Success

Finding Joy Now

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My focus shifts from one task to another as my thoughts wander and I drift further and further away from the present moment. 

This has happened to me many times and I’m sure will happen again in the future, but I have learned a few methods to finding and feeling joy in this moment right now.

Of course some people will say that to attain joy you need to exercise, eat healthy, don’t smoke, save money for retirement — to Do these things _________… and don’t do these things __________… Then you will be happy. And that’s just not true.

You either feel joy now or you don’t. It’s not something you will forever maintain once you accomplish this thing or that thing. It’s something to be had in this moment and to keep with you deep down as you journey through life. Even through the hard times that life brings to us all you will be able to remind yourself of the genuine joy you have. 

Joy comes from a multitude of actions and it’s unique to everyone. One big source of joy comes from loving what you do.

This is difficult in societies that tell us to live for the future – to disregard your happiness for 30-40 years and then you can be happy in retirement. It’s a lie and it has made many CEO’s wealthy.

I do believe in hard work and I believe in doing what you need to do to provide for yourself and your family, but in this internet age it is possible to find joy today while working toward financial freedom and other long-term goals.

Once you accept some inalienable truths you can experience a deep joy. Things such as: 

– Tomorrow isn’t promised.
– One day you are going to leave this planet forever (Memento Mori).
– This moment might be all you have.

Of course there are more inalienable truths, but these are a few that inspire me to find joy today, tomorrow, and throughout all the ups and downs of life.

Below are some exercises that have helped me and can help you. Each person is unique and will find joy in different ways so use what works for you.

-Remind yourself of a happy memory. Dwell in that memory for at least one minute.

-Remind yourself that the best times of your life haven’t happened yet. They are on their way.

-Think of someone you look up to as a role model. Remind yourself why you look up to them.

-Think of 3 accomplishments you are proud of that you have achieved in the past.

-Write down 3 things you enjoy doing – Can be anything – a sport, hanging out with people, going to a certain place, any hobby you have or would like to have.

-Try affirmations. Tell yourself “I am happy now. I am loved. I love life.”

-Think about what you would like to do if you didn’t have to worry about money. Remind yourself that it is possible to attain this in time. Don’t forget it.

-Observe your surroundings without thinking about them. Just see everything without labeling them for a few moments.

-Stargaze.

-Read something new.

-Surround yourself with a few objects that make you feel good.

–Text Call someone you love.

Your joy is to be experienced today. Of course you won’t feel joy in every moment of your life, no one does, but you can take action toward living a more joyful life. 

Achieve Goals with Focus

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My to-do list grows bigger and I start taking less action…

Am I the only one who gets distracted with all the “to-dos” and end up not getting anything done?

Sometimes I want to complete so many things that I end up completing nothing or going halfway on a task. This is when I remind myself to do less and Focus.

We are bombarded with numerous options every day of our lives. It can seem nice to have options but often the more options we have the more distracted we become.

So I ask myself, “What is a long-term goal I have and what do I need to do next to achieve it?”

I like this question but sometimes a clear answer doesn’t come to mind when I ask this. This is when Focus comes into play again.

At this point I think about a few things I could do to achieve my long-term goal. I might not be 100% sure about what to do but I choose an action whether it’s to write a blog post, create a video, work on social media, etc.

I follow one course until successful. I do it until it’s complete. And then I ask myself again, “What is a long-term goal I have and what do I need to do next to achieve it?”

What’s a long-term goal you have?

What actions are you taking to achieve it?

How to Succeed Through Failure

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Vincent Van Gogh, Michael Jordan, Thomas Edison, Stephen King, J.K. Rowling, Albert Einstein, Walt Disney, Steven Spielberg, Dr. Seuss, Oprah, Steve Jobs, Elvis Presley, Mark Cuban, and just about every other successful person.

What do all these people have in common?

Failure. Rejections. People doubting them.

But they also had & have perseverance & belief in their vision.

coacht.blog Van Gogh Quote.png

It’s more than a mindset.
It’s a pull.

