2 Ideas & 15+ Techniques to Help you Achieve a Clear Quiet Mind

“Our biggest mistake is that how we, as an individual, sees things, is the way life is. That’s not true. That’s one perspective out of billions of people on a planet in the universe. How could what you experience be true for everyone? That’s just ignorant to think that way.”

 

This summary & book (Clear Quiet Mind by Kevin Schoeninger) are guides for those who are looking for ways to attain a deeper inner peace, leading you to a more fulfilled life—being more happy, healthy, loving and wealthy.

All aspects of your life benefit from inner peace.

I highlight two main ideas from the book and within those sections I include many “how-to’s” and techniques that when practiced can help you obtain peace of mind and better life experiences. 

You don’t need to read the sections in any specific order—if there is a section that you think will help you most then go to that one first!

Table of Contents for this Summary:

1) Main Idea Number 1 —The way you perceive & think about Reality is unique and NOT how Reality actually is (Solution=Objective Thinking)

         1a) Perception in Politics

2) How to Take on an Objective Perspective

         1) Recognize & Accept that your personal perspective has been influenced & shaped by your environment throughout your upbringing

         2) THINK about specific experiences you would like to have more of, and then write them down

         3) Technique—Mental Rehearsal

         4) Technique—Making Conscious Turnarounds

         5) Write down small actionable tasks you can do to get closer to experiencing things you want

         6) Focus on what you are Thankful For

         7) Practice Self-Observation

8) 5 ways To Practice Healthy Detachments

         8a) Observe what you are doing from a place above and behind your head (The First Seat of Consciousness)

         8b) Laugh at yourself (this is one of my personal favorites)

         8c) Take a walk, exercise, change your posture, and move your energy

         8d) Journal

         8e) Detachment Drill

9) —Big Idea Number 2 — Life Is Communicating With You

         9a) Techniques & How To’s on Listening to Life

10) 7 More Techniques to Help you Live your Best Life

         11) Technique For Redirecting Thoughts: Mental Pause

         12) Mental Approach For Change: Take full responsibility

         13) Technique—Remind self of affirmations

         14) The Ultimate Release Technique: Forgiveness

         15) Technique: Rewriting the Past Technique

         16) Technique: Inner Smiling

         17) Mental Technique: Viewing tough times as opportunities

18) More Quotes

 

Kevin explains how peace of mind does NOT come from external circumstances; it is something to be had by practicing techniques (written throughout this post), which when practiced and applied to your life can help you have more of the life experiences you truly want.

Kevin dives deep into the human psyche throughout the book by using what he has learned in over 35 years of learning & teaching multiple fields of Mind-Body Training (Life Coach, Qigong Meditation Instructor and Reiki Master Teacher). He also has his Master’s Degree in Philosophy.

I have done my best to condense the almost 200 page book into an outline of what I think will best help you begin living a more peaceful life today…

..I can confidently say that if you take time out of your busy day to patiently practice some of these techniques, you will recognize yourself having less worries & truly enjoying more of the day-to-day tasks that you previously found to be tedious. 

If you’d like, you can buy the book here on Amazon.

Enjoy.

Main Idea Number 1—

The way you perceive & think about Reality is unique and NOT how Reality actually is.

We all perceive & think about reality in our own different & unique way.

The quote at the very beginning of this article talks about how our personal, narrow-minded thinking can limit our life experiences and therefore our happiness.

What is the solution?

Practicing Objective Thinking.

When you aren’t able to understand why a person does what they do, you are looking at life through your own personal lens and not allowing yourself to view life through their lens.

Our limiting thoughts become our idea of who we are, and what reality is, but our thoughts can not represent reality in an accurate way.

1a

Perception in Politics

A great example of this is in observing Politics. Politicians learn to speak confidently even if they are lying. They usually try to get people on “their side” and make “the other side” look bad. Instead of being objective and trying to truly see how they can help their community, country and world, they create an us against them mentality and only small and usually futile tasks are achieved. —This is not all politicians, but it seems to be a trend.

Can we one day genuinely cooperate & work together? Can we actually resolve negative situations?

*A way to resolve this is to take on the mindset of not viewing others’ opinions as ‘wrong,’ but just as different.*

Here are some quotes from Kevin that will help you begin taking on a more objective perspective:

“We believe that the way we think about things is the way things are—and if someone else thinks differently, we believe they are flat wrong. This leads to inner tension and outer conflict. It keeps us from expressing ourselves articulately and from working well with others.” (154)

“What if, instead of points of view being right or wrong, every point of view simply shows us some aspect of reality?” (154)

“What if we begin with each person sharing what is important to them, while the other people listen and ask questions to better understand where the one speaking is coming from? Everyone can then share their points of view with reference to the points made by previous speakers.” (154)

“What if our goal is not ‘Being Right!’ But, instead, coming to mutual understandings and solutions that honor each other’s perspectives?” (155)

“How might your discussions be if you start with these basic insights?:

1—Every point of view has something to show us.

2—No perspective contains the whole truth.”

“Once you let go of the need to be right, you can open to a much wider range of insight and information. You gain a deeper compassion for yourself and others.” (158)

How To Take On An Objective Perspective:

1

Recognize & Accept that your personal perspective has been influenced & shaped by your environment throughout your upbringing.

“Perspective is like a lens that offers a specific view of the world. It can be a collection of almost any number of preconceptions, expectations, thoughts, feelings, beliefs, desires, needs, moods, relationships, memories, physical sensations, and external circumstances which form your personal meaning context at a specific moment in time.” (11)

“Studies have shown that 90% of error in thinking is due to error in perception. If you can change your perception you can change your emotion and this can lead to new ideas.” Edward de Bono

Here are some questions that can show you how your perspective has been influenced by your environment. Answering these questions can help you gain a new perspective and lead you to living your best life on purpose:

What has been the result of living from this perspective?

Am I living a life I desire?

Have I chosen to surround myself with supportive people?

Practicing objective techniques (Below) can help you live a life you love.

Your actions are a result of your thinking, and if your thinking has been heavily influenced by your environment then how do you know you truly think for yourself?

You don’t need to be happy all the time—there are ups and downs in everyones’ lives—but you are the only person who can really know if you are living your best life.

Living as a product of one’s environment is easy, it takes little effort. Know that you have to put some effort into opening your mind to new perspectives and taking control of your life.

“What you focus on determines what appears before you. How you focus determines your relationship to what happens. Why you focus determines your energy, inspiration, actions, and results. And your conscious choice of focus determines the quality of your life and interactions with others.” (14)

Ask yourself, ‘What am I focusing on at this moment?’ Then ask, ‘What happens when I focus on this?’” (15)

**When we have any experience, the primary mistake we all make is to think that ‘the way we experience things is the way things are.’ … We absorb those beliefs, attach to them, identify with them, and live from them as if they are true, as if they accurately represent Reality. We then tend to think these beliefs will always be true and continue to act in alignment with them. Then, in turn, produces results in our lives that reinforce those beliefs.” (19-20)

Kevin talks about how when we live with our limiting beliefs we quickly tend to judge ourselves and others: 

“We see ourselves and others conditionally. Only if people behave in certain ways, have certain preferences, or conform to certain beliefs and values, are they worthy of being loved, cared for, and rewarded. Otherwise, they are excluded or punished.” (20)

“Instead of asking ‘what is the right way to look at things?’ Ask ‘what does this perspective show us?’

‘What does it focus on and highlight?’

‘What does it reveal?’

‘What is the result of looking at this situation this way?’ (22)

2

THINK about specific experiences you would like to have more of, and then write them down (Technique-Mental Rehearsal)

“Is there anything you hope or wish for but haven’t been able to do, be, or have? A limiting belief is hiding there.” (21)

Many people automatically focus on negative results, which makes them more likely to have negative experiences. When you are thinking about an experience you do NOT want to have Kevin says you should think about positive alternatives and make a new choice that will lead to a better experience—(Technique-Making Conscious Turnarounds).

 

3

TECHNIQUE—MENTAL REHEARSAL 

(165-170)

“The purpose of mental rehearsal is to consciously use your imagination to pave the way for the experiences you desire and to test options that might provide these experiences.”

How to Practice Mental Rehearsals:

First, define an experience you’d like to have and imagine any important details of this experience.

Second, in your imagination step into the scene so it surrounds you. Notice what it feels like to live in this experience.

