Lifestyle

Space is NOT the Final Frontier

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As Columbus discovered new land so we too are seeking new land…beyond Earth.

Columbus is just the face of discovering new land—There were many others who ventured out in search of different environments.

(And please don’t bring any flags that only cause division and chaos.)

So what will happen if we do discover livable land for humans outside the Earth?

Will we be able to cooperate with possible alien life?
Or will we act as humans in the past, in fear, and try to take over their colony?

This is why we need to change what is within us before seeking new land.

Right now and throughout the past we observe separation & struggle in this chaos we call life. This will only continue if we don’t change what is within.

Miscommunications and misunderstandings divide us.

As we seek new land in space, it’s important to remember that quality of life is foremost, and we can only achieve that by working together, helping each other, and through cooperative education.

Imagine hundreds of years from now…Humans discussing the past, discussing the time and place we are currently in.

Will they talk of the chaos and separation?
Will they talk of how we changed & came together?
Both?

The frontier that needs to first be sought out is ourselves.

We must first change what is within us to change what is outside of us.

You are writing history with your life. 

How shall it be?

“We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.”
T.S. Eliot



Exclusive Justin Allen Interview

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If you are an athlete striving for the next level or someone who generally wants inspiration, Justin Allen offers timeless ideas for you.

 

“I’d like to share with those struggling that they ain’t gon’ give it to you. I’d like to let others know from experience that no matter how much talent you have it doesn’t mean it’s going to come easy. You gon’ have to work for it and prove yourself over and over to keep it.”


I had the pleasure of interviewing Justin Allen, a former New Mexico State wide receiver, brother of the New England Patriots Dwayne Allen, & recently featured on Netflix’s Last Chance U.

 

 

Allen is an inspirational mover in the way he propels people forward.

Authentic. Inspired. Mindful.

3 of the many words that describe Allen & his unshakeable work ethic.

Allen is currently working with the star of Netflix’s Last Chance U, Ronald Ollie, to get him in the best shape of his life in all aspects.

In the interview below you will see how these two met, gain more insight into who Ollie is, and get a glimpse into the mind of a truly inspired being, Justin Allen.

1) As a person who has been on both sides of the football field, what is your favorite aspect of the sport and why?

“My most favorite aspect of the sport is being able to impact lives in a positive matter through the process.”

2) What kept you inspired to continue working in athletics after getting injured at New Mexico State? What was the transition like going from being an athlete to training athletes? 

“I went into Depression after my last injury and training became my peace. The transition was smooth because they are similar I just don’t play in the games on Saturday or Sunday.” 

3) In what ways has being a trainer taught you about football that you weren’t as aware of when playing? 

“It honestly proved what I thought as a player to be true. Some coaches look for players who test out well but overlook the 4.6 guys that have 4.4 football speed. There is a difference.”

4) Is there one specific characteristic you have found that distinguishes the greatest athletes from the “good” athletes?

“Their Mindset.”

5) Speaking of successful people, do you have a role model?…Who?

“My older brother Dwayne Allen.”

And what are some characteristics they have that you work on cultivating?

“Staying true to who I am and not living outside of my means. He harps on doing the right thing at all times and genuinely helping others.”

What is your definition of success?

“Bringing out the best in those around you.”

6) What have you found many athletes struggling with?

“Most athletes struggle with the mental aspects of the game.”

How do you go about turning weaknesses into strengths?

“We build them up mentally to prepare for the worst, so when it comes, they’ve been there.”

7) What is your favorite quote and why?

“’WeALLEN’ Being ALL-EN is a mentality. It’s a journey, a constant quest that we are all on. When you are ALL-EN, it means you are prepared and equipped to be the best version of yourself. In order to be ALL-EN, you must be passionate, relentless, fearless, and resilient.”

8) In what ways has your brother Dwayne Allen, (Tight End for the Patriots), influenced your life?

“He taught me how to stand on my own two feet. He doesn’t make things easy for me.”

9) How did you become acquainted with Ollie?

“He came to get a haircut at my facility from Fade Game and others began to take pictures of him and I asked who he was because I had never saw the show that he starred on (Last Chance U) I later DM him on twitter asking what he was doing in Houston instead of being in school.” 

10) What is something you learned about Ollie that others should know?

“He’s well rounded. As we all know he’s a talented football player but he’s just as skilled as a music artist and actor.”

11) What do you love about training Ollie and others?

“I love the energy that Ollie gives off and his willingness to get better. He realized the opportunity he has in front of him.”

12) What would you say is your greatest accomplishment? What about that experience brings you joy?

“I would have to say my greatest accomplishment was creating a brand to positively change others lifestyle…helping others reach their full potential. It’s an unexplainable feeling, I want everyone to be able to experience. Nothing brings more peace or happiness.”

13) If you could give one piece of advice to a struggling athlete or anyone who wants to make progress, what would it be?


“Eliminate all distractions and things that don’t help them progress and grow.”

14) Is there anything you’re looking forward to in the upcoming years? Anything you look forward to most in life?