Life pulls people toward their destiny but few people listen to life.

“Be in the world but not of the world.”

The world tells you to settle. 

Life, the infinite, gives you signs of what you should do—your passions, hobbies, interests, etc.

But the world tells you you can’t do that as a career.
They tell you you’ll fail.

And you will. At first.
But in time you will succeed.

“Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. One fails forward toward success.”
C.S. Lewis

• J.K. Rowling’s original Harry Potter book was rejected 12 times before it was accepted.

• Dr. Suess’s first book was rejected 28 times before it was accepted.

• Stephen King’s first book, Carrie, was rejected by 30 publishers before it was accepted.

• Oprah was told she wasn’t fit to be on television. 

• Steve Jobs was fired from the company that HE CREATED!

• Thomas Edison talks about failing over 10,000 times.

• Walt Disney experienced bankruptcy and a mental breakdown

• Vincent Van Gogh only sold ONE painting during his lifetime…He made over 900 paintings.

They never gave up because their purpose was never about “money.”

They “failed” over, and over, and over again, and again, and again.

Or maybe they just found a lot of ways that didn’t work.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Thomas Edison

“I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is a step forward.”
Thomas A. Edison

The world laughed at them. And they will laugh at you if you try to attempt anything great, anything outside the “norm.”

Laugh with them. It is funny. And it will be even more funny when you make it, because it’s not about the critics and it’s not even about you. Your life’s work has a deeper purpose. It is life living through you.
It is Love.

As you begin to follow your life’s purpose, and it is hard in the beginning when you are experiencing failures, but the pull toward your purpose will grow within you. Your vision will be tested but your belief in it will grow as you persevere through the difficult times.

“Gold is tested by fire, and human character is tested in the furnace of humiliation.”
Sirach 2:5-7

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.”
J.K. Rowling

Don’t fear failure. Fear never trying.

A research study found that one of the top 5 things a person on their deathbeds regrets is never living a life true to themselves.

More inspiring quotes to help you persevere through failure:

“The phoenix must burn to emerge.”
 Janet Fitch

“You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. It is good to have a failure while you’re young because it teaches you so much. For one thing it makes you aware that such a thing can happen to anybody, and once you’ve lived through the worst, you’re never quite as vulnerable afterward.”
Walt Disney

“Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.”
Dale Carnegie

“Failure after long perseverance is much grander than never to have a striving good enough to be called a failure.”
George Eliot

“Failure is success if we learn from it.”
Malcolm Forbes

“You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.”
Johnny Cash

“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”
Napoleon Hill

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.”
Steve Jobs

“I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.”
Michael Jordan

“Women, like men, should try to do the impossible. And when they fail, their failure should be a challenge to others.”
Amelia Earhart

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”
Robert F. Kennedy

“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, only this time more wisely.”
Henry Ford

“Remember that failure is an event, not a person.”
Zig Ziglar

“Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another stepping stone to greatness.”
Oprah Winfrey

“It is fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.”
Bill Gates

“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.”
Winston Churchill

“Success is never final, failure is never fatal. It’s courage that counts.”
John Wooden

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”
Dale Carnegie

“Failure is so important. We speak about success all the time. It is the ability to resist failure or use failure that often leads to greater success. I’ve met people who don’t want to try for fear of failing.”
J.K. Rowling

Doubt Breeds REAL Confidence

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“If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties.”

Francis Bacon

Have you ever been so confident in something & then ended up wrong?
I have. 

I’ve tried to put together a small table without following the directions & after failing I finally decided to use the directions.

An ignorant confidence does that to us all. Blind faith is easy.

Over the years I have learned that I know nothing for sure. I am confident in that and so I can live confidently, forever learning. Confident in trying something so many times, and failing, until I can do it with complete confidence.

Confidence is a great trait to have in all aspects of life, but HOW you gain that confidence is more important than “confidence” itself.