Third test some potential options that might give you this experience and notice how they make you feel.”

Take back control of your life. Ask these questions:

“Is it possible to let others have their feelings and opinions without allowing them to determine what you think and feel? Can you let go of allowing the opinions of others to control you? Is it possible to stand strong for what you want in the face of criticism?”

Also “Write down any obstacles or objections to the option you are considering and how you might handle them.”

“To summarize mental rehearsal, the key is to define and imagine your desired experience in full sensory detail, step into it as if you are living it, and notice how it feels.”

 

4

TECHNIQUE—MAKING CONSCIOUS TURNAROUNDS

“When you are frustrated, sad, angry, or depressed, what do you do? Are you at the mercy of these feelings? Do they make you think you’ll never have what you really want and never be who you want to be?” (173)

Conscious Turnarounds help you empower yourself. 

How to have a conscious turnaround:

(174-180)

“Be real about what you are feelings and the thoughts that stroke this feeling. Don’t suppress it.”

See if you can observe all this without judging yourself as good or bad. Use your skills of mindfulness, acceptance, and detachment.” (Mindfulness, acceptance & Detachment are discussed in Step 5).

“Ask yourself “When did I start thinking and feeling this way? What event set these thoughts and feeling in motion?”

“Have you thought this way your whole life? Or did a specific event or series of events set this mood in motion? Most recently, what prompted you to think, feel, and act this way?”

“This experience does not represent the way things are, it’s just how you think things are.”

“Perhaps there are other ways of thinking, which would feel different, lead you to act differently, and create different results?”

Remind yourself of your limiting perspective. Think about experiences you want to have and welcome those new possibilities.

“Ask yourself, “If anything is possible now, what would I like to have happen?”

“Even if you’re not convinced that you can think, feel, and act differently, what if you could? Even if you’re not convinced you can have different results in your life, what if it is possible? What happens when you act as if things can change?”

…“Once you crack open the door of what if, and allow in even a silver of light or a wisp of fresh air, that sets the stage for new thoughts, feelings, actions, and results to appear before you. What might these be?”

“Ask, ‘What is one, small, very doable action I can take to move in this direction, to have a taste of this experience?” (This is Step 3, below)

As you ask these questions and take action you become an intentional actor in your life instead of a victim of circumstances. Continuing to view yourself as a victim creates all kinds of anxieties and worries. Kevin says that conscious action is a cure:

“Stepping into conscious intentional action is the key to transforming your anxiety into excitement, anger and judgment into loving acceptance of yourself and others, depression into inspiration, doubt into confidence, and fear into faith.”

If this were easy everyone would do it. If it were easy to let go of how you think things are, we would all do it. It can be difficult because our thinking has been conditioned and reinforced throughout our lives. The more you practice letting go of how you think things are, the more you will take on new perspectives and allow for better life experiences.

“Your thoughts, feelings, actions, and results form a perspective through which you perceive yourself, others, and Life.”

 

5

Write down small actionable tasks you can do to get closer to experiencing things you want

Example—After writing down specific experiences you would like to have more of, such as “I would like to work from home and travel, living on a beach in _(fill in the blank)_,” some small actionable tasks to help you experience that are: 

—Think about a subject or subjects that you are knowledgeable in. Write them down.

—Look up stay at home jobs in that field & look up the top influencers in that field.

—Read the top books(find at least 3 specific books) in your field of interest.

—Continually seeking out opportunities that would allow you to work from home.

*Never Stop Learning.

—Feel free to email me if you have a goal or goals and are having a difficult time thinking of actionable tasks to achieve it.

 

6

Focus on what you are thankful for

Think of at least 3 specific things instead of dwelling on something negative. This can quickly change your state of mind. Billionaire entrepreneur and coach Tony Robbins agrees and explains Here how to not just think about gratitude but feel and step into a grateful ‘state of being.’ He says that “Gratitude is the solution to anger and fear.”

 

7

Practice Self-Observation

Self-observation is your ability to adopt a ‘neutral perspective’ from which you can witness your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and results as objectively and honestly as possible—without judging them as ‘good’ or ‘bad.’ As best as you can, you simply witness what is.” (29)

Practicing self-observation includes using techniques that stem from mindfulness, acceptance, and detachment.

Mindfulness is your ability to consciously place your attention on something and be ‘present with it.’ — You are present with your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and results, moment by moment, without being caught up in and carried away by them. You are simply witnessing presence.” (30)

Acceptance is crucial because it enables you to look at yourself very clearly, instead of avoiding the truth because you don’t like what you see.”

With acceptance comes detachment: 

Detachment is separating yourself from your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and results.

Kevin describes detachment with: “You separate who you are from the thoughts and feelings ‘you have,’ the actions ‘you take, and the results ‘you get.’  You are NOT your thoughts, feelings and actions, or the results you bring. You are the one who ‘has’ the experience.”

8

5 ways To Practice Healthy Detachments 

(57-61)

8a) Observe what you are doing from a place above and behind your head (The First Seat of Consciousness) 

The first seat of consciousness is letting go of our thoughts and any associations we have as we experience a place just above and behind our head.

“For a few moments, you let go and your awareness ‘diffuses,’ so you take in the ‘whole field’ of this page, yourself, and the space around you.”

Kevin introduces and explains how to practice this seat of consciousness HERE.

 

8b) Laugh at yourself (this is one of my personal favorites)

“We all take ourselves pretty seriously..” This is true.

* “There’s a simple antidote: see what’s funny about what you’re doing, thinking, or saying—or make it funny.”

“Can state what you’re thinking in a funny voice and really exaggerate it. This can work well with a limiting belief, a fear, or something you really want to be right about!!”

“Bottom line is to find something funny about what you’re doing or make it into something funny to take the edge off your seriousness and let go of how tightly you’re hanging onto your point of view.”

 

8c) Take a walk, exercise, change your posture, and move your energy

“Take a deep in-breath as you raise your arms overhead. 

“If you really need an attitude adjustment, try more vigorous exercise.”

 

8d) Journal 

“When you journal, try writing down exactly what you are thinking and feeling, without judgment, nonstop, until you feel you’ve gotten it all out.”

“When you’re done writing, you may want to rip up what you’ve written, or burn it, to symbolize that those thoughts and feelings have run their course.”

 

8e) Detachment Drill

“Detachment Drill is something you can say to yourself, over and over, to imprint the idea that you are not defined by your current perspective. When you realize that you are much more than anything you think, feel, and do or anything that happens to you—this helps you detach and let go.”

As you practice detachment techniques you will be able to realize that you are not your thoughts. Thoughts are only one aspect to any individual—they are not the whole individual. Who you truly are is beyond thoughts, which is hard to understand because as humans we are constantly thinking.

You are the universe experiencing itself through the perspective of the physical body you are in.

When you begin recognizing how your perspective is shaping your experiences, you will be able to better shape & change your perspective so that you are able to make choices that lead you to experiences you truly want to have.

“Keep in mind that your limiting perspective is not a solid, unchanging thing. It is more like a tendency, a preference, a habit, and one that isn’t giving you the results you desire.” (34)

Know that your limiting perspective is temporary and only thoughts that have been reinforced. It can be changed.

Many people are comfortable in their pain, so they hold on to their limiting perspectives:

“If you strongly identify with your limiting perspective, think it is a permanent quality that defines you, or think it is the ‘true and right way,’ to see things, you make it more real and substantial than it really is. It becomes negative force in your life and strongly determines the results you get.” (35)

So detachment is a lot about letting go of limiting perspectives so that you can have experiences you actually want to have.

When applying self-observation:

“You become a magnet for better experiences and discover that you have a lot more power to influence what happens than you thought. As a result of these experiences, you tend to feel more grateful and at ease no matter what happens.” (48)

 

9

—Big Idea Number 2 — 

Life Is Communicating With You

(117-137)

In this section you will find quotes & ideas that can help you understand that life is communicating with you. People who ignore what life is telling them usually aren’t happy for long, but if you truly learn to listen to life, happiness happens.

This life-force is “An invisible life-force that has come in many names through many religions. This Life-Force is the Divine Breath that animates and connects us all.”

We experience this life-force all the time but we just don’t usually recognize it.