“I look forward to changing the culture through sports training and mentoring. I believe it’s the best unspoken discipline.”

15) Is there anything else you would like others to know about you? Is there anything else you would like to share?

“I’d like to share with those struggling that they ain’t gon’ give it to you. I’d like to let others know from experience that no matter how much talent you have it doesn’t mean it’s going to come easy. You gon’ have to work for it and prove yourself over and over to keep it.”

As Allen continues to inspire others he is also working on getting physically fit himself. No matter where he ends up he will undoubtedly help illuminate those around him.

I’ll leave you with a quote from Ronald Ollie during the most recent episode of Last Chance U

“It’s just love you know. Everything is love.”

 

 

Find Justin Allen on twitter here.

More on his elite worldwide training program, ALL-EN Sports, here.

Allen is also on the selection committee of the nation’s High School All-America Game.

Ronald Ollie Interview.

 

Awaken the Ego

Posted on by in Lifestyle, Motivation, Self-Help and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Because it’s sleeping..

Have you ever made decisions based on what you thought other people were thinking of you?

It happens to all of us at some point, but the funny thing is, if we knew others’ thoughts, we’d find out they probably weren’t thinking of us!

Many people rely on other people for a sense of their self-esteem and self-importance.

EGO in this article is defined as a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance. 

When we live by the ego our happiness depends on external approval. We will always be searching for more, wanting more, and never having ‘enough.’

The ego thinks in terms of how others perceive itself. The ego believes that you are successful when you have more or do more than another person. Our true self is happy when we are working on genuinely bettering ourself.

Comparison is a big disappointment & a quality of the ego. I have found myself to be much happier when I stop comparing myself to others.

Expectations can also lead to disappointment.

The moments pass you by as you await a ‘better’ future. This is a delusion that so many people fall into because when the future comes, are you enjoying it?

Or are you still awaiting a better better future? 

That’s the ego.

Why awaken ego?

Once it becomes awakened, it can’t fully go back to sleep/unconscious living.

All the answers won’t just come to you, but you will be on your way to a more intentional life, as I am on the same journey. Far from perfect but living and learning.

As you become more self-aware, aware of how you’ve been acting through your ego, you will begin to realize how much potential you really have and how much time you have been wasting on meaningless experiences.

I have wasted lots of time dwelling in wondering what others might be thinking of me. As I began to let go of what they might be thinking I have found myself feeling truly alive in bliss & liberation.

When you realize that even though your eyes have been open, you may have been asleep, you will begin to awake.

Explaining Precisely What Jim Carrey is trying to tell us. Plus Jim’s Illuminating Quotes.

Posted on by in Lifestyle, Motivation, Self-Help, Successful People and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Acting has become a gateway to enlightenment for the actor Jim Carrey.

A big influence in this awakening came from what he learned throughout and after his role of playing Andy Kaufman while filming the movie “Man On The Moon.”

As Jim played the character of Andy he realized that we are all playing roles in our day to day lives; that we make choices each day, either consciously or unknowingly, and these actions lead us to where we are right now. Jim realized that we can take conscious actions, like actors do when preparing for & playing a role, which will guide us to becoming the person/character we want to become.

Each of us can choose to be the hero of the life we are living in, but many people live life only as a product of their environment, reacting instead of acting.

Like I said, some of this realization came to Jim when he went back to being “Jim Carrey” after playing the role of Andy Kaufman for months. If he can make intentional choices to become “Andy Kaufman,” then who really is Jim Carrey?

He thought. Isn’t that just a name he has been given? Our actions are what define us and turn us into the character we are, and we are all taking several actions each day.

 

Jim has realized that he is not the name he has been given. That he is not limited to the words we humans use to describe and live “life.” Most people don’t understand this and think Jim is crazy, but he is just waking up to who we all really are and I hope you will too. This quote of Jim’s just below shows his understanding that peace is beyond words and the things we have created:

 

“The peace that we’re after lies somewhere beyond personality, beyond the perception of others, beyond invention and disguise, even beyond effort itself.”

We are all so much more than the names we are given and we can all be more than the product of our environment but most people don’t make the choice to be who they want to be.

You can.

Shakespeare said “All the world’s a stage. And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts.”

Jim is basically saying what Shakespeare said. Each day we all put an act on, whether we intentionally choose our act or not is up to us. Let these quotes guide you to taking control of your life, your “act.” Make a choice to become the character you want to be.

Below are some Jim Carrey quotes that may help you awaken to your true self and help you make choices that will lead you to living the life you dream of. Take action on your dreams. After all you are an actor of life.

“I’ve never been one to sit back and go, I’d better do what the audience wants me to do, because I don’t want to lose them.”

“It is better to risk starving to death than surrender. If you give up on your dreams, what’s left?”

“So many of us choose our path out of fear disguised as practicality. What we really want seems impossibly out of reach so we never dare to ask the universe for it. I’m the proof that you can ask the universe for it.”

“How will you serve the world? What do they need that your talent can provide? That’s all you have to figure out.”