In a world that praises fake confidence & bravado, why and how can you use doubt to breed REAL confidence?

“The dumbest people I know are those who know it all.”
Malcolm Forbes

Remain humble —You stop learning when you are confident in “knowing it all:”

“Men cease to think when they think they know it all.”
Horace

“The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”
Stephen Hawking

Doubt can help you improve.
It’s a sign that there is something to learn, always.

Instead of having blind confidence in whatever it is you’re doing, question it & LEARN.

Do you follow directions when building things like tables for the first time?
I do now. Doubt guides me to follow the directions because I doubt I can build a table without directions if I’ve never done it before.

So why can’t we apply this idea to other aspects of life?

We can.

We can question things & look for answers until we learn what we need to to succeed & grow in that area. 

And no matter what there’s always more to learn!

Doubt allows you to think critically and opens your mind.

“If someone can prove me wrong and show me my mistake in any thought or action, I shall gladly change. I seek the truth, which never harmed anyone: the harm is to persist in one’s own self-deception and ignorance.” 
Marcus Aurelius

Having doubt will prepare you for anything you anticipate. Soldiers train every day to stay ready for battle, because if they had 100% confidence without training, they would fail. Doubt is a guide for them, as it is with all people.

“The greater the artist, the greater the doubt. Perfect confidence is granted to the less talented as a consolation prize.”
Robert Hughes

People who doubt are preparing themselves for the future, which is today. (Yesterday the future was today…)

“If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things.”
René Descartes

Some people don’t want to be wrong in the fear of looking stupid. That is stupidity in itself.

“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.”
Charles Bukowski

“The less people know, the more stubbornly they know it.”
Rajneesh

Ignorance is NOT bliss.

Doubt is a good thing.

It will lead you to a REAL, humble confidence.

Doubt will keep you learning and growing throughout all of your days.

“Uncertainty also relieves us of our judgment of ourselves. Then we don’t know if we’re lovable or not; we don’t know how attractive we are; we don’t know how successful we could potentially become. The only way to achieve these things is to remain uncertain of them and be open to finding them out through experience. Uncertainty is the root of all progress and all growth. As the old adage goes, the man who believes he knows everything learns nothing. We cannot learn anything without first not knowing something.” 
Mark Manson

“Always be suspicious of those who pretend to know it all, claim their way is the best way and are willing to force their way on the rest of us.”
Walter Williams

“The only thing I know is that I know nothing.”
Socrates

I can agree with Socrates in saying that I also know nothing.

You don’t need to fight doubt. It’s there for a reason.

Allow doubt to prepare you and guide you to real confidence.

The Question IS The Answer

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Will this article make you smarter?

Questions. Questions. Questions.

Everyone is looking for answers. No one is looking for questions.

But the answer is within the question.

Research has been done by scientists on the power questions have on human brains.

Questions trigger a reflex in humans know as “instinctive elaboration,” which means when someone asks you a question, the question takes over the brain’s thought process. 

Behavioral scientists Morwitz, Johnson, and Schmittlein did a study on this topic and found that asking people questions about their futures significantly influenced their decisions. This is known as the “mere measurement effect.” The study was done in 1993 with over 40,000 participants by asking them if they were going to purchase a new car within six months. This question increased their purchase rates by 35%.

Similar surveys have been done on the topics of voting, donating blood, exercise frequency, and more. 

Each survey found that all these behaviors can be increased by asking about them!

Your mind is powerful!

Research has found that the more the brain thinks about a certain behavior, the more likely it is that you will do it.

Thinking about something can change your behavior and sensations.

Imagine sipping some warm hot chocolate. 

Can you taste it? 

Can you notice your mind shifted its focus from where it was to the hot chocolate?

Your mind is powerful…

So if you never ask a question, you will never get an answer.

If you ask a negative question like, “why do bad things always happen to me?” You will get an answer, and it will reinforce bad things happening to you.