“Have you ever felt the presence of someone who just walked into a room? Or have you felt uneasy or deeply relaxed when entering a room? Do you get a feeling about a person when you meet them, without even knowing anything about them?”

These energies are life communicating with you.

9a

Techniques & How To’s on Listening to Life:

Breathing is one of the best techniques for activating the life-force. Breathing is the most primary event happening in the present moment that is keeping you alive.”

To practice breathing, find a quiet place as you sit comfortably upright. Don’t try to force breathing, but focus on the sensations inside your body:

“Allow your mind to rest on any sensations that draw your attention. See if it’s possible to simply be aware of how your breathing presents itself, without trying to feel anything specific and without trying to make anything happen. Just pay attention and notice any sensations of breathing..”

“See if you can maintain an attitude of ‘waiting on your breath’ and ‘following it’ just as it is.”

“To help you, can mentally repeat ‘breathe In’ when inhaling, then ‘breathe out’ when exhaling.”

“Or can say ‘Re’ when inhaling then ‘lax’ when exhaling. Many people find an anchoring word or phrase is soothing and helps them focus.”

As you breathe, ‘feel that you’re welcoming the Universal Life-force into yourself as you inhale and imagine that you are breathing out feelings of appreciation and gratitude for this gift of life as you exhale.”

“What if you relax and trust the flow of life through you, rather than trying so hard to make things happen, because you believe it’s all up to you and you have to do it on your own?”

Letting go and trusting life will give you a more abundant, healthy and peaceful life.

As you begin listening more to life as it communicates to you, you will be able to welcome new possibilities into your life:

“This is a powerful gift of a clear quiet mind—the ability to receive intuitive insight and guidance….your mind is in a state in which intuitive wisdom naturally arises.”

“You can use your analytical mind to gather date, assess pros and cons, and weigh alternatives. Then once you’ve done this preliminary research, it’s time to set your intuitive mind to work.”

“What if you pick up on everything that is happening around you because you are, in fact, interacting with everything energetically? What if you are not aware of these interactions simply because these exchanges are invisible to your eyes and you have not tuned into and cultivated your ability to sense energy?”

“With practice, this type of information can become a source of profound guidance. Receiving this guidance brings a sense of magic and spiritual comfort to life. It gives you the feeling that everything is set up just the way it is meant to be—and that all is well.”

“A nice analogy here is to imagine your mind as the sky. When the sky is clear, it’s easy to see individual clouds floating by. If your mind’s sky is stormy, it’s a jumbled, swirling, confusing mass of information that can be overwhelming.”

“So the first step in discerning intuitive information is learning to clear and quiet your mind—To recognize where you’re coming from, let go of how you think things are, and return to your clear quiet mind.”

“In a nutshell, this is a matter of paying attention to what is happening in the present moment, noticing information in the many forms it might come to you, asking good questions about what you notice, and testing out the results and consequences in real life.”

“For example, Dr. Rossman, suggests that, if you become aware that you’re having heart trouble, you might imagine that your heart can speak to you. Ask it what it has to tell you, what it wants. If you have headaches, imagine that your head or brain can speak to you.What does it need in order not to hurt so much?”

“Good questions to ask: ‘What’s the message in this pain, anxiety, fear, irritation, or discomfort? What needs attention right now? What can I do about this?”

“A second way your subconscious speaks to you is through images. Do you notice any recurring scenes, scenarios, or images in your dreams? Do you notice the same images in your environment again and again? Recurring and attracting images can be signs that important information is available.

“Third notice signals in your environment. What is life showing you by what is happening to you? What do you hear others saying? What is life revealing about you by what is appearing around you?”

Journaling can help you put the pieces of this puzzle together. To figure out what life is telling you, write down everything that happens throughout your days—your thoughts, feelings, actions, experiences, etc.

“What if life is always guiding you to your next step? Imagine a possible step you could take.”

Again, Good questions to ask:

“What can I do about such and such?

What is the message in this experience?

What is important to know about ________?

What is my soul purpose in this situation?”

“Pay attention to insights arriving in your daily life, your dreams, and your interactions with others. You also might receive images or insights that don’t make clear sense at first, but, as you contemplate them more, they reveal new insights.”

“See if you can simply stay present with your inquiry, without rushing to have an answer. Allow it to resonate within you and imagine your inquiry sends out lines that connect with what you need to know right now.”

It’s important to stay present, open and aware without judging anything to really hear what life is telling you.

10

7 More Techniques to Help you Live your Best Life:

11

Technique For Redirecting Thoughts: Mental Pause

Kevin encourages readers to use the technique of a Mental Pause to redirect your negative thoughts to a better experience:

“Can be used in moments of tension, fear, anxiety, stress, and confusion…to practice mental pause, stop what you’re doing, take a time-out and insert a mental pause…. 

—Ask, “What am I afraid of at this moment? Notice the first thing that comes to mind.” 

—Ask “Is there anything I need to do about this? Does this relate to a painful situation from my past? If so, am I now ready and willing to let this fear go?”

“As you discover this deeper source of peace, you’ll gain a greater trust, faith, and belief in the benevolent grace of Life and be able to welcome new and better possibilities.” (52)

12

Mental Approach For Change: Take full responsibility

We know that the first step is to recognize the way you’re thinking. Now, take 100% responsibility for your perspective. Yes, our environment shapes us, but now that you know that it shapes you, it’s time for you to shape yourself.

“Only when you take full responsibility for how you are thinking about things are you able to let go of thoughts that no longer serve you.”

Lasting results come from inner work. 

“This inner work is not just for you, because, as you release your fear-based thoughts, stories, and beliefs, you add this ability to our collective consciousness.”

Detachment helps with this inner work—“Detachment is simply stepping outside your current perspective, so you can let go, gain new insight, and welcome new possibilities.” (57)

13

Technique—Remind self of affirmations:

—“I have thoughts and opinions, and I am more than these. I am a conscious observer who can entertain many different thoughts and choose the ones that work best at any given moment.”

—“I have emotions and feelings, and I am more than these. I can explore the energy and information in emotions to better understand myself and others.”

—“I have interests and desires, and I am more than these. I can use my interests and desires as information to steer me toward what I am here to do.”

—“I have a body, and I am more than a body. My body is just a vehicle in which my soul has experiences.” 

—“I have experiences, and I am more than these. I am a witnessing presence who can choose how I relate to whatever happens.”

“Repeat this sequence (affirmations above^^) out loud or in your mind until you notice a shift in your consciousness—until you’ve really detached from hanging onto any way you define yourself that limits you. Then, notice how you feel.” 

I loved chapter 7 so much that I wrote an article on this chapter alone. You can find out more on the Myth of Perfection HERE.

14

The Ultimate Release Technique: Forgiveness

What is true forgiveness? And how can you really forgive? Read Kevin’s impactful view on forgiveness below.

“Forgiveness is an essential technique for letting go of any experience that has an intense emotional charge.”

Kevin has a good perspective on forgiveness:

“Before we explore what it means to forgive and why it’s so effective, let’s dismiss two common misconceptions about forgiveness that may hold you back from it—

—1) That forgiveness is about letting a person who did something wrong ‘off the hook.’

—2) That forgiveness means you are weak or ‘giving in.’

“Forgiveness is primarily about the one doing the forgiving. Forgiveness is something you do to let go. It is something you do to stop allowing the past to intrude on the present.

“It is about letting go of being defined and controlled by something that happened in the past. You forgive so you can move on. Forgiveness is a step toward your own personal inner freedom.”

“Forgiveness is an act of strength. It is saying to yourself, ‘I will not be controlled by what happened to me in the past. I will not be a victim. I choose to let go, so I can move forward.’” 78

“Forgiveness may or may not be expressed to someone else. You don’t need to say: ‘I forgive you for _____’ you can forgive them for yourself as you say it to yourself.”

Many times people unintentionally hurt another person because of something going on inside of them. Practice not taking your pains personally:

“That doesn’t mean that what they did was right, or excusable, or in any way acceptable to you. They may have been completely misguided. However, what if what they did was an expression of where they were coming from at that moment—and that was about them.” 79

“What they did might have been a retaliation for something you did that was unfair, uncaring, dishonest, or harmful. Is there something you did, said, thought, or felt that played into what happened?”

Kevin also talks about the importance of forgiving yourself. He asks readers, “Is there something you need to forgive yourself for?”