“The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is.”

“I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which, was that you can fail at what you don’t want so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”

“As far as I can tell, it’s just about letting the universe know what you want and then working toward it while letting go of how it comes to pass.”

“I don’t believe in hope. Hope is a beggar. Hope walks through the fire, faith leaps over it.”

“Flowers don’t worry about how they’re going to bloom. They just open up, and turn toward the light and that makes them beautiful.”

“You are ready and able to do beautiful things in this world, and as you walk through those doors today, you will only have two choices: love or fear. Choose love, and don’t ever let fear turn you against your playful heart.”

“Life opens up opportunities to you, and you either take them or you stay afraid of taking them.”

“Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything, or creating anything. Period. If you ain’t desperate at some point, you ain’t interesting.”

“I’m making a conscious choice to see challenges as beneficial so that I can deal with them in the most productive way.”

“When things are really bad the only thing to do is laugh.”

“You can spend your whole life imagining ghosts, worrying about your pathway to the future, but all there will ever be is what’s happening here, and the decisions we make in this moment, which are based in either love or fear.”

“To find real peace you have to let the armor go. Your need for acceptance can make you invisible in this world. Don’t let anything stand in the way of the light that shines through this form. Risk being seen in all of your glory.”

“Fear is going to be a player in your life, but you get to decide how much.”

“This is the voice of your ego. If you listen to it, there will always be someone who seems to be doing better than you.”

“Beware of the unloved, because they will eventually hurt themselves… or others.”

“Fear is writing that script. And the working title is ‘I’ll never be enough.’”

“If you aren’t in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret.”

“Maybe other people will try to limit me but I don’t limit myself.”

“Originality is really important.”

“You’ll come up with your own style. That’s part of the fun.”

“I really believe in the philosophy that you create your own universe. I’m just trying to create a good one for myself.”

“There is a huge difference between a dog that is going to eat you in your mind and an actual dog that’s going to eat you.”

 “I’ve arrived at the place if I’m not taking a career risk, I’m not happy. If I’m scared, then I know I’m being challenged.”

If you know Jim Carrey you have probably heard this quote just below: 

“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.” (Is it that we all desire for more, yet when we get more there is another thing that comes to our minds that we want…Be happy now.)

“For the most sensitive among us, the noise can be too much.” (And it’s all just a bunch of noise, right?)

“My soul is not contained within the limits of my body. My body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.”

“We had problems like all families but we had a lot of love. I was extremely loved. We always felt we had each other.”

“I refuse to feel guilty. I feel guilty about too much in my life but not about money. I went through periods when I had nothing, so somebody in my family has to get stinkin’ wealthy.”

“I’m the first to admit this whole salary thing is getting out of control. In the final analysis, it’s still about the work.”

I hope you enjoyed these illuminating quotes. I encourage you to continue learning every day as you awaken to your best self by making conscious choices. This will direct you to living as your ideal actor in this play of life. Please share and spread the message if you see what Jim Carrey is trying to tell us!!

3 Ways To Live a Life You Won’t Regret in 30 Years

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Scientific research has been collected from hospice workers who have asked people on their death beds what their biggest regrets were. They came up with the top 5 things people most regret which are listed at the bottom of this page. The 3 I discuss are intertwined with the top 5 & this list can help spark the inspiration needed for you to begin living your best life! A life you can reflect on daily and you won’t regret it years from now.

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Dance like no one’s watching 😉

Number 1) Do what you Love!

Don’t waste your life spending all your time at a job you hate! Try out all sorts of things to see what you enjoy doing most. If someone is an expert in the subject you love then you can too! It’s possible. This article can help you figure out what you really would like to do in life.

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Great times in Venezuela!

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Spring Break 2015

Forbes discusses statistics here where 71% of employees in America hate their jobs… So most people would rather spend their entire life working a job they hate just so they can keep living, which is to keep working until they can possibly retire. Are you living to work or working to live? Choose to live now.

When you do what you love you feel better about yourself & have a stronger connection with a higher purpose. Take time out of your day to do more of what you love!

2) Don’t live for the approval of others.

“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” Aristotle

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Paris 2013

Many people never follow their dreams because they are so afraid of what other people will think about them. Someone whose main goal in life is to impress other people will one day end up reflecting on so many meaningless interactions that could have been spent in a joyous more fulfilling way. The funny thing is, no matter what you do or how nice you are people will still disagree with you. People will criticize, complain & try to bring you down.

Are you choosing to live small? Or are you letting the light that is within all of us shine?

If you live based off of other people’s opinions you will never be right. There will always be someone who finds fault in what you choose to do so you need to do work that matters to you! Allow your beliefs to guide you, not anyone else’s.

3) Make A Choice

“Not making a choice is still making a choice.” Unknown

When you don’t choose, you are making the choice Not to choose! You are leaving the situation up to fate instead of taking control of it yourself.

You are making choices every single day! But most of the choices you make are habitual such as “Do I stay with my job or take the risk of following my dream?

