Mine—to be patient and cheerful with everyone, including them. Ready to show them their mistake. Not spitefully, or to show off my own self-control, but in an honest, upright way. That’s the way we should be like inside, and never let the gods catch us feeling anger or resentment.”
22) “That kindness is invincible, provided it’s sincere—not ironic or an act. What can even the most vicious person do if you keep treating him with kindness and gently set him straight—if you get the chance—correcting him cheerfully at the exact moment that he’s trying to do you harm..
‘No, no my friend. That isn’t what we’re here for. It isn’t me who’s harmed by that. It’s you.’ And show him gently without pointing fingers that it’s so.”23) “That it’s not what they do that bothers us: that’s a problem for their minds, not ours. It’s our own misperceptions. Discard them. Be willing to give up thinking of this as a catastrophe…and your anger is gone. How do you do that? By recognizing that you’ve suffered no disgrace.”
24) “That you don’t know for sure it is a mistake. A lot of things are means to some other end. You have to know an awful lot before you can judge other people’s actions with real understanding.”
25) “It never ceases to amaze me: We all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.”
26) “The despicable phoniness of people who say, ‘listen, I’m going to level with you here.’ What does that mean?? It shouldn’t even need to be said. It should be obvious—written in block letters on your forehead. It should be audible in your voice, visible in your eyes, like a lover who looks into your face, and takes in the whole story at a glance. A straightforward honest person should be like someone who stinks: when you’re in the same room with him, you know it. But false straightforwardness is like a knife in the back. False friendship is the worst. Avoid it at all costs. If you’re honest and straightforward and mean well, it should show in your eyes. It should be unmistakable.”
27) “Or is it your reputation thats bothering you? But look at how soon we’re all forgotten. The abyss of endless time that swallows it all. The emptiness of all those applauding hands. The people who praise us-how capricious they are, how arbitrary. And the tiny region in which it all takes place. The whole earth a point in space-and most of it uninhabited.”
28) “To live life in peace, immune to all compulsion…Let them scream whatever they want.”
29) “Not to be distracted by their darkness. To run straight for the finish line, unswerving.”
30) “Don’t be put off by other people’s comments and criticism.”
17 Motivational Quotes to Keep You Going
1) Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.
—George Herbert
2) When obstacles arise, you change your direction to reach your goal; you do not change your decision to get there.
—Zig Ziglar
3) Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.
—Ambrose Redmoon
4) Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.
—C.S. Lewis
5) Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.
—Og Mandino
6) Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.
—Dale Carnegie
7) When something is important enough, you do it even if the odds are not in your favor.
— Elon Musk
8) The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.
—Confucius
9) The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.
—Rob Siltanen
10) Imagine your life is perfect in every respect; What would it look like?
—Brian Tracy
11) Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
—Steve Jobs
12) We generate fears while we sit. We overcome them by action.
— Henry Link
13) Energy and persistence conquer all things.
—Benjamin Franklin
14) For every reason it’s not possible, there are hundreds of people who have faced the same circumstances and succeeded.
—Jack Canfield
15) Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.
—Bradley Whitford
16) Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.
— Robert Louis Stevenson
17) A winner is a dreamer who never gives up.
—Nelson Mandela
17 Quotes That Will Inspire You to Live Your Dream
1) If you can’t figure out your purpose, figure out your passion. For your passion will lead you right into your purpose.
—Bishop T.D. Jakes2) Almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
— Steve Jobs3) I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing that I wanted to do.
— Georgia O’Keefe4) If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.
— Nora Roberts5) A year from now you may wish you had started today.
—Karen Lamb6) How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.
— Anne Frank7) Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
— Mark Twain8) You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.
— C.S. Lewis9) Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.
— Joseph Campbell10) When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.
— Helen Keller11) Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
—Arthur Ashe12) There are those who work all day. Those who dream all day. And those who spend an hour dreaming before setting to work to fulfill those dreams. Go into the third category because there’s virtually no competition.
— Steven J. Ross13) The Man Who Has Confidence In Himself Gains The Confidence Of Others.
— Hasidic Proverb14) The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.
— Amelia Earhart15) Follow your own passion—not your parents’, not your teachers’—yours.
—Robert Ballard16) All progress takes place outside of your comfort zone.
— Michael Bobak17) The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
—Lao Tzu
What’s Normal for the Spider is Chaos for the Fly
Nothing and no one is “normal”.
There are solely commonalities labeled as normal, and rarities labeled as abnormal, in relation to YOUR experiences...