“Forgiveness happens in layers over time — You’ll know when its been effective. You’ll feel an inner freedom that wasn’t there before. You may also sense a clearing in the relationship with you and the others involved.”

Forgiveness can be a process that takes time. It can take multiple efforts and progressive insights & results for real forgiveness to happen.

Doc Childre said “If you stop traveling down those pathways, they’ll soon give way to the new patterns you’re creating, but it takes repetition.”

How to Practice Forgiveness:

“Forgiveness, in our context, is letting go of anger, resentment, blame, or indignation toward yourself and others for perceived wrongdoing.” 80

You forgive not because what was done was OK, or in any way acceptable, but simply because forgiveness will help you to heal, move on, and journey forward. Regardless of the potential impact on others (which can be powerful), forgiveness of others and yourself is most important for what it does for you, the person doing the forgiving.” 80

It’s normal to feel resistance to forgiveness.

Kevin invites you to practice forgiveness using a meditative journaling process called “Rewriting the Past.” Rewriting the past helps you call to mind a past event and view it in a new healthier and objective perspective.

15

Technique: Rewriting the Past Technique

How to Rewrite the Past:

(80-87)

“Find yourself a quiet private environment and commit 20 minutes to do this. Turn off your phone.”

1) Begin by consciously relaxing

—Imagine your body parts completely relaxed. Feel them relaxed. “Take a few slow, deep breaths and feel the sensations of breathing inside your body. Each time you exhale, release any tension from your body with a deep sigh, ‘haaahhhh.’”

2) From this relaxed place, call to mind the past experience you would like to let go of and give it a name.

—Imagine where you were, who you were with, what happened, and how you felt. As you recall this event, accept whatever images, thoughts, or feelings arise.

“You had this experience, but you are more than this experience. It in no way defines who you are. You are a conscious presence who is more than any experiences you have had.

All feelings come and go. It’s OK. You’ll be fine. If you feel overwhelmed, take a few slow deep breaths to help you let go and come back to present-moment sensations in your body. 

3) Now shift to key components of the memory associated with this experience.

—Look back on the past event as objectively as possible, see it as a learning opportunity, forgive yourself and others, and, then, see the past in a new light.”

4) Forgive self for the part you played in this experience.

5) Observe self in new light. 

—Remember better moments/experiences with the people involved. Can you create a new memory in relation to this event in the light of self-compassion?

—Imagine and feel as if your whole body is filling with your breath. As you exhale, imagine and feel as if your whole body empties out.

—Other ways to rewrite the past include forgiving the other person or persons involved. Not because it was ok for them to do what they did, but for your healing.

Also see if it’s possible to remember better moments with the person or people involved.

Is it also possible to see this past experience as a learning opportunity? 

“Write down any insights about how this experience can help you be wiser or become a better person.”

Here is an idea of why we stress so much:

“We normally identify who we are with our body, our personality, our thoughts and feelings, what we believe, the roles we fulfill, and what we do. Because these aspects of our being are subject to change, decay, and death, we constantly try to make ourselves into something more substantial and secure. We are always striving to be, do, or have more. This fruitless pursuit keeps us in a perpetual state of stress.” (95)

Who is the “I” that is having the experience? It’s not your ego-it’s NOT who you think you are. Kevin calls this egoless state of mind your “clear quiet mind” (96)

This can help you prioritize: “What might you let go of because it’s not really that important? What might you choose to prioritize and focus on?” (107)

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Technique: Inner Smiling

(109-114)

Inner smiling is also a great technique to create better experiences and a clear quiet mind for yourself.

“Inner Smiling is a powerful way to heal your heart, reduce stress, improve your health and immune response, stay calm in the midst of chaos grow stronger relationships, and find clear intuitive guidance.”

It’s “Focusing on your heart while you generate these ‘core heart feelings.’”

“Using appreciation, gratitude, love and trust within the space of your heart shifts you into a state of optimal function and healing.”

Step to help with inner smiling:

—Get relaxed, imagine your favorite place. (Example- sitting in sun in warmth) Feel yourself smile and smile and feel gratitude.

“Imagine you are breathing warm, positive, smiling energy in and out through your heart…As you breathe in, imagine and feel you are welcoming warm, positives smiling energy into your heart. Appreciate and feel grateful for this soothing energy.”

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Mental Technique: Viewing tough times as opportunities

(141-150)

“What if these challenging moments are the ones that hold the greatest opportunity to break free from your habitual reactions? What if your most challenging struggles carry your greatest guidance and deepest connections?”

“Challenging emotions are portals to deeper insights and connections.”

“Doc Childre and Howard Martin of the HeartMath Institute describe the power of the heart: The heart’s electromagnetic field is by far the most powerful produced by the body; it’s approximately five thousand times greater in strength than the field produced by the brain, for example. The heart’s field not only permeates every cell in the body but also radiates outside of us; it can be measured up to eight to ten feet away with sensitive detectors called magnetometers.”

So remember that you have a limiting perspective. Don’t avoid your feelings or distract yourself. Limiting thoughts arise often. Once you recognize them you can move forward.

How you think things are are NOT the way things actually are. It’s just how things are for you.

“Place your attention in your heart, imagine you are breathing in and out through your heart, and allow your emotions to flow freely through you, rather than trying to stop them.”

Imagine yourself in a comfortable position. An ideal place. On a beach. A couch. Relaxing in a country you’d love to be in. A place that soothes and supports you.

Ask yourself what you need to do to move through this. What can you learn from this experience? How can you respond to this situation to move forward with meaning and purpose? Allow yourself to welcome new possibilities.

“Shrines of loved ones…We see them every day and remember that life is more than a few years in this body and we are always part of a larger spiritual family. The worries of life seem so much less scary from an Eternal perspective.”

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More Quotes

If there are any quotes in this section that have already been written throughout the paper it is because repetition is a great way to learn. The more you hear something, the more you are likely to learn it.

Perspectives, just like subjects in schools, are learned, which means that you can change yours with practice.

“Meditation also taught me about the diversity in myself. I can have a whole host of different thoughts and feelings—and none of these define who I am. I can inhabit any number of roles and engage in any number of different activities, yet none of these define me. I am something other than the thoughts, feelings, roles, and behaviors in which I participate.” (157)

“I am simply one who has experience. Objectively speaking, I am “a place” in the Universal Field where “experiences happen.” Subjectively I am a witnessing presence who can step into and inhabit any perspective that I choose in order to experience a wide variety of possibilities.” (157)

“Personal flaws can be doorways to greater awareness, as well. When we approach them with mindfulness, acceptance, and detachment, our flaws give us perspectives that lead us to specific insights or to develop specific skills we wouldn’t have discovered otherwise.” (157)

“Our personal quirks give us unique perspectives that widen the world. They also give us more appreciation for the quirks of others.” (157)

“Instead of hunkering down and being scared, defensive, judgmental, and angry, we can accept the diverse parts of our own experience—including our own feelings of vulnerability. We understand that anger and judgment are defenses that protect these softer sides of ourselves.” (158)

“Underneath our anger and judgments are feelings of wanting to be loved, accepted, safe, and secure.” (158)

“You can live in many different worlds —and these worlds change moment by moment, depending on what you focus on and how you relate to it.” (162)

“Houses are a great metaphor for perspective. A perspective is a point of view you inhabit that enables certain experiences. Perspectives include thoughts, feelings, memories, actions, and habits that form a point of view. A point of view enables you to see certain things and not others. It gives you a focus that supports certain types of experiences.”162

“So when searching for a house, or making any decision, here are some good questions to ask yourself: ‘What experience do I want to have? And “What decision best supports this experience?” (162)

“As one who has experiences, as a witnessing presence, you can choose to inhabit any perspective.” (185)

Kevin encourages you to think that everything happens for the benefit of the whole life-source:

“I believe the challenges we are having right now on our planet are doing exactly this—pushing us to evolve. What if Life is calling us to expand and grow, to raise our consciousness to a new level?” (185)

“What if all these events are coming up to make us more of who we are here to be?” (186)

“In the face of these challenges, (what if we learned to ) ask more empowering questions:

“What is this experience trying to tell me? If life is set up to always guide me forward, what is this experience revealing? What is it calling forth from me? What do I want to see more of in the world? How can I participate in this? How can I make a positive difference in my own life—and share this with others?” (186)

“What do you feel inspired to do? How can you act on this today?” (186)

“When you engage in conscious, positive, intentional action—even a little every day—it changes how you feel about life. When you make inspired action a practice, you no longer feel like a victim of circumstances. You realize you are a conscious creator who can make a difference. You are here to play your part, to take on your unique role. In the light of this perspective, your actions take on a life of their own and they carry you, and all of us, forward to places we’ve never imagined possible!” (187)

“From the deep inner peace of your clear quiet mind an abiding appreciation and gratitude for the gift of each moment naturally arises—and you realize you can welcome any experience you choose!” (187)

 

As you begin to live with more of a clear quiet mind, you are able to view life through a lens of love, being able to live more of the experiences you truly want.