Have you asked yourself that question?^^

You have a choice about your job. You have a choice with who your friends are. You have a choice about your relationship. 

When you stay with someone or stay in a place that you dread, it’s time for some change. Where do you feel like you’re being called? What would you do if you could spend your days doing anything you want? I’m sure there are opportunities to get experience & get paid to do what you love.

Feel free to email me if you are wondering how you can begin living a life that you truly love.

Make a choice. Act on that choice then let it go & move on. There are more choices to be made. If you never choose, you’ll be exactly where you are for your entire life…

The choice is yours.

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Cheers Dublin, Ireland

How do you make a choice?

Make choices that lead you closer to where & who you want to be and what you want to achieve.

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” Nelson Mandela

“Everything in your life is a reflection of a choice you have made. If you want a different result, make a different choice.” Anonymous

“Your life is a result of the choices you make. If you don’t like your life, it is time to start making better choices.” Anonymous

“No matter what the situation, remind yourself, I have a choice.” Deepak Chopra

“Ignore the noise and follow your own choice.” Anonymous

“It is our choices….that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” J.K. Rowling

“Life is the sum of all your choices.”Anonymous

•Do what you love. It’s better to fail at what you love doing than regret not doing it later.

•Don’t live for the approval for others. People will criticize you no matter what.

•Make a choice. Don’t allow fear to control your choices. Be guided by Love.

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Family 🙂

Top 5 things people regret most when on their death beds:

1) “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”

2) “I wish I had stayed in touch with friends.”

3) “I wish I had let myself be happier.”

4) “I wish I had the courage to express my true self.”

5) “I wish I lived a life true to my dreams instead of what others expected of me.”

Listen to a TedTalk that discusses this subject & a few things you can do to live happier & longer.

Share this article if you are going to live a life you won’t regret!

The Basis for Global Equality & The One Thing That Will Truly Transform The World

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“There are so many things we all make a necessity that aren’t a necessity,” I wrote in a journal a few months ago…

This led me to asking not “what does the world need most?” Because the world will be fine with or without humans. But “what do we, as humans, actually need to survive & evolve?” …Food, Sleep…& Clean Water even more so, which millions of people don’t have access to.

What blew my mind even more was that about 20 minutes before I thought & wrote about human necessities, I was thirsty, but didn’t drink the filtered bottled water next to my bed because I had refilled it a day or two before & thought “this is old.”

Minutes later in the moment I was writing about water I had an earnest realization about how much myself & many others take any type of water for granted. So I drank the water & it tasted, like water. A yearning was also sparked in me to raise awareness on the water crisis & help in any way I can.

This post is primarily meant to raise awareness on the water crisis going on in the world, but it may also open your mind up to a new way of thinking. Food & water are a privilege that many of us take for granted.

Some water statistics pulled from multiple sites:

• Every minute a newborn dies from infection caused by lack of safe water and an unclean environment. (WHO, 2015) (wateraid.org)

• 1 in 10 people lack access to clean water. (charitywater.org)

• 2.3 billion people don’t have a decent toilet & 31% of schools don’t have clean water. (WHO/UNICEF Joint Monitoring Programme (JMP) Report 2017) (wateraid.org)

•By 2025, half of the world’s population will be living in water-stressed areas. (http://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/drinking-water)

• Worldwide, 1 out of every 5 deaths of children under 5 is due to a water-related disease. (thewaterproject.com)

•More statistics here: https://thewaterproject.org/water-scarcity/water_stats

What is the one thing that will help transform us & the world we live in? …

Unconditional Love

I know there are numerous amounts of issues that need to be resolved on this planet. Not “our” planet, because we don’t own it, but they are all important & can be resolved in time through the means of unconditional love.

I believe creating clean water systems & giving people access to clean water is one of the most important needs for people as a whole. I know equality at every level in the world is out of balance, but it is especially out of balance for those who don’t have access to a human’s most basic survival needs. Without clean water people are constantly in survival mode, can never grow, & are dying without ever being able to enjoy many parts of life we take for granted.

Water is a beginning solution for growth, just like flowers, plants, vegetables & so many forms of what life is made of. Why don’t we share the joy of water with others? We’ve seen where fear has taken the human race. Why not give love a chance?

Love, unconditional love is what is needed to transform hearts & minds which in turn will transform the world. Giving without expecting anything in return. Giving with joy. & yes, to the pessimistic, the unconditional love a person gives will often be misused, but what you can’t currently see are the seeds being planted from unconditional love. These seeds will one day blossom into beautiful flowers as we & the world transform.

World peace is a possibility. Your fear is what holds you back from thinking it is a possibility…Think about ways in which you can live in a state of love, unconditional love, which is an action…

Patience is an action. Kindness is an action. Not boasting or being proud is an action. Not dishonoring others is an action. Being selfless is an action. Not being easily angered is an action. Not keeping record of wrongs is an action. Not delighting in evil but rejoicing in the truth is an action. Always protecting, trusting, hoping & persevering are actions. Love never fails as Corinthians gives us these traits of love.