If you ask a positive question like, “how can I live my best life?” You will get an answer and it will reinforce ideas of how you can live your best life.

Questions are powerful tools you can use to live more of the life you want to live.

Here are some others who strongly agree:

“Problems that remain persistently insoluble should always be suspected as questions asked in the wrong way.”
Alan Watts

“Quality questions create a quality life. Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.”
Tony Robbins

“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.”
Voltaire

“It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.”
Eugene Ionesco

“Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”
Rainer Maria Rilke

“One of the many qualities that separate self-made billionaires from the rest of us is their ability to ask the right questions.”
Justine Musk

“Always the beautiful answer who asks a more beautiful question.”
E. E. Cummings

“If you do not know how to ask the right question, you discover nothing.”
W. Edwards Deming

“Life is an unanswered question, but let’s still believe in the dignity and importance of the question.”
Tennessee Williams

“I think that probably the most important thing about our education was that it taught us to question even those things we thought we knew.”
Thabo Mbeki

“He must be very ignorant for he answers every question he is asked.”
Voltaire

“A wise man’s question contains half the answer.”
Solomon Ibn Gabirol

“A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.”
Francis Bacon

7 powerful questions Tony Robbins asks to spark positive emotions are:

—What am I happy about in my life now?

—What am I excited about in my life now?

—What am I proud about in my life now?

—What am I grateful about in my life now?

—What am I enjoying in life right now?

—What am I committed to in my life right now?

—Who do I love? Who loves me?

What are 3 other questions you can think of that by asking yourself them will help you achieve a goal?

In All Things, Use what Works for You

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“Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own.”

Bruce Lee

How often have you been told what to do with your life?

Most people who give you unsolicited advice have good intentions but it doesn’t mean that what has worked for them will work for you.

“Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”
Paulo Coelho

It’s easy to get lost in all the things you “should do,” as people will tell you, while forgetting about what you actually want to do.

It can be extremely difficult when it seems like everyone else is doing what people say you “should do”, like going to college, but it’s not for everyone.

Here are some people who didn’t go or dropped out of college:

Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Ted Turner, Tony Robbins, Richard Branson, Ellen DeGeneres, Rachael Ray, Michael Dell, Jack Dorsey, Russell Simmons, John D. Rockefeller, Henry Ford, and many others. Find a list of 100 here.

Remember this quote from Mark Twain whenever you are thinking that you should be doing what others are doing:

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”

If you’re struggling in an area where you see others succeeding in, it doesn’t make you dumb, it just tells you that that area is not for you, unless you’re passionate about it. You can learn & master any skill you want through relentless practice.

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” 
Albert Einstein

A variety of life experiences & hobbies can help you figure out your passion.

Maybe it’s writing, acting, speaking, athletics, designer, teacher, attendant, horse trainer.

But people say, “you can’t do that, no one makes money doing that.”

Except they do…

If there is anyone doing what you would love to do, you can do it too.

You may have to take some side jobs as you focus on getting paid to do what you love, but if you are passionate enough about it, you will find a way.

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.”
Steve Jobs

You are unique.

People find the most happiness when they embrace their uniqueness instead of trying to please people & fit in.

Maybe you learn best visually while someone else learns best verbally.
Or aurally, physically, logically, socially, or solitary.

Which way is best? 

There is no “best.” There is only what is best for you.

Find out how you learn best & don’t judge yourself.

I think I learn best visually—I like demonstrations especially when I am able to get involved.

“Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.”
Benjamin Franklin

There are many crossroads in life, leaving you with multiple choices. The easy path is to follow what others are doing.

A nurse who spent years working in palliative care, taking care of people in the last 12 weeks of their lives, researched and wrote the top five regrets people have on their deathbeds.

The most common regret was “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” Find the article here.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Use what works for you, not what works for someone else.

Here are 3 more ways to live life you won’t regret

Quotes to help find and follow your bliss

“You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.”
Maya Angelou

“If it falls your lot to be a street sweeper, go out and sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures. Sweep streets like Handel and Beethoven composed music. Sweep streets like Shakespeare wrote poetry. Sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will have to pause and say, here lived a great street sweeper who swept his job well.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.