 

Continue practicing techniques that help you deepen your inner peace. Good luck & I hope the best for you on your journey!

 

5 Life-Changing Takeaways from the Book, “Way Of The Peaceful Warrior”

Way of the Peaceful Warrior: A Book That Changes Lives

Book Written By Dan Millman

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Dan signing my Peaceful Warrior book!

Click on Dan’s name above to go to his website & learn more about him. (Also can scroll down to go straight to the 5 life-changing takeaways if you’d like).

Growing wise through personal and spiritual experiences, this story follows a World Champion Gymnast, Dan, who seemed to “have it all” in the eyes of society.  Even though he had everything he desired in the physical realm, he was still not happy.

I think many people can relate to this^.  We get what we think we want and then find out that it doesn’t bring lasting fulfillment. We hear about rich & famous people committing suicide, although many people often desire that famous/rich life. Dan is still alive & well today, but he went through many struggles to be able to live life beyond his ego.

I feel good, sometimes I don’t, ay,” said Drake in his popular song “God’s Plan.”

Everyone feels bad at times, no matter how much ‘success’ they have in this world. And it’s okay to feel bad, even though the media only portrays happy people having a good time. Remember that what you see on tv usually isn’t an accurate example of real life.  You can check out an article I wrote on accepting our feelings by Clicking Here.

Anyway, one night, while Dan was still in college, he went to a gas station after waking up in the middle of the night.  He met a unique old man who he named Socrates later on. (“Socrates” never told Dan his real name).

Socrates became Dan’s guru/mentor/teacher. Helping to enlighten Dan, Socrates teaches him many things throughout the book that ultimately opens Dan’s mind and allows him to awaken; to be happy now without a reason.  Like many people in the World today, Dan was living through his ego before he met Socrates.  He pursued worldly pleasures & accomplishments only to find out that those “fulfilling” moments don’t last.  Led by his teacher, Socrates, Dan is able to experience life beyond his ego, and live in peace.

The “living in peace” phrase just created another thought through me; we always say Rest in Peace when someone dies, but why don’t we ever say Live in Peace when we are living??

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Way of the Peaceful Warrior was one of the first books that had a big impact on my life.  I read it for the first time when I was around the age of 19, and have continued to read it again & again.

After I finished reading this book for the first time it immediately became my favorite book, and remains my favorite to this day. It opened up my mind to new ideas & a different way of viewing & living life. Way of the Peaceful Warrior has helped me live joyfully in the present moment, to be happy now without reason, to focus on things that really matter, to take action instead of dwelling in thought, to live non-judgmentally, & to live life in love.

I do not always remain in this state of bliss, but when I accept my feelings & situations as they are, this brings me peace. I shared this earlier, but click here if you’d like to read an article on this.

The author, Dan Millan, said he wrote this book “to inspire, uplift, and to remind readers of life’s bigger picture & higher promise.”  This book definitely inspired me & gave me more insight into the bigger picture of life.

Live the moment

“Be happy now, without reason, or you’ll never be happy.”

~I truly believe that this book should be read throughout schools all around the world.  The ideas & ways of thinking this book explains could benefit the education system & our future tremendously~

In this post I will summarize some of the main points of the Way of the Peaceful Warrior. I will discuss how I have been using what I’ve learned from this book, will provide you with many of my favorite quotes from the book that relate to each takeaway & I’ve added some thought provoking quotes from the book at the end. Thank you for reading & Enjoy!

**I also want to encourage you to not just read this, but to put these ideas into practice. Ask yourself, “How can I apply this to my life?” These life-changing ideas need to be more than just read. Be patient when practicing these, & continue to remind yourself of these ideas throughout your days for them to become second nature.**

1) BE HAPPY NOW, WITHOUT REASON.

  • Millman’s words helped me see that happiness lies in the journey, not in the destination.  Many people are working at jobs only to make money for retirement.  Retirement does not equal happiness. I have used this knowledge to do more of what I love & to practice being fully present in each moment.  I am able to enjoy the ‘little things’ in life, such as a cup of coffee, a book, playing basketball, teaching, hanging out with family/friends, and the list goes on.

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Why waste half your life doing things you don’t enjoy doing if you have an opportunity to do something you enjoy?

Happiness happens now, in this present moment.  The future never really comes, the future only happens as another present moment.

Here are great quotes from the book that can open your eyes to being happy now, without reason:

* “‘What do I do then, now? Where do I go from here?’ Dan asked Socrates.

‘Who cares?’ He yelled gleefully.  ‘A fool is ‘happy’ when his cravings are satisfied. A warrior is happy without reason.  That’s what makes happiness the ultimate discipline—above all else I have taught you.’”

“Reality never matched their dreams; happiness was just around the corner — a corner they never turned. And the source of it all was the human mind.”

“There is no need to search; achievement leads to nowhere. It makes no difference at all, so just be happy now! Love is the only reality of the world, because it is all One, you see. And the only laws are paradox, humor and change. There is no problem, never was, and never will be. Release your struggle, let go of your mind, throw away your concerns, and relax into the world. No need to resist life, just do your best. Open your eyes and see that you are far more than you imagine. You are the world, you are the universe; you are yourself and everyone else, too! It’s all the marvelous Play of God. Wake up, regain your humor. Don’t worry, just be happy. You are already free!” 

“Sometimes sorrow, sometimes joy. But beneath it all remember the innate perfection of your life unfolding. That is the secret of unreasonable happiness.” 

“You Don’t need a reason to be happy. If you do that reason can be taken away.” 

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“And so I awoke to reality, free of any meaning or any search. What could there possibly be to search for? All of Socrate’s words had come alive with my death. This was the paradox of it all, the humor of it all, and the great change. All searches, all achievements, all goals, were equally enjoyable, and equally unnecessary.” 

“Act happy, be happy, without a reason in the world. Then you can love, and do what you will.”

“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.”

2) You are much more than what you think

&

Live in the Present.

  • Our thoughts limit our experience.  When you can let go of your thoughts, you can be fully alive in the present moment.  The answers you seek lie beyond thought.

“My name doesn’t matter; neither does yours.  What is important is what lies beyond names and beyond questions.”

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“The birth of the mind is the death of the senses” 

^^ I’ve been realizing this more & more lately that we are most alive when we are not dwelling in thoughts.  We can take time to have rational thoughts, but take some time to meditate in nothingness.  Let go of your thoughts by focusing on your external environment.  Tap into your senses. What do you see? Hear? Smell? Taste? Feel?  Try to do this for at least a few minutes.

When you are only in your mind, thinking, you are never fully in the present moment. Practice focusing your attention to things outside of you.

* “Satori is the warrior’s state of being; it occurs at the moment when the mind is free of thought, pure awareness; the body is active, sensitive, relaxed; and the emotions are open and free.”

“Remember, every-moment satori.”

“The warrior is Here, Now.”

“You have to ‘lose your mind’ before you can come to your senses.” 

“Stay in the present. You can do nothing to change the past, and the future will never come exactly as you plan or hope for.  The warrior is here, now. Your sorrow, your fear & anger, regret & guilt, your envy and plans and cravings live only in the past, or in the future.”

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“Your business is not to ‘get somewhere’ — it is to be here.

“You have been immortal since before you were born and will be long after the body dissolves. The body is Consciousness; never born; never dies; only changes. The mind — your ego, personal beliefs, history, and identity — is all that ends at death.”

^^This quote reminds me of the philosophy stoicism. I wrote a post about it that you can check out by Clicking Here.

3) Life is much more than what you can think.