Do I fail at loving unconditionally? Yes, often. But I work on it. I remind myself to look toward the traits of love & think about how I can act with unconditional love. We might not feel like being patient, but we can still choose to be patient. Love is an action, not a thought.

Anyway! I took hours to research water non-profit organizations & found many that seem great & reliable. In the end, wherever I donate to, I can’t know whether my money will go to helping build a sustainable water system or be given to an employee who is working to resolve the water crisis. Either way I know it will go toward a good cause & it will help people. (I looked up the statistics for how much of each organization’s donation go to helping others & how much goes to employees—Most use 90% to help and 10% for administration/work related—At least the ones I mention.)

I found that charitywater.org is the most reliable & popular water non-profit, but I donate & want to get more involved with waterforpeople.org as I see their potential & hope to work with an up & coming non-profit organization. I want to raise more awareness on this crisis & hopefully one day go out & physically work to build clean water systems & create sustainable plans for communities.

Another water non-profit I think is good is wateraid.org.

water.org is another popular water non-profit that is doing amazing things but I am not sure how to think about the loans they are giving to people in need of clean water…I want to be part of a group that gives & doesn’t expect anything in return for it, but someone could explain the pros of the loans?

There are a million, maybe billions of issues we have as humans, so whatever cause you are helping with, you are appreciated. I believe that the things done in authentic unconditional love will ultimately be the things that transform us & the world around us.

Your genuine desire to help will be what changes this world.

What would you do if you didn’t have to worry about Money?

Posted on by in Lifestyle, Motivation, Self-Help, Successful People and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

What would you really do?

How would you spend your days?

Cancun

Took this picture as I enjoyed my time in Cancun Mexico

This might be the most important question you ask yourself on your journey toward happiness.

I’ve read that between 70-90% of all people are going to a job they hate. Are you part of that large percentage?

So think about it. Continue dwelling on those questions until you come up with what you really want to do. It may take days, weeks, months or even years to find out what you really want to do, so be patient-or be impatient and settle for a job you hate.

Don’t disregard your first instinct. If it is something such as acting, writing, traveling the world, being a professional athlete, teaching, painting then that is wonderful. It can be anything! Too many people look past their true dreams because society has driven this limited view into us. We have been told that our dreams are not actually possible by authority, then we don’t question them, so we settle.

For years I have asked myself this question, and one of my instinctual thoughts has always been “acting.” I didn’t know how it would happen, but I knew that it is something I would like to do. As I’ve continued to dwell on what I want, acting opportunities began to arise. I’ve been in multiple movies, TV shows and commercials, have met many famous people on sets and I am currently working as an Acting Teacher.

CoachT

I continue to listen to life and adapt as well, as our passions can change throughout the years. I have been blogging for a few years, and a few months ago I got an opportunity to become an intern for the best-selling author, Ryan Holiday. I have published posts for one his websites, done research, editing, but most importantly (after having faith) I put in a lot of focused hours into the work! Your dream is possible.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” MLK Jr.

I never knew how it would all happen, and it is still happening, but I had faith that it would happen.

You don’t need to know HOW it will happen!

You just need to know what it is you actually want, and then believe it is possible. I found out some of the powers of the mind and the power of life at some point in college, and I have been trusting it ever since. Instinct…

Intuition: Life is talking to you. Are you listening?

If you aren’t sure how to listen to your intuition, no need to worry, intuition can be practiced and improved upon.

Coach T Books

Books!!!!

Some ways to improve intuition:

•Meditation: “Think Less to Live More”

•Spend time in nature. Shut off your mind & observe the beauties of life.

•Read books and other content on developing intuition. 

Developing & listening to intuition has been one of the characteristics that has helped many of the happiest & most successful people live out their dreams.

6 Insights from a Retired Life Coach

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This is a guest post by Mershon Niesner, retired Certified Life Coach & Author of http://motherloss.blog

Mershon gives 6 insights into some of the most important aspects of life coaching and how you can use these tips to enhance your life:

Professional Coaching or Life Coaching does not replace therapy, or counseling or good common sense. However, coaching does help people get unstuck, move forward, solve their own problems and live a healthier, happier and more successful personal & professional life.

I started coaching in 1997 and was certified as a coach in 2000, long before most people had heard of coaching and certainly before coaches started writing guest columns in magazines and there were such things as blogs. Retired now, I’ve turned to writing a daily blog that includes coaching questions and I’m currently writing a book, When Lightning Strikes, to be published in 2019. Here are some things I learned during my coaching years:

1. People know the answers to their own important questions

Perhaps they don’t know how to access the answers, perhaps they don’t even know the important questions, but once they discover the question, chances are that somewhere deep inside, they have the answer. The coach’s job is to ask the questions that help people find their own powerful answers. When the answer comes from within, folks are motivated to act and results are infinitely more likely to happen. You know the feeling…when you’re told to do something you might drag your feet, but when you make the decision yourself to take meaningful action, you’re eager to try out your theory and experience the results. Coaches trust this process. They believe in their clients and create an atmosphere of trust, self-worth, and compassion.