“The people who make it to the top – whether they’re musicians, or great chefs, or corporate honchos – are addicted to their calling … [they] are the ones who’d be doing whatever it is they love, even if they weren’t being paid.”
Quincy Jones

“There comes a time when you ought to start doing what you want. Take a job that you love. You will jump out of bed in the morning. I think you are out of your mind if you keep taking jobs that you don’t like because you think it will look good on your resume. Isn’t that a little like saving up sex for your old age?”
Warren Buffet

“I think the foremost quality – there’s no success without it – is really loving what you do. If you love it, you do it well, and there’s no success if you don’t do well what you’re working at.”
Malcolm Forbes

“When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bounds. Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.”
Patanjali

“The law of work seems unfair, but nothing can change it; the more enjoyment you get out of your work, the more money you will make.”
Mark Twain

“Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.”
Rumi

“Yes, I’ve made a great deal of dough from my fiction, but I never set a single word down on paper with the thought of being paid for it … I have written because it fulfilled me. Maybe it paid off the mortgage on the house and got the kids through college, but those things were on the side—I did it for the buzz. I did it for the pure joy of the thing. And if you can do it for the joy, you can do it forever.”
Stephen King

“I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”
Steve Jobs

Stop Looking Back & Live Life like you’re Driving

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I was driving on the highway yesterday as I adjusted my rearview mirror to the honking car behind me. I kept my eyes on the rearview mirror for too long and crashed, totaling my car and injuring my body.

This is a metaphor but very real in that it happens to people every day; you look back for too long, dwelling in the pain of the past as it becomes a habit & nearly impossible to look forward.

What happens when you look back for too long?
You crash.

It’s important to look back every now & then so that you can shift lanes & stay cautious without getting in an accident. Caution is important to moving forward, but too much caution will keep you where you are.

Sometimes by looking back you are just stalling. Sitting. Waiting…Waiting for something to happen, but nothing does, because YOU are the driver. YOU decide where you go.

But it can be difficult to look forward when this ruthless world is quick to punish…

…Especially when you find success.

When you find success you’ll find a crowd of cars tailing you, honking at you, craving your attention. They want you to look back. They don’t want you to follow your vision & move forward. They want you to remember all the pot holes you hit on your way.

How are you responding to the world around you?

Everyone & everything wants your attention. 

Are you giving it to them?

Or are you following YOUR vision?

You are the driver of your life. You are empowered.

Keep looking forward and I’ll see you on the highway.

Quotes on not looking back

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
Helen Keller

“There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”
C.S. Lewis

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.”
Albert Einstein

“The great courageous act that we must all do, is to have the courage to step out of our history and past so that we can live our dreams.”
Oprah Winfrey

“We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.”
Rick Warren

“If you want to live your life in a creative way, as an artist, you have to not look back too much. You have to be willing to take whatever you’ve done and whoever you were and throw them away.”
Steve Jobs

“Never look back unless you are planning on going that way.”
Henry David Thoreau

“If you look back, you’ll soon be going that way.”
Proverb

“We ought not to look back, unless it is to derive useful lessons from past errors and for the purpose of profiting by dear bought experience.”
George Washington

“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.”
Steve Maraboli

“I feel confident imposing change on myself. It’s a lot more fun progressing than looking back.”
David Bowie

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”
Mother Theresa

Here are 3 things you can do to live a life you won’t regret living!

How to Stop Comparing Yourself & Seize the Day

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“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.”

Coco Chanel

How often do you think about other people?
…Giving your attention to what so and so did or said.

I know I have struggled in giving my attention to others, comparing my life to theirs at times. I haven’t conquered this skill fully but below you will find ideas & resources that have helped me and can help you come closer to focusing on YOUR life.