  • This book helped me view the external environment without judging it. Instead of looking outside & thinking “Ooo I love or hate this weather. There is a bird & a tree, and wow that car is going really fast,” I practice just looking outside & dwelling on what is, letting thoughts come & then go like passing clouds. I practice not judging things around me, seeing them just as they are, with no thinking needed. I am not like this all the time, but it is good to practice this technique!

“You now see everything through a veil of associations about things, projected over a direct, simple awareness. You’ve ‘seen it all before’; it’s like watching a movie for the twentieth time. You see only memories of things, so you become bored. Boredom, you see, is fundamental non-awareness of life; boredom is awareness, trapped in the mind. You’ll have to lose your mind before you can come to your senses.”

“You’ve become bored to things because they exist only as names to you. The dry concepts of mind obscure your direct perception.”

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“Like most people, you’ve been taught to gather information from outside yourself; from books, magazines, experts.  Like this car, you open up and let the facts pour in.  Sometimes the information is premium and sometimes it’s low octane.  You buy your knowledge at the current market rates, much like you buy gasoline.  Like this gas tank, you are overflowing with preconceptions; full of useless knowledge.  You hold many facts and opinions, yet know little of yourself.  Before you can learn, you’ll have to first empty your tank.

4) Actions are more important than thoughts.

“Your thoughts are like wild monkeys stung by a scorpion.”

Don’t believe everything you think; I have heard this phrase many times & it relates to this idea.

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We can’t always control what we think, but we do have control of our actions.

Yes, try to think positive & focus on the best, but don’t try to force thoughts away. Embrace them; let it come & then let them go like clouds passing by.

“You don’t need to control emotion,” Socrates said. “Emotions are natural, like passing weather. Sometimes it’s fear, sometimes sorrow or anger. Emotions are not the problem. The key is to transform the energy of emotion into constructive action.”

“Old urges continue to arise, but urges do not matter; only actions do. A warrior is as a warrior does.”

“. . Action always happens in the present, because it is an expression of the body, which can only exist in the here and now. But the mind is like a phantom that lives only in the past or future. It’s only power over you is to draw your attention out of the present.”

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Paying attention is also an action, and one of the most important actions:

“A Zen student asked his roshi the most important element of Zen.  The roshi replied, ‘Attention.’ 

‘Yes, thank you,’ the student replied. ‘But can you tell me the second most important element?’ And the roshi replied, ‘Attention.’”

Practice paying attention.

“Ultimately you will learn to meditate your every action.”

“Use whatever knowledge you have but see its limitations. Knowledge alone does not suffice; it has no heart. No amount of knowledge will nourish or sustain your spirit; it can never bring you ultimate happiness or peace. Life requires more than knowledge; it requires intense feeling and constant energy. Life demands right action if knowledge is to come alive.” 

“Full attention to every moment is my desire and my pleasure. Attention costs no money; your only investment is training.”

5) On Life & Death.

* “Experts devote their life to training. Masters devote their training to life.”

“I’ve tried to show you by example that a warrior’s life is not about imagined perfection or victory; it is about love. Love is the warrior’s sword; wherever it cuts, it gives life, not death.”

* “Everyone tells you what’s good for you. they don’t want you to find your own answers. they want you to believe theirs.”

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* “‘Why worry? Better to live until you die.  I am a warrior; my way is action,’ Socrates said. ‘I am a teacher, I teach by example.  Someday you too may teach others as I have shown you—then you’ll understand that words are not enough; you too must teach by example, and only what you’ve realized through your own experience.’”

“The World out there, is a school, Dan.  Life is the only real teacher.  It offers many experiences, and if experience alone brought wisdom and fulfillment, then elderly people would all be happy, enlightened masters

..But the lessons of experience are hidden.  I can help you learn from experience to see the world clearly, and clarity is something you desperately need right now.  Your intuition knows this is true, but your mind rebels; you’ve experienced much, but you’ve learned little.”

“Think of death as a transformation — a bit more radical than puberty, but nothing to get particularly upset about.” 

“Death is not sad; the sad thing is that most people don’t really live at all.”

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“Where are you? Here. What time is it? Now. What are you? This moment.”

“You fear death and crave survival. You want Forever, you desire Eternity. In your deluded belief that you are this ‘mind’ or ‘spirit’ or ‘soul,’ you find the escape clause in your contract with mortality.” 

“Wake up! If you knew for certain that you had a terminal illness – if you had precious little time left to make use of your life and consider who you are, you’d not waste time on self-indulgence or fear, lethargy or ambition.  You do have a terminal illness – it is death. Be happy now, without reason – or you never will be at all.”

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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed these book notes as much as I enjoyed the book.  I think many people can relate to this incredible story.

Let us be happy now, without reason, and we will live our best life.

You can purchase The Way of the Peaceful Warrior book from Amazon by clicking here if you’d like.

More thought provoking quotes from the book:

* “So I’m a fool, huh?” Says Millman.  Socrates responds with, “We’re all fools together.  It’s just that a few people know it; others don’t.”

“Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change, free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death.  But change is a law, and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.”

“Enlightenment is not an attainment, it is a realization. And when you wake up, everything changes and nothing changes.” 

“How do you know you haven’t been asleep your whole life?  How do you know you’re not asleep right now?”

“Understanding is the one-dimensional comprehension of the intellect. It leads to knowledge. Realization is three-dimensional — a simultaneous comprehension of head, heart, and instinct. It comes only from direct experience.” 

“Focus all your energy not on struggling with the old, but on building the new.” 

“Embody what you teach, and teach only what you have embodied.”

“Stress happens when the mind resists what is.”

“There are no ordinary moments!”

*Story about a younger traveler, Milarepa who has been seeking enlightenment everywhere.  He eventually sees an old man carrying a heavy sack down a mountain & thinks the man knows the answer to his question… 

Milarepa says, “‘Old man, please tell me what you know. What is enlightenment?’ The old man smiled at him for a moment, and swung the heavy burden off his shoulders, and stood straight.

‘Yes, I see!’ Cried Milarepa. ‘My everlasting gratitude. But please, one question more. What is after enlightenment?’

Smiling again, the old man picked up the sack once again, slung it over his shoulders, steadied his burden, and continued on his way.”

I had to read this story^ a few times before I understood it. I hope you can see it.

“Life is not suffering; it’s just that you will suffer it, rather than enjoy it, until you let go of your mind’s attachments and just go for the ride freely, no matter what happens.”

“If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don’t want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold on to it forever.”

“Reading the future is based on a realistic perception of the present.  Don’t be concerned about seeing the future until you can clearly see the present.”

“Meditating an action is different from doing it. To do, there must be a doer, a self-conscious someone performing.  But when you meditate an action, you’ve already released all thoughts, even the thought of, ‘I.’ There’s no ‘you’ left to do it.  In forgetting yourself, you become what you do, so your action is free, spontaneous, without ambition, inhibition, or fear.’”

“The journey is what brings us happiness not the destination.”

I hope you enjoyed the quotes as well as the summary! Now it’s time to put what you’ve learned into practice! Start today, ask “How can I apply these ideas to my daily life?” Let these ideas sink in to who you are.

I also recommend reading Dan’s second & third books in the Peaceful Warrior trilogy. (Sacred Journey of the Peaceful Warrior & The Hidden School) which you can purchase from Amazon if you’d like by clicking on their title.

Get the books from a library or buy them; either way it will be worth your while! I read both & thoroughly enjoyed them.

Happy Reading! I wish you well on your journey toward becoming a Peaceful Warrior.

3 Takeaways from Mark Cuban’s Book, How to Win at the Sport of Business

Billionaire and owner of the Dallas Mavericks, Mark Cuban gives insight into his success.  He started from the bottom now he’s where he’s at, and he’s lovin it.  Here are three key takeaways from his new book, How to Win at the Sport of Business:

1.Never Give Up

When Cuban was running one of his first companies, his secretary stole $83,000 dollars out of the $85,000 dollars they had saved.  Cuban tried to get his money back but it wasn’t possible.

Instead of dwelling on the problem, Cuban focused on the positives, and what he could do to continue to succeed.  He never saw or heard from that secretary again; she probably changed her name.

Anyway, Cuban being a stoic, a genius, and just being real with the situation said, “What’s done was done.  Worrying about revenge, getting pissed at the bank and all those ‘I’m going to get even and kick your ass thoughts’ were basically just a waste of energy.”