2. Big changes sometimes start small

I had a client that was unmotivated, constantly tired, angry at herself for “not getting anything done.” When I had her do a life style assessment, I noticed she self reported that she didn’t make her bed. So, the first request I had for her was to make her bed for a week and report back. The next week she was surprised at her progress…no more naps, more energy, a greater sense of well-being and self-worth. She started her day with purpose by making her bed. She didn’t want to “mess it up” by taking a nap so she had better nighttime sleep and more energy. Did this solve all of her problems? Of course not, but it was a powerful start. Another client did an online class with me about having more fun. She realized that as a very busy corporate person she had zero fun in her life and did nothing for her own joy. Her assignment, “Buy yourself flowers once a week and put them on your desk to remind yourself that you count.” She did. She later quit her corporate job and became a coach. She was a client for several years. Little things can make a difference.

3. Most people thrive with accountability

Our profession is called coaching because in some ways, we show up like athletic coaches especially as it relates to accountability. For instance, if someone wanted to sell more widgets, I’d ask them, “How many sales calls will you make this week?” They know they are paying their coach good money to hold them accountable so that is part of the motivation. Another aspect is simply wanting to say, “Hey, Coach, I met my goal this week!” Some say, “I did such and such because I didn’t want to disappoint you.” Whatever the motivation, calls are made that would not have been made otherwise, sales increase, self-esteem rises and soon the coach is no longer needed.

4. Generally, people give themselves bigger and better challenges

As a coach or a parent or even a boss, it is tempting to “be in charge” and hand out the goals or punishment. It has been my experience as a coach and as a parent that generally well-meaning people will give themselves an even bigger challenge/punishment than you might give them. Have you ever asked your child what kind of punishment he or she deserves for a particular offense? Maybe you would take away their electronic device for a day. Depending on how bad they feel about their behavior, they will possibly say two. Remember the guy selling widgets? I might have asked him to make 10 sales calls but, likely, he will challenge himself to 15. If he says 5, I would ask him what it would take to double that and see what he says. It’s still his decision…that’s where the power lies.

5. It’s all about the listening

Few people have someone in their corner who truly listens to them. Not half listens, not listens while checking for messages, not listens while stirring the pot but listens with their whole mind and beyond…heart to heart listening. Most of my coaching was done over the telephone. I had clients all around the country and occasionally in exotic places like India. I always called them at the appointed time. Often I “had them at hello.” With just a word, I could tell much about their state of mind and would immediately ask, “what’s up?” surprising them with my “knowing.” When folks are really heard, they begin to shine as if they are on a stage with a spotlight. When they know they are valued and understood, trusted and cared about, listened to with the heart…their life begins to change. You don’t have to be a coach to really listen to the people in your life.

6. Coaching, like life in general, is messy

And finally, I used to tell my clients, “Sometimes you have to throw a lot of spaghetti against the wall and see what sticks.” Living life is a messy business. To have a successful, joy-filled life, you have to try new things, step out of your comfort zone, trust yourself and your instincts (which aren’t always 100 percent), and really live this messy life to the fullest. You have to get out of your own way, have compassion for yourself and others, tap into your faith, make mistakes in order to learn and allow others to do the same. Professional or business coaching may start out to be about marketing or business plans or climbing the ladder but it always evolves into life coaching. We are whole people, experiencing life through a wide lens, not a pin hole. What’s keeping you from being all you can be? What’s one action you will take today to move towards your Future Self?

Contact me if you would like to submit a guest post — kthompson7814@gmail.com

4 Philosophy ideas that can bring you temporary peace

Posted on by in Lifestyle, Motivation, Self-Help, Successful People and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Disclaimer—This might change your perspective on life. Hopefully for the better. 

The choice is yours.

The 4 philosophy ideas I discuss stem from a philosophy called stoicism.

I wanted to title this post: “Stoicism 101; an old philosophy that can liberate you,” but I’m not sure if many people have heard about stoicism, and I know most people have heard of philosophy.

So what is stoicism? (scroll down to ‘4 Main Points‘ section for just the main points if you’d like).

Stoicism is defined as: “The endurance of pain or hardship without a display of feelings and without complaint.”

It is being okay with everything that happens & accepting how you feel.  It is focusing on what you can control, and letting go of the rest.  

Stoicism is liberating.

Stoicism can help you: 

  • Become a better person & friend
  • Deal with people & external events appropriately
  • Deal with adversity
  • Maintain a level head through praise & criticism
  • Come to peace with death
  • Overcome destructive emotions, and many more.

marcus-aurelius-quote-fridge-magnet-2_large

Stoicism is also defined as: “An ancient Greek school of philosophy founded at Athens by Zeno of Citium. The school taught that virtue, the highest good, is based on knowledge, and that the wise live in harmony with the divine Reason (also identified with Fate and Providence) that governs nature, and are indifferent to the vicissitudes of fortune and to pleasure and pain.”