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
Marcus Aurelius

It’s tough to only focus on what you are doing and saying, especially in this social media driven world that praises competition.

“The tranquility that comes when you stop caring what they say. Or think, or do.  Only what you do. Asking yourself: Is this fair?  Is this the right thing to do?”
Marcus Aurelius

Social media has become so popular that people can spend mindless hours scrolling through. There are some positive to social media but often, mindless scrolling, which is usually comparing your life to the lives of others, can result in depression & loneliness.

Here is an article discussing research showing how using social media increases depression & loneliness.

One quick fix to this problem is to delete any channels or feeds that make you feel bad about yourself.

Remove those accounts!!!

And if you wonder, “what will so & so think if I post this?” DELETE them!! 

“About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won’t like you at all.”
Rita Mae Brown

When you’re comparing yourself to someone else you are probably comparing in one of these two ways:

1) Comparing your worst to someone’s best.

2) Comparing your best to someone’s worst.

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
Steve Furtick

Comparing the beginning of a pursuit you have to someone who has already found success in that area is a sure way to fail.

Remind yourself that people put their best moments on social media. You rarely or never see social media accounts of the other 70-90% of that person’s life. It’s not always as good as it appears.

Many people also compare their highlight reel to others’ worst moments.

Remember, no one is perfect. You’ve heard it before and you know it but you might struggle with perfectionism.

Learn how to love your flaws & feel better by checking out The Myth of Perfection article here.

There will ALWAYS be someone you can compare yourself to that you will say is better than you, and will ALWAYS be someone you can compare yourself to that you will say you are better than.

Neither are true.

“Stay in your lane. Comparison kills creativity and joy.”
Brene Brown

Some techniques to help you stop comparing yourself to others:

—Bring your focus back to your life by thinking about 5 things you are grateful for today.

—Think about what YOUR strengths are.

—Don’t criticize others.

—Let the success of others inspire you.

—Learn to live and love with your imperfections.

—Love yourself. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a real best friend.

“I used to be afraid when people used to say ‘oh she’s so full of herself.’ And now I embrace it. I consider it a compliment that I am full of myself. Because only when you’re full, I’m full, I’m overflowing. My cup runneth over. I have so much to offer and so much to give and I am not afraid of honoring myself.”
Oprah Winfrey

There have been studies regarding the regrets of people on their deathbeds. One of the top 5 regrets they have is that they wished they lived a life true to themselves instead of what other people expected. Find that study here, as well as 3 things to do to live a life you won’t regret in 30 years.

One reason why people don’t live a life true to themselves is because they compare their lives’ to another’s life, focusing on other people and not themselves.

You just can’t live YOUR life when you attention is constantly focused on ANOTHER.

It is difficult though. If it were easy everyone would do it.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson.

^^It was true in the 1800’s and it’s still true today.

Many people claim to be living their own life but if you look at their lives you will see how much they crave fitting in.

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”
Oscar Wilde

If you are reading this then you most likely want to live a life without comparisons, staying true to yourself. 

I hope you have found something here that will inspire you to live a life without comparisons.

It’s possible.

Here are a few extra quotes on the subject of comparison:

“Don’t compare your life to others. There’s no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it’s their time.” Anonymous

“Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else.” Judy Garland

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.” Lao Tzu

“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” Ru Paul

“I will not reason and compare: my business is to create.” William Blake

“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.” Shannon L. Alder

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” Marilyn Monroe

“Our time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” Steve Jobs

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.” Brene Brown

“Don’t be into trends. Don’t make fashion own you, but you decide what you are, what you want to express by the way you dress and the way to live.” Gianni Versace

“Don’t waste your energy trying to change opinions…do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.” Tina Fey

“To love is to stop comparing.” Bernard Grasset

“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.” Steve Maraboli

“Don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people—unless it affects the common good.  It will keep you from doing anything useful.  You’ll be too preoccupied with what so-and-so is doing, and why, and what they’re saying, and what they’re thinking, and what they’re up to, and all the other things that throw you off and keep you from focusing on your own mind.”
Marcus Aurelius

Find more ideas & quotes in this article, “Dealing with Others’ Opinions & Actions.”