Cuban got right back to work, and he never stopped, just call him the energizer bunny.  Key takeaway is to be able to let go of people who have wronged you, and move on.  Taking time out of your day to try and get revenge is only a waste of time.  Let karma take care of it.

2.Become an autodidact

The most brilliant minds throughout history have all been in some ways an autodidact; that is, a self-taught person. Cuban himself is very much an autodidact, teaching himself how to program as well as continuously reading and learning.

Cuban reads multiple hours each day, and it pays off!  Literally, he’s a billionaire, and a lot of why he is so successful is because he consistently reads.  A huge take away from this book is to be able to teach yourself; learn how to learn.

If you don’t know something, stop sitting around doing nothing about it and research it!  Study it!  Whatever you want to learn is at your fingertips, we have the internet and Google!  Almost all the information we’ll ever need is online, and usually for free!  Be your own teacher.  Stay ahead of the curve.  Have the edge.

One definition Cuban has for the edge is: “Knowing that people think you’re crazy, and they are right, but you don’t care what they think.”  Get up early, stay up late.  Kick yourself in the ass before someone else does.

3.Enjoy the entire process

When Cuban was 23 years old he was sleeping on a floor. He was living in a 3 bedroom house with 6 people.  He was basically broke and lived off of happy hour food during that time.  He was having a blast though, not kidding, he loved it!

He got fired from multiple jobs but he was surrounded by great friends in Dallas and that made all the difference.  Now he owns the Dallas Mavericks, and has made the team and program better with his approach.  On this subject, Cuban says, “Start the day with a positive attitude.

You are going to screw up.  We all do.  But no matter what happens, every morning, the minute after you wipe away the crust from your eyes, remind yourself that you’re going to enjoy every minute of the day.  You are going to enjoy the twenty interviews you have.  You are going to enjoy waiting in the heat for your roommate to pick you up afterward.  You are going to enjoy realizing how frayed your collar has become and how sick you are of your one, lonesome tie.

You are going to enjoy all the bullshit you have to deal with as you chase your goals and dreams, because you want to remember them all.  Each and every experience will serve as motivation and provide great memories when you finally make it all happen.  It’s your choice.  What are you going to do?”

I hope these 3 key takeaways can help you as much as they have helped me!  If you would like to order the book from Amazon you can order it here: How To Win At The Sport of Business.  I highly recommend reading it however you can get it!

10 Best Tips from Tim Ferriss

If you are looking to escape your 9-5 job, you came to the right place.

What I’m going to share with you will help you on your entrepreneurial journey; no matter if you are just beginning or have “entrepreneured” for years.

Let these 10 insights from Tim Ferriss be a guide to the good life:

1. “Slow Dance: Have you ever watched kids, On a merry-go-round? Or listened to the rain, Slapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight? Or gazed at the sun into the fading night? You better slow down. Don’t dance too fast. Time is short. The music won’t last. Do you run through each day, On the fly? When you ask: How are you? Do you hear the reply? When the day is done, do you lie in your bed, With the next hundred chores, Running through your head? You’d better slow down, Don’t dance too fast. Time is short, The music won’t last. Ever told your child we’ll do it tomorrow? And in your haste, Not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch, Let a good friendship die, Cause you never had time, To call and say Hi? You’d better slow down. Don’t dance so fast. Time is short. The music won’t last. When you run so fast to get somewhere, You miss half the fun of getting there. When you worry and hurry through your day, It is like an unopened gift thrown away. Life is not a race. Do take it slower. Hear the music, Before the song is over.” — This may have been written by David Weatherford but I first heard it from Tim Ferriss.

2. “For all of the most important things, the timing always sucks. Waiting for a good time to quit your job? The stars will never align and the traffic lights of life will never all be green at the same time. The universe doesn’t conspire against you, but it doesn’t go out of its way to line up the pins either. Conditions are never perfect. “Someday” is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you. Pro and con lists are just as bad. If it’s important to you and you want to do it “eventually,” just do it and correct course along the way.”

3. “But you are the average of the five people you associate with most, so do not underestimate the effects of your pessimistic, unambitious, or disorganized friends. If someone isn’t making you stronger, they’re making you weaker.”

4. “A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.”

5. “If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is, too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.”

6. “To enjoy life, you don’t need fancy nonsense, but you do need to control your time and realize that most things just aren’t as serious as you make them out to be.”

7. “It’s lonely at the top. Ninety-nine percent of people in the world are convinced they are incapable of achieving great things, so they aim for the mediocre. The level of competition is thus fiercest for ‘realistic’ goals, paradoxically making them the most time and energy-consuming.”

8. “If you let pride stop you, you will hate life.”

9. “Role models who push us to exceed our limits, physical training that removes our spare tires, and risks that expand our sphere of comfortable action are all examples of eustress—stress that is healthful and the stimulus for growth.”

10. “People are fond of using the it’s not what you know, it’s who you know adage as an excuse for inaction, as if all successful people are born with powerful friends. Nonsense.”

Read these, and then read them again. These are the 10 best insights from Tim Ferriss. Please leave a comment adding additional insights from Tim or any from yourself that you have found helpful!

An Addition: Tim’s 5 favorite books include:

1) Moral Letters to Lucilus by Seneca the Younger

2) Surely you’re joking, Mr. Feynman by Richard Feynman

3) Zorba the Greek by Nikos Kazantzakis

4) Dune by Frank Herbert

5) The Effective Executor by Peter F. Drucker

I wish the best for you as you journey toward the life you desire.

Interview with Netflix Star from Last Chance U, Ronald Ollie

I had the pleasure of interviewing Ronald Ollie from Netflix’s new popular show, Last Chance U.  I was thrilled to have an opportunity to interview Ollie for many reasons.  Anyone who has seen the show knows that Ollie is a star.  I see the potential in Ollie and believe he will become a dominant player in the National Football League in upcoming years.  He is growing in character and skill, and is one of the most entertaining footballers in college football at the moment.

The show Last Chance U follows alongside coaches, players, games, and the entire 2015 football season of East Mississippi Community College (E.M.C.C.).  I hadn’t heard of this college before either, but if you are a fan of football in any way, you NEED to watch this show. You WILL enjoy it.  The combination of story development, pride, and vulnerability makes this documentary special.  I am not getting paid to promote this documentary by the way; it’s just really good!

Anyway here is my interview with Last Chance U’s Ronald Ollie:

Question 1: What do you look forward to most about playing for Nicholls State?

Ollie: “I look forward to growing more as a player and a teammate.”

Question 2: Did you always want to excel in football from a young age or did you have other goals/dreams & what were they?

Ollie: “No I didn’t.  Football was something that just happened, basketball was my thing.”

Question 3: If you could pick any team in the NFL to play for, who would it be any why?

Ollie: “Probably the Dolphins or Tampa Bay.  Or a team out in California just wanna see how beautiful the world really is.”

Question 4: Who is someone you look up to and why?

Ollie: “I don’t really look up to anybody but I do talk to God a lot to help me and guide me through things.”

Question 5: What was one of the most exciting times of your life?

Ollie: “One of the most exciting times of my life was winning a national championship in junior college.”

Ronald Ollie has had anything but an easy life, which you will find out when you watch the show.  But even through his pain and trials he shows up with a smile on his face and a passion for football like no other.  Follow his active twitter account @RonaldOllie.

I look forward to following Ollie, Nicholls State, E.M.C.C. and another season of Last Chance U when it airs again next year.

If you enjoyed this post and would like more posts like this please leave a like, comment and share.  Ronald Ollie is someone who should and will be known.

P.S. Here is a trailer for the documentary Last Chance U if you missed it above!

Think Big and You’ll Live Big

What does every successful person have in common?  They all think “BIG.”

The size of your thinking will determine your success.  Open your mind to see this truth now, or don’t, and continue living the life you have at this moment.  If you don’t like your job and want more from your life then REALLY open your mind to this idea.  You will watch your life prosper as you begin a journey to the life you dream of.

I’m sure you’ve heard that faith can move a mountain; that if you believe you can move a mountain you will!  This is true, but it is claptrap to think you can make a mountain move just by saying “Mountain move!”  That is impossible; people who think this way are confused with wishful thinking.  You can’t wish yourself into anything, but when you believe you can truly do something BIG, and I KNOW you can, the how-to-do it develops.  When you believe you’ll succeed you will begin to observe the best.  You will study how successful people approach problems and make decisions.  Belief is an essential element to success!!