Stoicism helps us accept life as it is.  It helps us get past our labels of “good” & “bad.” Stoicism helps put us in a mindful state of awareness, getting us out of our constantly judging mind, enabling us to experience life fully, non-judgmentally.

In relation to living non-judgmentally, I’ve heard this quote: “What is chaos to the fly is normal to the spider.”

Shakespeare also said, “there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

We know what is good or bad in human terms, but there is a lot more going on in the universe than what we think.

What-the-Big-Bang-explains

Think about the millions of galaxies just like this one. Or even think about 10 more. The Universe is vast.

There is so much happening beyond us.

We know that murder is a bad thing, yet cows, chickens and other animal life are murdered daily in our world.  I eat meat so I am not complaining, I am just trying to get us all to think.

Do you think eating dog is bad?

Multiple countries eat dog today, and other countries think that this is very wrong…Here is an article that came out April 3, 2018 that discusses how over 5 million dogs are eaten in Vietnam every year—Click Here For Article.

Is it wrong to kill animals for food? I don’t have that answer.

Maybe hundreds or thousands of years from now, if the human race is still around, they will wonder how we could have eaten the meat of other animals.

Maybe not though as well.

Look back to a few examples from recent centuries, the 1900’s & beyond, to things we look back on in disgust: Open racism, public hangings & no womens’ rights.

These injustices are still happening today in some places.

So this is what philosophy is; thinking. Thinking, learning & then living out the best life from what we know. Philosophy is about questions & perspectives.

Stoicism is not pessimistic, it is optimistic, you just need to see it in the right light.

Before I get to the main points of stoicism, I would like your feedback via email. I am considering writing a short ebook that will discuss stoicism in more detail.  I have about 70 pages of solid notes on the subject, & have read multiple books regarding stoicism, so if you would be interested in reading a short ebook(condensed to about 20 pages) please let me know!

For now, here is a summary of a few main points that stoicism offers & how we can apply them to our lives.

4 Main Points

1~Amor Fati

•Which translates to a love of one’s fate•

German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche was a big fan of amor fati. 

He is quoted saying, “my formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it, but love it.”

The stoics also had another way of looking at this. They believed in a universal guiding force of the universe. They thought we are like a dog tied to a moving cart, and we have two options: We can try to dig our hind legs in, struggling to control everything, getting dragged & being challenged. Or we can enjoy the ride & live our best lives.

Last quote on Amor Fati:

“Demand not that things happen as you wish, but wish them to happen as they do, and you will go on well.” Epictetus (Philosopher & former slave)

Are you loving your fate?  If not, you can with practice, and it will help you live your best life.

2~Focus on what you can control and let go of the rest

Most of us have heard this quote: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Reinhold Niebuhr

We have heard it, and might think, “yea that’s good, I should do that.” But we often don’t follow through with this quote.

We need to follow through with action. Make a list of things you can control, and a list of things you can’t control.  Then stop wasting any time on things you cannot control.  This takes time & practice, as I am practicing this myself and am not perfect at it.

I love this idea from Philip Ghezelbash that relates to focusing on the things we can control:

“Do you have a problem in your life?

No? ► Then don’t worry.

Yes? ► Can you do something about it?…

Yes? ► Then don’t worry.

No? ► Then don’t worry.”

I have been practicing this lately when I am stuck in traffic.  There is no reason to get upset in uncontrollable traffic, but many people do & I have too at times.  I’ve been reminding myself that I have no control over the traffic, and this reminder has been bringing me peace of mind.

3~Practice poverty & misfortune

This may sound counterproductive but it can actually help a person grow tremendously.

When we intentionally practice poverty & misfortune a few days each month, we will be more prepared and accepting for when it does come.

“We must learn to disappoint ourselves at leisure before the world ever has a chance to slap us by surprise at a time of its own choosing.” Alain de Botton

Alain goes on to say: “One of the goals of civilization is to instruct us in how to be sad rather than angry. Sadness may not sound very appealing. But it carries – in this context – a huge advantage. It is what allows us to detach our emotional energies from fruitless fury around things that (however bad) we cannot change and that are the fault of no-one in particular and – after a period of mourning – to refocus our efforts in places where our few remaining legitimate hopes and expectations have a realistic chance of success.”

Entrepreneur, practicer of stoicism, and author of a New York Times Best Selling Book, The 4-Hour Workweek, Tim Ferriss, practices this each month.  See him talk about it by clicking here…

Ferriss talks about how the philosopher Cato, would practice poverty & misfortune:

During Cato’s age, over 2000 years ago, every now and then he would wear clothes that society viewed as humiliating.

Cato did this to train himself to be ashamed of only those things truly worth being ashamed about.

Deep down we know that clothes are nothing to be ashamed of, but many people spend a lot of money to buy brand clothing to impress people they don’t even like.

The philosopher Seneca also practiced this.  In one of his writings he wrote: “Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with coarse and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: ‘Is this the condition that I feared?’”