Carpe Diem.
Seize the day.
Get out there & live YOUR life!

The Ultimate Parable on How to Escape the 9-5 and Do What You Love

Posted on by in Lifestyle, Motivation, Self-Help, Success, Successful People and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

This story is an ideal representation of my blog’s theme: You CAN live the life you want.

It’s possible to discover your passion and get paid to do it! As you will see in this story.

You don’t need to immediately give up your current path but you also don’t need to spend 40 hours each week for the next 30-40 years doing work you don’t enjoy.

I first heard this story from Tim Ferriss, author of The 4-Hour Workweek.

Enjoy…

…Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Twenty feet and closing.

“Run! Ruuuuuuuuuun!” Hans didn’t speak Portuguese, but the meaning was clear enough—haul ass. His sneakers gripped firmly on the jagged rock, and he drove his chest forward toward 3,000 feet of nothing.

He held his breath on the final step, and the panic drove him to near unconsciousness.

His vision blurred at the edges, closing to a single pinpoint of light, and then … he floated. The all-consuming celestial blue of the horizon hit his visual field an instant after he realized that the thermal updraft had caught him and the wings of the paraglider. Fear was behind him on the mountaintop, and thousands of feet above the resplendent green rain forest and pristine white beaches of Copacabana, Hans Keeling had seen the light.

That was Sunday.
On Monday, Hans returned to his law office in Century City, Los Angeles’s posh corporate haven, and promptly handed in his three-week notice. 

For nearly five years, he had faced his alarm clock with the same dread: I have to do this for another 40–45 years? 

He had once slept under his desk at the office after a punishing half-done project, only to wake up and continue on it the next morning. 

That same morning, he had made himself a promise: two more times and I’m out of here. Strike number three came the day before he left for his Brazilian vacation.

We all make these promises to ourselves, and Hans had done it before as well, but things were now somehow different. He was different. 

He had realized something while arcing in slow circles toward the earth—risks weren’t that scary once you took them. 

His colleagues told him what he expected to hear: He was throwing it all away. He was an attorney on his way to the top—what the hell did he want?

Hans didn’t know exactly what he wanted, but he had tasted it. 

On the other hand, he did know what bored him to tears, and he was done with it. No more passing days as the living dead, no more dinners where his colleagues compared cars, riding on the sugar high of a new BMW purchase until someone bought a more expensive Mercedes. It was over.

Immediately, a strange shift began—Hans felt, for the first time in a long time, at peace with himself and what he was doing. He had always been terrified of plane turbulence, as if he might die with the best inside of him, but now he could fly through a violent storm sleeping like a baby. Strange indeed.

More than a year later, he was still getting unsolicited job offers from law firms, but by then had started Nexus Surf, a premier surf-adventure company based in the tropical paradise of Florianopolis, Brazil. He had met his dream girl, a Carioca with caramel-colored skin named Tatiana, and spent most of his time relaxing under palm trees or treating clients to the best times of their lives.

Is this what he had been so afraid of?

These days, he often sees his former self in the underjoyed and overworked professionals he takes out on the waves. Waiting for the swell, the true emotions come out: “God, I wish I could do what you do.” His reply is always the same: “You can.”

The setting sun reflects off the surface of the water, providing a Zen-like setting for a message he knows is true: It’s not giving up to put your current path on indefinite pause. He could pick up his law career exactly where he left off if he wanted to, but that is the furthest thing from his mind.

As they paddle back to shore after an awesome session, his clients get ahold of themselves and regain their composure. They set foot on shore, and reality sinks its fangs in: “I would, but I can’t really throw it all away.”

He has to laugh.

The End

I’m rooting for you.

Here are 3 ways to live a life you won’t regret in 30 years!

I include the top 5 things people regret most on their death beds in this article above, based on research!