Disbelief is a negative power.  When the mind disbelieves or doubts, the mind attracts “reasons” to support the disbelief*** When this thought first crossed my mind I instantly saw how I was already applying this to my life, so it made me reexamine my life.  Think doubt and fail.  Think victory and succeed.  BELIEVE, and watch your life expand tremendously.

Someone You Should Know: Derek Sivers

Writer, entrepreneur, musician, programmer, and student, Derek Sivers.  I first heard Derek speak on the Tim Ferris podcast, and thought, “This guy sounds very interesting.”  I had never heard of Derek Sivers before, but he is definitely someone worth knowing!!

I continued listening to Derek speak, and I took a few screenshots of his name on the podcast so that I would remember him and be able to look him up on google later.  As I looked up Derek on google I saw a picture of him that seemed appropriate to his voice as I heard him through podcast.

Derek has made millions of dollars and has given away millions of dollars.  He lives a life worth living.  His writings focus on the usable psychology of self-improvement, business and philosophy to name a few.

Out of the numerous amounts of writings Derek has completed I could write about them all, but I am choosing to discuss his notes on “How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want.”  This book and Derek’s notes remind me of the person Derek is, an open-minded, understanding, genuine illusion-breaking person.  One of these illusions is that we know our own minds more deeply than we actually do.  This can make your mind appear superior to the minds of others.  Most people will live believing their mind is superior to others, but Derek breaks through this illusion.

I was electrified when I received an email back from Derek this past week, but after reading his works it makes sense.  Mr. Sivers is a giver, he likes to connect with his fans and does the public a service by answering emails from mostly anyone.  So if you have a question for the down-to-earth millionaire, email him at derek@sivers.org.  I very much appreciate what you do Derek, and thank you for your humble lifestyle.

Here are some useful quotes from Derek’s notes:

“Your brain’s greatest skill is its ability to think about the minds of others in order to understand them better.”

“You are consciously aware of your brain’s finished products-conscious attitudes, beliefs, intentions, and feelings-but are unaware of the processes your brain went through to construct those final products, and you are therefore unable to recognize its mistakes.”

“Naive realism: the intuitive sense that we see the world out there as it actually is, rather than as it appears from our perspective.” (In other words, a person thinks other people are wrong for their views because their own views are “right”)

“Universal tendency to assume that other’s minds are less sophisticated and more superficial than one’s own.”

“Treat workers with respect, encourage them to think independently, allow them to make decisions, and make them feel connected to an important effort.”

“The social spotlight does not shine on us nearly as brightly as we think.”

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

“Engage the minds of others more routinely instead of treating nearby neighbors as mindless objects.”

“The expert’s problem is assuming that what’s so clear in his or her own mind is more obvious to others.”

“Politicians talk about what ‘the people’ want: the speaker’s own beliefs.”

“You define yourself by the attributes that make you different.”

“Nearly everything you know is secondhand: things you know only because someone told you.”

“You can’t judge another person until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.  You hear it so often because the advice is so routinely ignored-by the rich who judge the poor as lazy and incompetent, the sober who judge the addicted to be weak and immoral, and the happy who can’t understand why the depressed don’t just ‘snap out of it.'”

Action Cures Fear

Everyone experiences a great deal of unpleasant, embarrassing, and discouraging situations.  But unsuccessful and successful people deal with these situations in exactly opposite ways.

Successful people focus on putting positive thoughts into their memory bank.  Unsuccessful people dwell on unpleasant situations.  If you’re reading this right now you either want to be successful or are a good friend of mine, and hopefully both!  If you do want to be more successful then you should practice recalling pleasant, positive experiences and count your blessings! I’ve begun to practice recalling pleasant situations and I actually wrote down a few amazing experiences on a note card to remember!  I am very appreciative of everything and have to give some credit to this method.

Another practical thing you can do is to take actions that support your HOPE!  What is it you desire?  What is holding you back from reaching it?  What you hope for, you can have.  This method has been proven time and time again, but you still might not believe it, which is why you will stay exactly where you are.  BELIEVE. Act on what you hope for!  People who consciously think of their hopes and then act to make them happen are the people you see who are living their dreams!

The next time you experience fear, calm yourself.  Then search yourself for an answer to this specific question: “What kind of action can I take to conquer my fear?”  Here are some examples of fear and some possible action cures:

Fear Fear of failing an exam
*Action*Convert worry time into study time.

Fear Fear of things totally beyond your control
*Action*Turn your attention to helping relieve the fear of others and pray.

Fear Fear of what other people may think and say
*Action*Make sure that what you plan to do is fair.  Then do it.  No one ever does anything worthwhile without being criticized.

Fear Fear of people
*Action*Put them in the correct perspective.  A person is just another human being pretty much just like yourself.

We all experience fear in one way or another, but the most successful people feel the fear then do it anyway!  They take action! BE decisive!  Instead of dwelling in fear, take action!  Do something.  Recall pleasant experiences often and get going!

Tricks to Motivate Yourself

Do you have a lack of motivation?  Are you bored often?  Here are a few tips you can use to get your fire burning again!  Begin to live life passionately.

First, organize your life so you don’t constantly need motivation.  If work is a constant battle, perhaps it’s time to start thinking about a new job.  We all have to do things we don’t want to do, but if your job and/or life has become a chronic source of dull chores, you’ve got a big problem that needs fixing.

So do something  you’re passionate for!  When you do things you are passionate for, you will get into a state of “flow.”  Flow is the state where your mind is completely focused on the task at hand.  While there are many factors that go into this state, having the right challenges is a big part.  Set challenges for yourself that fall between boredom and a maddening frustration.

BUT, passion and flow can fail, and when they do, try these:

  • Go back to your “why.” Figure out why you’re working on the task at hand.  Is it for money?  Do you want freedom?  Do you want to give?  Figuring out why you do something will motivate you!
  • Plan to work for 5 minutes.  When you sit down to work for 5 minutes, you are more likely to kick-start a longer period of work!  And if you end up only working for 5 minutes at least you got something done!
  • Find out what the next step is.  What is the thing you know you need to do to complete your task?  Focus on that!  It’s okay to think ahead, but don’t focus too much on the big picture; break it down into smaller tasks and start there!
  • Develop a mantra; a few statements that focus your mind and motivate you.  I have recently been doing this and it has helped beyond belief!  Tell yourself statements like “Do it now!”  Or make a jingle in your mind, “I’m going for a run, I’m going for a run.  I feel strong, relaxed and confident, I’m going for a run!”  There are all sorts of jingles and mantras you can do.  Make sure it’s personalized to fit you!

Overall, start working more on what you love to do.  Take time to do things you are passionate about.  You WILL have to do some work that is very difficult, but continue to do what you love as a side job.  Once you start getting paid for what you love you can do it full-time!

Who I Am

You may say that I’m a dreamer.  I know I’m not the only one though.  This world is filled with dreamers, but it is also filled with realists.  Can you be a realist and a dreamer at

Dreamer.

At The Beatle’s Story Building in Liverpool England. (2013)

the same time?  I think so.

There are dreams each of us have every single day that become fulfilled, and there are dreams that are not fulfilled.  A lot of times we don’t see our dreams as dreams.  What I mean by this, is that most people expect to eat at some point in the day.  They dream about it, they think about it.  If they never thought about it, would they not eat?  You have to eat to stay alive, so why don’t we look at success as if it were dinner? If ya know what I’m sayin.  Need it, breathe it, think about it and be it.

There are also some dreams that some people may find unrealistic but that other people are doing.  If someone else is doing it then YOU CAN TOO!!  A few years ago I was presented with the idea of studying abroad.  This seemed like it could be a life-changing experience, and it was, but I will get to that later.  Looking back on what I did to make studying in England possible for a semester took effort.  It was not easy by any means, but it was worth it.  Paper work sucks, but sometimes it needs to be done if you want to do the things you really want to do.  I didn’t look at studying abroad as a dream until it actually happened, and reflecting on that experience makes me see that that is exactly what that was, a dream come true.  Many people talk about it, few people do it.

If you want something, go for it.  Work for it. Put in TIME and EFFORT.  Nothing worth having comes easy, but once you get it, the dream is something to be cherished forever.