Spiders build webs to catch flies and other bugs. Flies eat poop, fly around, and many get caught in spiders’ webs, which results in the fly’s death and a spider’s meal. It’s chaos for the fly, but extremely common for the spider.
The same notion can relate to humans – what’s normal for one human would be chaos for another.
For example, say JonJo grows up in a loving household where arguments almost never happen. JonJo goes over to his friend Willis’s house where Willis’s parents argue on the daily — this causes JonJo discomfort because it’s not what he is used to; this is chaos for JonJo, but it’s predictable for Willis.
Another example is in regards to the food we eat. Let’s say JonJo grew up in a household that eats a variety of foods, including all sorts of meats. Willis, on the other hand, grew up in a house that doesn’t eat meat, except for dog on occasion, as dog is a popular food in some countries. JonJo may see eating dog as chaos where Willis doesn’t, and I’m sure the dog sees it as chaos.
The main takeaway from this idea is that every“one” and every“thing” is trying to do things that are normal to them. “Normal” is a predisposition – it’s a concept that has been uniquely formed in each person as a result of the environment they grew up in and the experiences they have had.
This also relates to societal standards throughout time. What was once accepted as normal is now considered chaos, and some things that were considered chaos are now seen as normal. It usually depends on who is judging the experience, but there is an elusive objective perspective.
There is no such thing as “normal”.
There’s solely what is normal for you.
You are the spider AND the fly…
It just depends on who is doing the interpreting.
Perfection IS the Goal. Progress is what we get.
A lot of people say “don’t try to be perfect” but I disagree.
DO try to be perfect but FIRST DEFINE what perfect is for you!
Perfect is an ideal but it IS something to aim for.
If you don’t aim for the bullseye you’ll never hit it.
If you’re a pitcher in baseball you usually aim for the strike zone.
Pitchers aim for perfection.
Aim for progress and you’ll get less than that.
Aim for perfection and you’ll get progress.
Think about areas in your life that you would like to improve and then aim for the best possible outcome.
The more you aim for what you want, the more you’ll get it. Again, a dart thrower wanting to hit bullseye but never aiming for bullseye will most likely never hit it.
Of course not everything will go perfect, but if you never aim for it you’ll never come close.
Set your aim to the best possible outcome, take action, repeat.
Perfection is the aim. Progress is what you get.
A John Lennon Song for Dreamers & Doers
“Watching The Wheels” by John Lennon
Lyrics beneath the video! Enjoy!! :))
Full Lyrics:
People say I’m crazy
Doing what I’m doing
Well, they give me all kinds of warnings
To save me from ruin
When I say that I’m okay, well they look at me kinda strange
“Surely, you’re not happy now, you no longer play the gaaaammeeeeeeee”
People say I’m lazy
Dreaming my life away
Well they give me all kinds of advice
Designed to enlighten me
When I tell them that I’m doing fine watching shadows on the wall
“Don’t you miss the big time boy, you’re no longer on the ballllllllll?”
I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round
I really love to watch them roll
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go
Lost in confusion
Well I tell them there’s no problem
Only solutions
Well they shake their heads and they look at me as if I’ve lost my mind
I tell them there’s no hurry, I’m just sitting here doing timeeeeeeeeee
No longer riding on the merry-go-round
I just had to let it go
Well, there it is. Love this song. What’s your favorite part of this song?
Why It’s ESSENTIAL for you to Define Success
Why is it important for you to define success?
- It will determine everything you do
- Everything you do determines the quality of your future
- Your future always comes in the form of ‘today’
Defining success gives you an anchor to what is true to you. It helps you stay focused and puts you on a path toward your success.
“Where focus goes, energy flows.”
Tony Robbins
The term “success” has often been related to having a lot of money, but a more accurate definition of success comes from Oxford Dictionary: “the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.”
If success is the accomplishment of an aim or purpose then success must mean something different to each person.
Maybe success to one person is taking care of their needs while success to someone else is earning $1,000,000 dollars.
The person who defines success as taking care of their needs prioritizes that first in their life, whereas the person who wants to make $1,000,000 dollars may prioritize making money first. Someone who sees success as balancing work with passion will prioritize work with their passion, but in all scenarios each person is guided by what success means to them.
So instead of debating the question “what is real success?” Ask yourself “what does success mean to me?”
When you know what success is for you you automatically put yourself on a path toward that success, but there are distractions all around us. If you don’t have an anchor of what success means to you, to focus on, you’ll get pushed and pulled and never achieve success. Some people spend their entire lives wandering around this Earth questioning why they were never able to achieve success.
Don’t let that be you.