We undervalue what we have, because most likely we’ve always had it…

“Many of your fears are based on undervaluing the things that are easily obtainable.” Tim Ferriss

Ferriss also practices this by doing fasts, not eating anything for days, & also doing fasts that include only eating rice, or only drinking water.  (If you plan on doing a fast, research it as much as possible beforehand).

This year I have done two 30 hour fasts, and multiple 16-20 hour fasts.

There has been a lot of research done on fasting, and it has many benefits.  This Harvard study explains how fasting can lead to a longer and healthier life: Click Here for the study.

I’ve been practicing this another way without even knowing it:  When I need clothes, I first go to Goodwill or other thrift stores, where I buy great clothes for a cheap price.  I am very glad my mother took us to thrift shops growing up; they really have some amazing gems.  And when I buy clothes that society might think is “poor,” that doesn’t bother me & I’ll still wear it.

Macklemore agrees here in his song Thrift shop(clean version).

He says, “I’m like, ‘yo, that’s 50 dollars for a t-shirt.’ Limited edition, let’s do some simple addition. 50 dollars for a t-shirt, that’s just some ignorant _____.

I call that getting tricked by the business.”

Do we care that much about the opinions of others that we will spend enormous amounts of money to impress them?

2000 years ago, former Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius said, “it never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.”

Think about what your life would be like without the things you have.  It could happen.  Better to have practiced misfortune so that if it comes to you, you won’t be bothered by it.

Are you practicing poverty & misfortune?  If not, do you think you will?

4~None of what you do lasts

Again, this may sound pessimistic, but it is liberating, and if you are still reading you can sense that practicing stoicism can be liberating.

Marcus Aurelius reminded himself of all the people who have died, whether they had a “great” occupation or a “lowly” one.  He said: “Run down the list of those who felt intense anger at something: the most famous, the most unfortunate, the most hated, the most whatever: Where is all that now? Smoke, dust, legend…or not even a legend. Think of all the examples. And how trivial the things we want so passionately are.”

“No matter how clever or brilliant, none of what we do lasts…It’s good to remember that.” Ryan Holiday

epictetus

“If everything is ephemeral, what does matter?  Right now matters.  Being a good person and doing the right thing right now, thats what matters and that’s what was important to the Stoics. Be humble and honest and aware.” Ryan Holiday

If you want to really live your best life, it is important to frequently think of your own mortality. This will help you appreciate each and every moment, and not have such an intense fear of death that most people refuse to think about.

“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” Marcus Aurelius

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I hope you enjoyed learning about, or learning more about the wonderful philosophy of stoicism.  There are many more practices involved with stoicism; these were a few key starting points I believe are good to begin with, & they are ones that I am practicing.

If you want to learn more about stoicism, I recommend reading the book “Meditations” by Marcus Aurelius.  I recently read it & it is now one of my top 3 all-time favorite books.

And as I said, I have many notes on stoicism and am considering writing a short ebook on the subject to discuss it in more details (the ebook would be around 20 pages). If this is something you’d be interested in reading please let me know 🙂

I look forward to hearing from you, & hope you have gained a new perspective through reading this.

Cheers.

“In your actions, don’t procrastinate. In your conversations, don’t confuse. In your thoughts, don’t wander. In your soul, don’t be passive or aggressive. In your life, don’t be all about business.” Aurelius

Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?

Posted on by in Lifestyle, Motivation, Self-Help and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

What if what we thought about an event wasn’t always the best way of looking at it?

Many of us label our experiences and situations as “good,” or “bad,” and many other things.

This perspective limits us from living our best lives.

As a culture we have seemed to judge events as good or bad (luck), but sometimes when we think something “bad” has happened, it is good in disguise.  And sometimes when we think something “good” has happened, it is bad in disguise.

There’s an ancient proverb that elaborates this concept:

There was a farmer who had a beautiful strong horse that was used to plow his fields.

One day, the horse escaped, and the farmer’s neighbors came to the man sympathizing about his bad luck.  The farmer replied, “Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?”

A few days later the horse returned with a herd of stallions.  This time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck.  He replied with, “Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?”

The next week when the farmer’s son was trying to tame one of the stallions, he fell off the horse and broke his leg. “What bad luck,” the neighbors told the farmer.  “Bad luck? Good luck?  Who knows?” Said the farmer.

A few days later an army came into the village, forcing every able-bodied youth to join them.  When they saw the farmer’s son with his broken leg, they didn’t bother to take him with them.

Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?

I’m sure you can think of a time when something bad happened but it turned out to help you in the end.  Was it good luck or bad luck?

We can’t always know the reason behind an event, so it’s important to keep a neutral attitude..

..To observe the events in our life without judging them, without drawing conclusions about them…This can bring about great peace of mind.

Great leaders understand this concept and are able to remain calm, trust life and themselves, take appropriate action, generate acceptance, and have a flexible attitude.

So the next time you’re in a situation that you label as “good” or “bad” I encourage you to ask yourself, “Good luck?” “Bad luck?” Who knows…

Thank you for reading!

Here’s another post that may also help you enable a different perspective: Question your Certainty